Advice Needed
I (33 f) have been married to my husband (36 m) for 7 years. A little over 5 years ago I got pregnant with our son. Long story short on that it was a terrible time for me. The pregnancy was rough on me and on top of that my husband demanded a pregnancy test. He kept trying to say he didn't think I would cheat on him but he 'needed to be sure'. It destroyed me emotionally and it didn't get better after our son was born and he got the proof he needed. I asked him to go to marriage counseling with me he told me no because it was my issue I needed to get over. So, I asked him for just therapy for me and he said no because I just needed to get over it and we didn't have the money for it. I hated him for the first year of my sons life. Like with a burning passion. However, I learned about meditation and mindfulness and over time my hatred dissipated and I just felt indifferent towards him. I didn't love him anymore but I didn't hate him. I wanted a divorce but my family and his family convinced me it would be better to stay for my son and I did for him.
My relationship with my husband, if you could call it that was fine. I still did everything I was suppose to as a wife. I cooked, cleaned, and let him use my body to get off whenever he wanted. I just saw it as a chore that I needed to do. I thought everything was going fine, our son just started going to Kindergarten and I have been looking for a job while son is at school, I even started working out again. Now the problem is my husband came to me and said he wanted another baby. I laughed because I thought he was joking but he was serious. I told him that I wouldn't have a baby with someone that I didn't love and he was shocked. He told me that he had no idea that I didn't love him Which was ridiculous to me because in the past 5 years I stopped wearing my wedding ring and have never said I love you to him. We didn't do anything together no date nights, didn't exchange any gifts for any occasion. We were just living like roommates who had sex some times. Now, he wants to do counseling and all this stuff to save our marriage and I just don't want to or see the point.
I’m 19m, my ex is 19f, her ex boyfriend she went back to is 22m.
I’ve been dating her casually for a couple months, and she told me the day before Valentine’s Day that she has been talking to somebody else and wanted to break up with me to be with him.
I asked who, and she said it was her ex. This made me involuntarily laugh because from what she told me + what I’ve heard from mutual friends that know him is a) he’s a diagnosed narcissist b) he is unemployed and lives off his parents and her when she was dating him c) he initially turned her down when she asked him out, asked out another girl, was rejected, and decided to date her. Additionally, I’ve seen him, and he’s honestly not very attractive. So the sheer stupidity of going back to him made me laugh. Breaking up with me is one thing and fair, but how stupid do you have to be to go back to that?
She got angry at me for laughing and said I was just trying to make her feel bad because I’m hurt. I thought about it for a second, and realized I wasn’t hurt. Normally if my girlfriend left me for somebody else, I would have been, but in this case, the fact she’s going back to him of all people made me realize 2 things: 1) she’s making an objectively really stupid decision, and that level of stupidity is unattractive to me, so I didn’t feel I was losing anybody I respect or find attractive on a level beyond physical anymore 2) her making a stupid decision says more about her inability to judge what a good boyfriend would be, more so than my attractiveness.
I told her as such, and she got angry and stormed off. Some mutual friends said I was an asshole for belittling her decision and laughing at her. I think some decisions deserve to be laughed at.
AITA?
