Lisa was lying on the bed watching television when Earl walked into the room and started undressing.
“What are you doing?” Lisa asked even though she was well aware of what he was doing.
“Isn’t it obvious?” he replied.
“But we already did that this morning before you went to work,” she countered, “And last night before you went to sleep.”
“So,” Earl shrugged, “I want to do it again.”
“But I don’t,” she said firmly, “I want to rest and maybe take a shower.”
“You can do those things afterward,” Earl gave her a lascivious smile. He was standing at the foot of the bed completely naked and ready for action, “Or we can do it in the shower,” he suggested, “We haven’t done that in a while.”
“I said no.”
“You don’t get to say no.” He grabbed her by the arm and pulled her into the bathroom where he shoved her into the shower and started the water.
As he tried to step in behind her, Lisa lashed out and pushed Earl as hard as she could, forcing him out of the shower.
“I! SAID! NO!” she yelled at him, stepping out of the shower to push him again. When she did, Earl fell backward.
As he fell, he lashed out, trying to grab hold of her and stop himself from falling but all he managed to do was grab a tuft of her hair right before he hit his head on the edge of the sink.
As he lay there dying, Lisa returned to the shower.
***
“What the hell is that thing?” Detective Johns stepped over the body of Earl and approached the shower, pointing at the life-sized rubber figure inside.
“That’s Lisa,” one of the responding officers replied.
“It has a name?” Detective Johns scoffed.
“That’s what they’re all called,” the officer explained, “It stands for Life Imitating Sexual Apparatus. It’s the most advanced sex doll on the market. We think the deceased was…you know…with the doll…when he must’ve fallen and hit his head.
Contact national plaintiffs’ law firm Lieff Cabraser for an evaluation of your claim.
"In order for us to direct your call more efficiently, please choose from the following four options...If you are a new customer and wish to set up an account, press one...For transport and logistics, press two...For customer care and deliveries, press three...For--"
3
"...Please hold and your call will be answered shortly..."
As the hold music played its mocking tune, my stomach churned with hunger and frustration.
"Hello, you're through to Lucy from team 6b. How can I assist you today?"
"Please... I need help--" My voice faltered.
"May I have your name, please?" Lucy's calm demeanor cut through my desperation.
"...Lee," I managed, my throat dry as hell.
"Lee, and your last name please?"
"Walker. I need--" Again, I was cut off.
"Mr. Walker, can I call you Lee?"
"Yes, that's fine, listen to me, I just need--"
"Thank you, Lee. Can you tell me the first line of your address, please?"
"I don't have time for all this!" I burst out. "Please, I just need my delivery! I'm starving!"
"Sir, please calm down. I can only help you if you stay calm, or I will have to terminate this call," Lucy warned.
"...fine," I gritted my teeth.
"Thank you. Can you tell me the first line of your address, please, Lee?"
Reluctantly, I provided the information, my impatience growing.
"Thank you, Lee," Lucy acknowledged. "Now, let's see what we can do to assist you. Have you tried our new online ordering system?"
"No, I haven't," I replied, my frustration mounting. "I just need my delivery now! Like it was scheduled! Not some online-system!"
"I understand your urgency, Lee, unfortunately, due to high demand, our delivery times have been delayed. We are working to fulfill orders as quickly as possible."
My heart sank. "But I can't wait any longer!"
"I apologize for the inconvenience, sir. Is there any way you can manage until the delivery arrives? We can expedite your order, but it may still take some time."
Desperation washed over me. "I'll--I'll try to hold on," I whispered. "Please, just... hurry."
With a heavy heart, I hung up, reflecting on the irony of my situation. In a world where harming humans in any way meant imminent death, us vampires relied heavily on The BloodLine services.
I closed my eyes and prayed that the delivery would arrive soon, because my next-door neighbor's throat is sounding pretty good right now...
