this is a community like r/AmITheAsshole except unlike that subreddit here you can post interpersonal conflicts, anything that's AITA but is not allowed there even posting about Scar from the lion king and trying to convince redditors that he was not the AH. rules: don't berate others and no pornography we have children here
I am 32m and my wife is 31f we have been together for 5 years and married for 2. We had our kid 5 months ago. For some info my wife is a stay at home mom, she wanted to be a stay-at-home wife, but when I told her what she would have to do around the house, she said no. When she got pregnant, she said she wanted to be a stay-at-home mom, which I figured. I did tell her that she would be the primary caretaker of our child and that she would still have some chores around the house that she would need to do once she fully recovered. For a little more Info, she wanted to be a stay-at-home wife because I make a significant amount more than her; I was against it because I didn't want her to always rely on me for money. She spent her whole check while I tried to save money, so we compromised. She could keep her complete check, and I'll pay all the bills, and she may do groceries or pay for something else.
So now to the story: our son wakes up in the middle of the night a lot. I think he's scared or hungry, I don't know, if I don't have to go to work the next day I will get him and take care of him and sometimes even if I have to go in I'll get him. A few nights ago my wife had went out with her friends for the first time in a while I took care of him while she was gone she had come in loudly and made the baby cry. I asked her can she get him because I had a big day at work yes she was still up. She said no she was tried I said I was also tired. We argued for a minute I ended up going get the baby while she went to go eat dinner. She asked how come I only get the baby some nights but not all since she has to take care of him during the day. I told her you asked to be a stay at home mom, you chose this I told you that it was a 24 hour job if you didn't know the job description that's not my fault. She got mad and said how was she supposed to know the description of a job she had never had before. I told her he's a baby he's gonna cry if he hears loud noises or gets scared that's common sense I also told her you also never had a job before with your first job yet you still did it. I told her that if she wanted to go back to work she could and then we could split child care 50/50 she hated that idea and got madder at me. I just ended up sleeping in the room next to the babies. So aitah for saying that?
Sorry if it's long I tried to sum it up as much as possible and also this is throwaway.
Edit: I work 12 hour shifts, and a stay at home wife is someone who is like a housewife. If you still don't know, please search it up. When I gave her chores she had to do it is because she was not going to be a stay at home wife and do nothing but spend money. For her being a stay at home mom as long as the kid is alive and the house isn't too messy then I'm fine for now. When he starts crawling I don't accept it to be as clean as it was when he was a newborn.
Edit 2: I do parent my child. When I get home I take him unless he's sleep them I let him stay sleep, but as soon as he's up I'm doing whatever with him while my wife has a break to do whatever she pleases. Yes somedays I cook other days we go out, and on my off days she knows she can go wherever she pleases. The reason I called her job 24hrs is because as a mother or father it is. So she is a mother that is her job so yes it is 24hrs.