this is a community like r/AmITheAsshole except unlike that subreddit here you can post interpersonal conflicts, anything that's AITA but is not allowed there even posting about Scar from the lion king and trying to convince redditors that he was not the AH. rules: don't berate others and no pornography we have children here
Husband (41) and I (38f) have two children. Our daughter Rachel (15) and our son Tim (13).
Since forever I am begging my husband to do more around the house but he continues to be a lazy man child. He does the bare minimum when I force him and that’s it. And our son is learning from him. Not doing his chores, not cleaning up his messes and expecting his sister to cater him. Hubby is enabling him and secretly overrules me when I punish Tim. We had more than one argument because of their laziness.
Yesterday I was shopping with Rachel and we met a friend from work and her boyfriend. So I called my husband and asked him and Tim to clean the house asap because I will bring guests. When we arrived home nearly two hours later the house was a mess. I never felt so embarrassed in my life. My friend smiled and downplayed it as normal but I was able to see the looks she exchanged with her bf. We chatted for 20 minutes after I cleaned the living room a bit and then they left.
I finally had enough. I told both hubby and Tim to get the f out of my house and don’t come back until they learn to respect me and be helpful around the house. We had a bad argument and in the end they gave up and left. My son has called me since from the motel where he and hubby are staying and begged me to let him back in. I told him he can ask me in 2024 again and I might consider it. They are banned for christmas (family will gather in my house this year) and New Year’s Eve. Tim will then return, hubby I am not sure yet.
My mom and my sister are against this. They think I am way to harsh, especially to Tim. But I think he needs are serious wake up call and this will be it. And I don’t give an f about hubby at this point.
AITA?
EDIT: the text says clearly Tim WILL return home!!!! This is just a wake up call for him. Maybe he can even return for christmas if he promises to do his chores conscientious from now on.
Quick update: my son called me again. I explained the situation and what I expect from him. He agreed to sign a paper where all his chores will be listed. He also agreed to help his sister with all her chores until New Year’s Eve. I will pick him up tomorrow. Didn’t talk with my husband.