The Terrifying, Surprising and Miraculous Birth Story of Grayson Knight Duganz, Part 2

*Note: This is a Birth Story - as such there are details and photos (though nothing too graphic) of birth. If you don't want to read about things like dilation and cervix effacement, please skip this post* 

So our midwife Cassie had just arrived at the hospital. My family - mom, sister and dad - were there as well. Cassie was one of the two certified nurse midwives we'd seen throughout our pregnancy via the Bozeman OB/GYN Clinic. (As a side note, we love them and would HIGHLY recommend them to anyone in the area.) So Cassie was a labor and delivery nurse for years at Bozeman Deaconess before pursuing her advanced midwife training. We loved her bedside manner and easy-going nature. Lori, the other midwife, was a military nurse for years and years. She had a more non-nonsense approach and tons of experience - she estimates she's delivered around 1,500(!) babies.

Captain Picard is my good luck charm so of course he accompanied us to the hospital.

So when we got to the hospital Cassie was technically on-call, although she had really just finished her shift. She came in to check on me anyway. At this point I was in the jacuzzi tub that was in my hospital room. I didn't much care for the jacuzzi part but the tub part was wonderful. The nurse even came in with some drops of essential oil (lavender) to enhance the relaxation. After Cassie sat with me for a while, she let me know that it was actually her day off and she was going skiing with her family. Lori would be taking over from there. We had mainly seen Cassie for our pre-natal appointments so I was bummed she had to go. But I was confident that Lori would do a great job.

The next few hours are kind of a blur to me (I'm pretty sure women have hormones that make them forget what giving birth is like so as to continue to propagate the species). I know that the contractions were hard. I wasn't getting a "rest period" in between each one, like I was supposed to. Instead I would go from like a 5 on the pain scale to a 10 and then back to a 5. Patrick and I had planned on taking walks, listening to the awesome birth playlist he made me, doing all of our contraction "positions" that we learned in our birth class (like slow dancing to said playlist). Unfortunately I just wasn't able to do any of that. Most of the time during these hours of contractions I was either 1. In the bath 2. Rocking on a birthing ball 3. In the bath tub with the shower running. I rarely laid down in bed, even though I was exhausted and really wanted to sleep, because it seemed to make the pain worse.

Laboring on the ball under a shroud of warm blankets (best part of the hospital) while Patrick rubs my back.

So I would labor for two or three hours and then Lori would check my progress. I was mostly just quiet I guess and I even remember Lori telling me at one point she couldn't even tell when I was having contractions because my facial expression didn't change at all. Lori, Patrick & the rest of my family were great throughout this period. They would just sit with me and help me through the contractions. Patrick would rub my back and try to help me get into the peaceful place we'd practiced so many times before. My family would take turns with Patrick holding my hand and sitting with me so he could get a break every once in a while.

My sis holds my hand while I'm in the tub.

The discouraging part was that despite how hard I was working and how hard my contractions were coming, I was not progress very fast. After two or three hours of intense laboring, I would get maybe 1 or 1.5 more centimeters. Lori said that sometimes it happens that way and usually at some point we would experience a "jump" and gain 3 or more very quickly. That never really happened.

One of the few times I labored in bed. Poor Patrick didn't sleep at all either through the whole labor.

I have no earthly idea what time it was, but at some point during that day Lori thought it would be a good idea to finish breaking my water. Because although my water had technically broken, the sac itself hadn't fully ruptured. Lori's thought was that if we broke the water, it would help encourage Grayson to move down and put more pressure on my cervix to get things going faster. Unfortunately this didn't work either.

 However I did get a second wind at some point after the waters broke and really felt like I could do it. I worked really hard through the contractions and spent another probably two or three hours alternating between the shower and the ball. I thought for sure when Lori checked me again, I would be at least at 8 cm. I was hoping for 9 cm. So when she said I was maybe at 7, it was really discouraging. The way I was progressing, that meant another 6-9 hours before I was even close to being ready to push.

My amazing coach, keeping me going.

At that point I had been laboring for probably around 18 hours or so. Another possible 10 hours before I could even begin the pushing process seemed unbearable. I hadn't slept in over 30 hours. I was exhausted, frustrated and discouraged. That was the point that my birth plan went out the window.

Part of me wishes that I hadn't had any cervix checks performed. Maybe I would have had the strength to keep going if I didn't know how slowly I was progressing. But at that point I just really, really needed a break and to sleep for even five minutes. Lori suggested I have a small dose of some pain reliever that now I can't remember the name of. It would be administered into my IV port and would last around 45 minutes. Just long enough for me to get some sleep and maybe build up more strength for when I needed to push. So my resolve and pride out the window, I accepted the medical intervention.

To Be Continued In Part 3....

*All photos credited to my amazing sister, Maleea Muhlestein*

The Terrifying, Surprising and Miraculous Birth Story of Grayson Knight Duganz, Part 1

*Note: This is a Birth Story - as such there are details about birth. If you don't want to read about things like dilation and cervix effacement, please skip this post*

There are so many preconceptions and expectations surrounding pregnancy and birth. Patrick and I spent months and months planning for, dreaming about and picturing Grayson's birth. We wanted a natural birth. We expected it to take between 12-15 hours (average for first-time mom). We expected Grayson to weigh around 8 pounds when he was born. We expected that it would be challenging but neither of us anticipated just how difficult/exhausting/terrifying it would be.

To start with, Patrick was sick. The sickest I've seen him in years. We took him to the doctor the day he started feeling badly - not the flu (thanks to the flu shot) - but some nasty bug going around. Because of this, I had stopped actively trying to go into labor (stomping around outside in the snow, eating spicy food, etc.) as I didn't want it to happen when Patrick was still feeling lousy.

But the morning of the 29th, four days after Grayson's estimated due date, Patrick started feeling better. My dad suggested that we go for a short hike to help labor get started.  So we drove up Hyalite Canyon and hiked the half mile trail to Palisades Falls. The drive itself was stressful enough - we even got stuck briefly in the powdery snow when the tires of Rhino (my sister's Exterra) got off the tire tracks a little. Luckily a group of about 15 snowshoers just happened by and helped push the vehicle out of the deep snow and back onto the road. 

Ready for the hike at 40 weeks plus 5 days.

The hike was pretty exhausting, despite it's "easy" rating. At the top of the hike, I sat down on a tree stump and watched the crazy people attempt to climb the waterfall.

Ice climbers at the Falls. 

As I sat there, I felt something a little different. I had suspicion that my water had broken, but I wasn't sure. We headed back down the trail and I brushed off the feeling that maybe I had started labor. We got back home and the evening progressed normally. After the long day, I went to bed early.

Around 10 pm,  I started feeling contractions. Or what I thought could be contractions. I wasn't sure since I'd been having braxton hicks for weeks. I told Patrick I thought this could be it, and we started timing the contractions. Eventually it became apparent that these weren't going away, that they were getting longer and stronger, and that I was in true labor. Patrick woke my family and let them know that this was it. He also called our midwife, who advised us to wait until the contractions were longer and a shorter time apart before heading in to the hospital.

Patrick made me a bubble bath and we rode out the early contractions. Around 4:30 am, they got to the point that my midwife had indicated would be a good time to head in. I figured after laboring at home for around 6 hours, that I was approximately half way, or a little less through the labor.

We arrived at the hospital and got set up in a room. I had already pre-registered and my midwife had called to let them know I was coming in so that part was easy. The nurse on call wanted to check me so she could let my midwife know how things were progressing. Like I said, I figured I was around a 5 or 6 cm dilation, or about half way there. She checked me and declared I was at 2 cm. I'm pretty sure I would have punched her in the face if I'd been able to.

She seemed ready to send me home as she figured this was false labor. Just to make sure, she did a test to check if, in fact, my water had broken. Sure enough, it had. This started the clock. Standard medical practice doesn't like the water to be broken for more than 24 hours before the baby is born. It can cause infection and possibly lead the baby into distress. So my midwife Cassie arrived, ready to get this baby born.

To Be Continued in Part 2....

39 Weeks and Why I Want A Natural Birth

Even before I found out that we were pregnant, I knew I wanted a natural, unmedicated childbirth. I've never been a fan of routinely taking medication, even Tylenol (which is apparently much more dangerous than most people think - see this and this). I did not think that my decision was very controversial. However, after 9 months of pregnancy, I can tell you that I was certainly wrong about that assumption.

I routinely get asked if I'm going to get "the drugs." When I respond, "nope, trying for a natural birth," the responses I get the most are "you're crazy" or "good luck with that." While I respect other people's thoughts and experiences on the subject, I'm starting to wonder why it seems like such a radical choice to most people, so I did a little digging.

A little more than three out of five of women chose an epidural (see this CDC study). Medical advances mean that getting an epidural is a fast and effective way to block the pain of labor for the mother. As the CDC report puts it, "this can lead to a more comfortable labor and delivery experience when compared with other forms of pain relief (e.g., systemic or local analgesia, Lamaze)."

What getting an epidural looks like.

However, there are side  effects associated with an epidural, including a longer labor, an increased chance of c-section (some reports show the chance of c-section increases up to 2.5 times after receiving an epidural), up to triple the likelihood of induction with Pitocin, and an increase the chance of instrumental delivery (no, that's not as awesome as it sounds). Not to mention the fact that you are paralyzed from the waist-down for whoever knows how long after receiving the epidural. I also won't even talk about a botched epidural (which happens more than you would think). 

Aside from all of the rather frightening information about epidurals, I have never been the type of girl to take the easy way out. I totally understand that there are some situations where having an epidural/other type medical intervention can be life saving to both the mother and child, for instance with a medically-necessary induction. In that case I absolutely understand the decision to have an epidural. However, as my pregnancy has so far been low-risk, I'm not anticipating that I will need such medical intervention (knock on wood) and therefore it seems to me that asking for an epidural would be taking the easy way out.

I just wish I could explain my reasoning for wanting a natural, unmedicated childbirth to people without feeling like Sasquatch or some other ridiculous freak of nature. 

Ludo Smash.

Maybe in the future I can just bust out the following list:

1. I am not afraid of pain. 
2. I actually want to experience childbirth (yes, pain included).
3. I survived and recovered from a brutal emergency abdominal surgery when I was 20 (and the subsequent life-changing diagnosis). I did not die or even experience an extreme amount of pain when I was 17, despite the fact that my appendix had been ruptured for a week. 
4. Because of my experiences, I believe in my body's natural ability to be awesome, despite extremely difficult situations.
5.  Based on the above, I also know that I have an extremely high tolerance for pain.
6. I enjoy things that are difficult, because the payoff is so much better than things that are easy. 
7. I believe that I will be able to perform better during the labor and therefore have an easier experience, if I am not numb from the waist down.
8. I believe it will allow me to have an intense and amazing bonding experience with my husband and my son.
9. Believe it or not, I am actually excited to experience the birth process, and I want to be as fully present as possible. 
10. Seriously. Experienced a fair amount of physical pain in my life. Really doesn't scare me.

Now some of you been there, done that moms might be thinking "wow she is really naive - just wait until she experiences it and she'll be singing a different tune." And you might be right. I know that labor/birth does not always go as planned. I absolutely do not judge women who chose to get an epidural for whatever reason. It's a well-practiced and safe medical procedure. I just know that given the choice, it is not for me. I wish that people could afford me the same respect in return instead of labeling me as "crazy."

In the mean time, I truly hope that I get the opportunity to experience birth the way that I want. But whatever happens in the end, as long as my son and I are both healthy, I will be happy.

Okay enough seriousness, here are this week's pictures. Figured we might want to include Patrick in these since they might be the last baby bump pictures we get to take (fingers crossed!).

Our best Christmas gift ever is on his way!

37 Weeks

Short post tonight since it's getting past my bedtime. Baby Grayson now weighs 6 1/3 pounds and measures a bit over 19 inches, head to heel. We're doing away with the fruit/veggie comparison now as we've gotten to the point where he is really just baby size. We've started weekly appointments with our midwife and officially preregistered at the hospital. Also getting the hospital bag packed just in case.

So excited to welcome this week's guest stars - Jason & Maleea! They both made it safe and sound and are now just trying to adapt to this crazy cold snap we're dealing with. Despite the cold, right after we took this week's photos, we went to the Christmas Stroll downtown Bozeman. Got some good chai, roasted marshmallows and looked at the pretty lights.

After we the Stroll, we took Jason and Maleea to the Bacchus for some drinks (hot cocoa for me) and curry fries. While we were there, I started experiencing some painful Braxton-Hicks contractions. They were definitely the most intense that I have experienced so far. It really made me realize that the labor won't happen on any type of schedule and that I just need to be mentally prepared at all times. 

Exciting things coming up this week - it's my last week of work before maternity leave starts and my mom arrives on Saturday!

Grayson's auntie and uncle are here to stay!

Ohana Means Family

I am so thankful this year. Thankful for a good job, to live somewhere beautiful and inspiring,  to have great friends whom I can count on. But most of all this year I am thankful for my family. My own little family will be growing by one this year. If that isn't exciting enough, in a matter of days my sister will be here to stay!

I moved to Montana in the summer of 2007. I knew no one, wanted to go to school for photojournalism, and Montana sounded like a romantic and wild place to live.

To help me meet people I joined the UM Symphony Orchestra, the UM Equestrian Team and, most importantly, the staff of the Montana Kaimin. I built myself a little family with the people I met through these pursuits. When I met Patrick and we got married, my Montana family got even bigger.

Despite the wonderful family I had made, I have always longed to be close to my family of origin again. My mom lives in Hawaii. My sister and my dad live in Oregon. A trip to Oregon is obtainable, but just far enough away to not be a regular occurrence. A trip to Hawaii is even more rare. 

So when my little sis came up to Montana for the wonderful baby shower she planned for Patrick & I, my thoughts were focused on convincing her to stay. I felt a very strong pull to have family together since my own little family is growing. I'm not sure what Patrick or I said that actually stuck (possible nothing, as Mr. Grayson can be very convincing as well) but something did because MY SISTER IS MOVING TO MONTANA!!!

Me and sis at the baby shower.

I am so overwhelmed with happiness and general joy. Thinking about doing holiday traditions together, hanging out on weekends, going to Yellowstone, watching her play hockey (?), and most importantly, her sure presence at Grayson's birth/the beginning of his life.

Not to mention the fact that she's bringing with her Mr. Jason Owens, boyfriend extraordinaire. I know Patrick is thrilled to have a funny, smart and football-savvy guy like him around (not to mention his knowledge of beer!) and I just can't wait to have them both close.

In the meantime, here are this weeks bumpdate photos (check out that beautiful sky!). Our baby is gaining about an ounce a day. He now weighs almost 6 pounds and is more than 18 1/2 inches long (about the size of some bok choy). Only a few weeks left!

35 Weeks

35 weeks down, five weeks to go. Although, I have a feeling that Grayson might be coming a little early—possibly coinciding with the full moon. The December full moon, called the Full Cold Moon, occurs on December 17th. This is exactly one week before my estimated due date. According to Farmer's Almanac: "The Full Cold Moon; or the Full Long Nights Moon is called such because during this month the winter cold fastens its grip, and nights are at their longest and darkest. It is also sometimes called the Moon before Yule."

Photo courtesy of Creative Commons @JrOlivera.com

According to popular belief and decades of folklore the lunar effect is real. However, there have been multiple studies done regarding the correlation of the moon and birth rates—none of which prove that there is any connection at all.

BUT...despite the lack of hard evidence, ask any labor & delivery nurse and they will tell you that the birth rate increases around a full moon. In fact when Patrick & I went to tour the hospital earlier this week, our tour guide, a labor and delivery nurse, told us that we could only look at one of the smaller birthing suites because all of the others were full due to the the full moon. So believe what you will, but if Grayson comes a week early I would not be surprised. 

While we are discussing the night sky, another really interesting thing happening right around Grayson’s birth is the arrival of Comet ISON. At least a million years ago, according to NASA, Comet ISON began its journey from the Oort cloud, a swath of icy objects that orbit far beyond Neptune.

Photo Credit: NASA, ESA, and the 
 Hubble Heritage Team (STScI/AURA)

ISON is set to pass closest to our sun on Thanksgiving Day. If it is able to survive this trip around our sun, we tiny earthlings will get to experience a rare view, as ISON will be visible to the naked eye all night long from late December to early January. ISON is predicted pass closest to the Earth on December 26th. If you're into astronomy like I am (and probably Grayson will be too, since his father is also a space-nerd), check out this cool calculator showing the distance of ISON from the sun, it's velocity, etc. So perhaps it is that fortuitous day on which Grayson will make his appearance and not a week earlier.  

But whatever day he arrives, I'm just so excited to meet him. Of course, as I've said before, I want him to stay put at least another 4 weeks. (Grow, baby, grow!) As you can see below, he certainly is. Measuring the over 18 inches long and tipping the scales at around 5 1/4 pounds  (the weight of a honeydew melon), Grayson is too big to somersault around in my tummy anymore. Luckily, as of our last appointment, he is head down so that's one less thing to worry about. Now he just needs to keep on growing!

Maternity Photos Sneak Peek

So no Bumpdate today. It was dark when I got home at 5:30 p.m. Daylight savings time is the worst. We will have to start shooting the Bumpdates on the weekends when there is actual daylight outside. In the mean time, here is a sneak peek of our maternity photos.

Thanks to the help of my wonderful friend Stacey, we went out a couple of weekends ago and took these maternity photos. It was a beautiful fall day and the Bridgers looked amazing. We had fun, even my camera-shy husband.

So here they are. Stay tuned later in the week for the 33 week Bumpdate (preview: Grayson doesn't just kick anymore, he does full-body rolls).

32 Weeks

Here we are 8 months down, two months to go. What's that, you say? You're only supposed to be pregnant for 9 months? Well I'm here to tell you, that's not exactly accurate. Pregnancies are considered full term at 40 weeks, and many women (including myself) count four weeks as a month while they are pregnant, making the result a ten month pregnancy. On average there are actually 4.33 weeks in a month, however that a third of a week tends to get lost in the sauce when counting down to full term.

There's actually been a recent study published that changes the definitions of full-term pregnancy. It used to be that doctors would induce pretty much anytime after 37 weeks. However, full term is now going to be considered 39-40 weeks. The reasoning behind this is that babies born even a few weeks early (or late) can have problems that are much less likely after 39 weeks.

So hopefully little Grayson will stay put for at least another 7 weeks. He'll gain a third to a half of his birth weight during that time, depending on what exactly he weighs right now, which should be around 3 3/4 pounds (about the weight of a bushel of apples).

31 Weeks

This week Grayson measures over 16 inches long – the length of a pineapple – and weighs about 3 1/3 pounds. He is heading into a growth spurt and moving around lot. By belly doesn't just bump now, it rolls. Some people, I won't name any names, say it looks straight out of when my tummy rolls around like that. Personally, I'm rather hypnotized by watching him move around. It comforts me to know that he is active and healthy. I think the growth spurt may have already started because I am SO tired. Like ready for bed right now at 8 pm tired.

Couple things before I head to bed. Had such a fun weekend. Went to the Rocky Creek Farm's pumpkin patch with Patrick, my good friend Stacey and her two little girls. Even though the pumpkin selection was rather sparse, we had a blast. Stacey's oldest daughter Dani wanted to try the Haunted Swamp (toned down during the day for little ones). It was mostly spooky decorations and spiderwebs, but at the end a teenager in a clown mask and chain saw popped out. I admit I was a little scared (REALLY don't like clowns). But Dani really didn't like him. The teenager saw that Dani was scared and stopped the chainsaw and pulled off his mask to show he was just a regular person. Stacey was holding her youngest, so Patrick picked up Dani and comforted her. It was so sweet to watch. Just reminded me of what a good dad he is going to be. So overall it was a fun trip. Plus I got some super sweet white pumpkins. Can't wait to carve them!

Then on Sunday, we went out to Stacey's in-law's farm in Belgrade and took maternity photos. I'm a super happy with how they came out! I'm going to wait until I get a few more edited to post the sneak peek but let's just say that the light was perfect and the Bridgers looked amazing, so we had a lot to work with.

30 Weeks

The number 30 is generally scary for someone who has yet to reach that milestone, age-wise. For me, however, it's never really been that scary. I know that I'll turn 30 in a couple years. Meh, no big deal. 

But this morning the number 30 kinda scared the dickens out of me. Our baby boy is now 30 weeks old. That means there are only 10 weeks left until he is born. If he is born exactly on time. There may be less (or possibly a little more, but I don't think so). For those of you not too keen on math, that's a little over two months until he is here. 

I'm not going to lie, that caused a little bit of a panic attack this morning. There is so much left to do. I'm so thankful for our baby shower and all of the wonderful support we received from friends and family. Many of the large items we need are taken care of now, just need to be set up. But I still feel like there a thousand lose ends to get ready. I suppose this is partially (totally?) because I am a first time mom and have never experienced this process before.

But, as a good friend pointed out to me this morning, I am a planner. I like to have schedules and agendas and a good sense of what is going to happen in the near-distant future. And that is difficult, to say the least, when you add a new, completely uncontrollable element (like, for example, a baby). So right now I am focusing on taking deep breaths and TRUSTING that everything will be okay. We’ve talked a lot about trust in our childbirth class (going to blog about that next week after our final class) and I just need to keep reminding myself to do just that. 

In the mean time, here are this weeks stats. Our baby boy is now almost 16" long - the length of a cucumber and weighs in at around 3 pounds.  He responds to light, but his vision won't fully develop until after he is born.