We have 3 kids, and our eldest is gay. I've always known our son was different, I thought my husband knew too because he and our son were really close, most of my friends have told me that their children become a little bit distant when they hit puberty, but not our son, just a few weeks ago they were playing basketball and playing chess basically every day and talking with each other nonstop. Everything was great until my son came out to him. It went very well when he came out to me, so my son thought his father would have the same reaction, and I thought the same. But after he came out to him, my husband came back alone, I told him how did it go? He said, "Did you know?" I couldn't believe the look he gave me. He looked very angry and just went to his office without saying anything

I called my son and he was crying, and started to apologise to me about everything, I was so fucking angry but instead of yelling at my husband I just went to get him, when I found him I really felt like crying, his eyes were red and he looked very sad, I never see him cry so my heart felt like it was being squeezed, he just said he was sorry, I kept driving for a while and then we went to eat pizza

Now my kids and I are staying with my father, and I'm thinking I should get a divorce, but it's not going to be easy at all, my son is definitely going to blame himself for this, he already has, and I heard all sorts of horror stories about divorce. my son told me we should go back and he can stay with my father, but I'm really starting to hate my husband for this, why would he do this to me, even if I decided to stay with him I'm not sure our relationship is ever going to recover from this. If he truly loved our son, why would he react like that? Or did he react like that because he loves him too much and created unrealistic expectations of our son in his head? I was looking at some subreddits here, and it seems these sort of things end up ruining the whole family, so I'm very hesitant to do something I might regret later

So a quick update, my son just told me that when they were in the car and he came out to him his father yelled at him that he regrets having him and that he's a fucking disappointment. and literally why??? Why would he say that? Now my husband finally decided to call me and told me that he loves us so much and he was just angry, and apparently he tried to call my son to apologise to him but it's too late, my son doesn't want to talk to him and just told me to take his siblings and go back because he doesn't want his father to be alone 🤦‍♀️, I swear I don't know what we did to deserve him, he deserves a father that respects him and cares about his safety. But not only did he yell and say a bunch of shit that a child should never hear from their parent, he also left him in a remote area without money, what if he was attacked by someone or decided to end his life? I'm so conflicted right now, I know a divorce is not the answer because my son would never forgive himself, but at the same time, I'm starting to see my husband differently

Another update, my husband told me the reason he was so angry is because no straight man wants his son to be gay especially because they were very close. he said he doesn't hate gay people. He just didn't want his son to be lgbt, but that it's his problem to solve, and he wants us back and wants to come over and talk our son. The only reason I'm deciding to stay is because my son loves him so much, and I want to respect what he wants, a divorce is going to be too messy and traumatise him and our other kids forever, yesterday he was begging me to just go back and was constantly apologising and saying how sorry he is, this is really not great, he didn't anything wrong, his father is just an idiot. I don't know how we ended up here, I thought my husband loved our kids just as much as I do, I mean our son is just gay I can't imagine what he'd do if he was trans. Anyway, Many people have messaged me, and I want to say thank you all for your advice, my husband did show me he cares he even cried and said how sorry he is for how reacted, I know he's still homophobic to our son but at least he feels guilty and wants to apologise to him. But the damage is done, and what he said to our son was too cruel. If he ever says something like that, I'll probably do way more than divorce him