I think it’s fair to say that when it comes to doing Christmas mixes, I’m scarred by one I did previously.
I’ve probably told this story before; if I have, sorry, feel free to skip on to the tunes. If not, then read on.
When I still flat-shared, with Hel and a couple of randoms, knowing my love of preparing a playlist, I was charged with providing the music to soundtrack our Xmas do. The remit was simple: we’re going to get drunk, we want Xmas songs to sing and dance to whilst that happens.
Now, Xmas songs broadly fall into two categories:
- Hoorah! It’s Christmas!!! Let’s get shit-faced!! and
- It’s Christmas, let’s pause and reflect and be all meaningful and stuff,
I spent hours scouring t’internet for suitable tunes, figuring the moody reflective stuff would serve as punctuation, allowing us to sit down amongst the party poppers and pulled crackers and have a bit of a breather after the relentless knees-up and conga-ing from the livelier tunes.
Having sorted some five hours worth of tunes, alas I ran out of time to actually structure the playlist. But hey! I thought, that’s what the shuffle function is for!
Cue the most unmitigated disaster of a Xmas party ever, as shuffle chose to pick out every miserable, blue blue Christmas-esque tune on the playlist, without even the slightest sniff of Shaky, the briefest bit of Boney M or nod towards Noddy. I think we were all in bed by 10:30.
Mindful of this, this week’s mix is Christmassy, but split into two sections: the usual slow burners at the start, followed by Party Time! (with a teensiest little dip back into the slow burners again…you’ll see why…).
Oh, and those of you still playing Whamaggedon!, fret not, Last Christmas doesn’t feature. (If you know, you know…at the time of writing, I’ve still not heard it….)
I’ll shut up and just get on with it, shall I?
Here’s some Christmas songs to rock your Christmas world: some old classics, some cover versions, some uncovered originals, all designed to get you in a Christmas kinda mood (eventually):
Friday Night Christmas Club 2023
- LCD Soundsystem – Christmas Will Break Your Heart
No. I know. Not a band that you’d expect to find has done a Christmas record. It’s reliably, morosely, ace though.
2. Smith & Burrows – When the Thames Froze
That’s Tom Smith of Editors fame, and Andy Burrows of Razorlight…er…fame. This came out in 2011, and is included here because it’s lovely, but also because of a lyric which, sadly, remains topical – probably more so than it did at the time – 12 years later:
Goddamn, this government
Will they ever tell me where the money went?
Protesters march out on the street
As young men sleep amongst the feet
3. Laura Marling – Goodbye England (Covered In Snow)
I’m sorry. I can’t forgive her for being at least partly responsible for the rise of the execrable Mumford & Sons, no matter how many songs as goddamn wonderful as this she releases.
It sounds nothing like it, but I’m strangely reminded of Kate Bush’s wonderful Christmas song.
4. Isobel Campbell & Mark Lanegan – Time of the Season
It’ll pick up soon, I promise. Until then, here’s the 21st century’s Nancy & Lee, doing what they do best. This pops up on Hawk, their third and final album (it’s extremely unlikely there will be a fourth…), which in case you’re interested is way better than their second album Sunday at Devil Drive, but nowhere near as good as their debut Ballad of the Broken Seas. But then, very little is.
5. Tracey Thorn – Tinsel and Lights
Typically gorgeous stuff from the former Everything But The Girl girl singer. I don’t think I need to elaborate, do I? I hate the phrase “does what it says on the tin”, but it is annoyingly appropriate here. It’s Tracey Thorn being Christmassy – what do you expect it’s going to sound like, other than gorgeous?
6. Linda Lewis – Winter Wonderland
Linda sadly passed away earlier this year. She’s probably best known here in the UK for three things (if that many): 70s singles Rock-a-Doodle-Doo, her version of Betty Everett’s The Shoop Shoop Song (which was later made even more famous by Cher), and for providing the vocals on Midfield General’s lovely Reach Out, which you can hear here.
7. Pastor T.L. Barrett and The Youth for Christ Choir – Jingle Bells, Pt. 1
A couple of weeks ago, in the middle of the day, there was a knock at my door. I was expecting a delivery, so I answered. Bargain Hunt can always be paused. It turned out it wasn’t the purchases I was waiting for, but some chap who was doing a poll about the nation’s radio listening habits. I agreed to participate for three reasons: firstly, because I got the impression that not many others had (he seemed genuinely surprised someone had answered the door so he had chance to use his rehearsed and relentlessly jovial patter); secondly, I’ve never known anyone who was asked to do this kind of thing, and when I see the results of some survey or other, I often find myself thinking: ‘Who the bloody hell did they ask to get that result?’; and thirdly because I’m aware that certain BBC radio stations – primarily 6Music – are constantly under threat of the axe. Maybe I can be of some help, thought I.
The only problem: I rarely, if at all, listen to the radio these days.
I was tasked with logging my daily listening routine for the following week. I didn’t want to make my responses up, so I made the effort to engage.
Why am I telling you this? Because on one of those days, the ever-lovely Lauren Laverne played this thing of gospel beauty, and I simply had to track it down to include here. You’re welcome (and thanks Lauren!)
8. The Northern Soul Orchestra – Christmas Is Sooner Than You Think
You’ll hopefully have noticed the pace is picking up now, albeit slowly. I was really pleased when I found that lurking amongst all of the Northern Soul compilation albums I’ve downloaded (legally) recently, was this corker. My only gripe? I think that Christmas is on Monday. I’ve checked my calendar and everything. It definitely is.
9. The Ronettes – Sleigh Ride
Right, if you haven’t already, then crank the volume up. More than any other, this is the song that, to me, means Christmas is here, which is why it’s the one of only two songs (I think) to feature in both playlists (last year and this). Lifted from the greatest Christmas album ever (NOW Christmas doesn’t count, and still isn’t as good anyway), A Christmas Gift For You From Phil Spector, it’s a much nicer gift than, say, shooting actresses in the face.
Altogether now: Ring-a-ling-a-ling-a-ding-dong-ding!
10. Emmy The Great & Tim Wheeler – Marshmallow World
Emmy and TimfromAsh were a couple when they released their This Is Christmas album – from which this cover of the Darlene Love classic comes – back in 2011. No idea if they’re still together, and not especially interested either. This isn’t Heat magazine. What does interest me is how they managed to Wizzard this one up. You’ll see what I mean.
11. Girls Aloud – I Wanna Kiss You So (Christmas in a Nutshell)
Christmas wouldn’t be Christmas without The Girls. Here they are getting all romantic in the snow, and managing to outdo The Ronettes in the nonsense lyrics stakes.
Bish Bash Bong Whoo! indeed. Wise words, mate-esses.
12. The Raveonettes – The Christmas Song
Foot off the gas for a moment, but don’t worry, things will pick up again shortly. Despite it’s title, this isn’t that one about chestnuts roasting on an open fire (you’re standing too close to it, mate. And put some strides on for Pete’s sake). I needed an “…and relax…” song to lead into the next tune, and this little beauty from Danish duo Sune Rose Wagner and Sharin Foo fits the bill perfectly.
13. Shane MacGowan & The Popes – Christmas Lullaby (Version #1)
Sure, it sounds like a rejected album track from his days with The Pogues, but that doesn’t make it any less special. A reminder of the talent we lost this year. And that it’s Christmas in Palestine.
14. The Fall – Jingle Bell Rock
And we’re off again! Somehow it just seemed right to stick Shane next to Mark E Smith. It’s not exactly universally loved by fans of The Fall, this, but Friday night on Oxford Street/Walking with green M&S bags/Join them up with old beef and sprouts always raises a smile around these parts.
15. The Dickies – Silent Night
See, they didn’t just do that cover of The Banana Splits theme tune.
16. Sultans of Ping – Xmas Bubblegum Machine
Told you things would pick up again, right? Here’s the Sultans with their ode to that most Christmassy of artefacts (ahem): the bubblegum machine.
17. Shonen Knife – Space Christmas
The two tunes which made it on to both Christmas mixes I’ve done (the last was in 2021) are simply my favourite Christmas records ever. This should be one of yours too. Simplistic oddball Christmas cheer: awesome.
18. Saint Etienne feat. Tim Burgess – I Was Born On Christmas Day
It doesn’t happen often, but I’ve done some research: National Treasure Tim ws born on 30th May. St Etienne singer Sarah Cracknell, was born on 12th April. Bandmate Pete Wiggs entered this world on 15th May. Liars.
Oh wait…other bandmate (and hero to pretty much every muso I know) Bob Stanley actually was born on 25th December.
As you were.
19. The Polyphonic Spree – Happy Xmas (War Is Over)
If you don’t stop and think about it, this is a lovely, hopeful and positive way to round things off. But if you do happen to stop and think about it, you realise that it’s not a Christmas record at all: it’s an anti-war song with a Christmas message and some jingly bells tagged on to give it commercial clout. Not that there’s anything wrong with anti-war songs, of course. It’s just that if the last couple of years have taught us anything, it’s that war most definitely is not over.
War might not be over, but this mix is.
More soon. Merry Christmas.
A History of Dubious Taste 