Forgive me for not knowing correct terms and such. I’ve read about 10 books about Buddhism and sacred text and I still feel like I have so much to learn. Especially Zen Buddhism in particular as the only temple in my city is specifically zen. So I went to the temple a few times and was actively reading a lot about Buddhism and meditating. I became a member last year but haven’t done the renewal for this year. I really enjoyed it at first and felt it spiritually and I especially connected with the member I met on my first trip there who gave me a beginner’s introduction. There was a ceremony in which the sensei was talking to the lower members and they could ask her any question. She was very mean although it seemed to be her sense of humor it rubbed me the wrong way. She would go “hm I don’t like that” “I don’t like that either sit down” and just make fun of people in general and some looked visibly upset afterward. Last time in her dharma talk she mentioned that she regularly goes to a pug breeder which I very strongly disagree with, especially with pugs and animals we’ve breezed with deformities. I was getting very into buddhism on my own time through reading and meditating and mindset. I have found some discouragement in not aligning well with the temple. Any advice on furthering my practice and if I should overlook the feelings I have coming up about the sensei/co-founder? Thank you and blessings

How do I completely let go,

I’ve noticed with the work of meditation I’m realizing changes in myself and thinking patterns along with perspective.

How do I completely let go and allow this new perspective to happen.

I want to not only let go of my ego but also do it to the extent that I’m no longer afraid of the change in myself