In my husband's family you inherit from your grandparents. My husband's father got it into his head that our son was the product of Me having an affair. He said that he would not set aside money for him unless we got a paternity test. My husband told his father to go fuck himself and we cut him off.
It has been a couple of years now and he wants back into our lives. But he still wanted a paternity test.
My husband and I talked about it and we agreed under the condition that when it turned out that my husband was the father the money for our son would be in an irrevocable trust for his future even though, obviously, his grandfather has not passed away. He agreed and we did a test sort of like 23 and me but more reputable and private.
It just so happens that my son is indeed my husband's child. But he is not related to a bunch of his paternal relatives.
My husband's mom is a saint and she divorced her jackass ex a long time ago. He immediately started shitting on her for cheating since obviously the test showed that my husband was illegitimate.
Two tests later the results are back and my father in law is definitely my husband's father. My father in law however is not the offspring of the man he always thought was his dad.
We had a legally binding contract so my son has his inheritance waiting for him when he turns 25.
We saw my father in law over the holidays and he was complaining about how he had to liquify some of his assets to set up the trust fund. I said that if he had just accepted his grandson and hadn't been such a bastard about it then we would all have been happier. He got very quiet and very angry. He said I was being very rude to insult him like that. I said that he had been rude to insinuate that I was cheating on my husband. And that technically he was indeed a bastard.
He is furious with me and mad at my husband for letting me talk about him that way. My husband told him that he brought this all on himself and that if he wants to be in our lives he will treat us all with respect. He followed up that since we have the money now there is nothing he can hold over is if we choose to kick him back out.
We are hearing a lot from relatives of my husband. Some good, some bad. Overall they think I need to be more polite but they agree he did this to himself.
My husband, Liam (39M) and I (36F) have been married for 11 years, together for 15. A couple of years ago, our little bundle of joy, our six-year old daughter was snatched away from us in a car accident, in which Liam was driving. I was back home when I had received a call from the hospital. Liam was in ICU for a month, while I received the terrible news of the death of our daughter who died on spot. He went in shock when he heard the news.
Ever since then, Liam has completely withdrawn from me. He took off all the pictures which contained our daughter, turned her room into his study, and pretended as if our daughter never existed. I knew he was grieving, many times I had heard him silently weeping in our daughter's room. I tried to get him into therapy, or for us to go to counselling, but he had shut down my offer every single time, and goes in rage whenever I mention it, he yells, he breaks things, and storms off, and doesn't come back home for a couple of days, leaving me worried sick.
He barely comes home nowadays, completely avoids me, and rejects my every attempt for comfort. Once, when I had tried to make him understand that this wasn't what our daughter would have wanted, he completely lost it, smashed a flower pot against the wall, and told me to go fuck myself or better, die and never come back. Liam was never like this, he was a very sweet, calm and patient man, and loved our daughter to death, so much so, that her first word was 'Dada'.
I still love him, but I miss our daughter too, I need some comfort too, neither of us have any siblings, and our close friends are in different countries. Liam is NC with his mother while his father had died shortly after the birth of our daughter. My parents tried to comfort me as much as they could, they told me to be patient with him, to help him get back on his feet, but I am tired, I tried everything.
Earlier, we used to share the household chores, but now I have completely taken them on myself so that he can grieve in peace, I cook his favorite meals, which he throws away without even taking a single bite.
The last straw was a couple of months ago, when I had told him if he doesn't get into therapy, I'd file for a divorce. He coldly smiled at me, and thanked me for showing him my true colors, he told me to go ahead with the divorce since I seem so eager to ditch him.
I feel guilty, horrible and completely useless, but I just can't go on like this any longer. Should I give him more time? Would things get better? WIBTA if I leave him now, when I am supposed to be comforting him?