I'm caught in a time loop, people . . .

Tried to explain the wonders of childhood Toast Toppers to the family in lockdown, and they just weren't buying it. It appears my descriptive powers are not as shit hot as I first thought. It didn't help that I also fell on my arse trying to describe a top cooker grill to them . . . 'You mean, it's like a broiler?' No, it's not a bastard broiler.

In exasperation, I dove into the internet, hoping to find a half decent pic of Toast Toppers in all its  last century glory but all I found was a thread from 2013 on Urban75 where people were shitting all over Toast Toppers. And, yep, I was in the middle of said thread, trying to defend the wonders of Toast Toppers. I'm living in a fucking time loop, people. No wonder I'm coping better than most with this lockdown repetition b/s.

Some of the better quotes from that 2013 thread. (I've removed the user-names, to ensure that the guilty are protected despite their snacking sins.):

• "It's a shame each variety looks like puke on toast.”
• “they look like a tramps vomit and taste like hells own armpit.”
• “Truly vile shit in a tin - even back in the day when they were the pinnacle of modernity."

And this particular contribution won the internet that day:

• "This is probably the most incisive class analysis thread on Urban. Love = working class Hate = middle class No fucking idea what you're talking about = ruling class."

A World Cup post . . .

Nicked from Urban 75:

My life . . .

 . . . yours too, probably.

The Gif That Keeps on Giffing

What do you get when you cross over death metal with trip hop?

Monday Toonage #10

As soon as I heard this song on Urban 75 the other day - via this viralling video - I always knew this was going to be this week's Monday Toonage, but a few silly spats on Facebook about nothing - politics, since you're wondering - and Fusspot and Drama taking turns at being sick and taking time off school, means that I need this joyous song more than ever. Monday Toonage turning into everyday of the week Toonage. (Neither Kara, nor the kids, approve.)

Maybe it was because of the above linked video, but I did initially think it was some lost Northern Soul classic from back in the day but a google search put me right, and I once again realised how out of touch I am with music released in the last five years. Usually me wallowing in back catalogues doesn't distress me too much, but the thought that I'm missing out on wonderful music like this because I'm not going out of my way to listen to newish music makes me rather miserable. Relying on occasionally stumbling across  good new music via a 30 second snippet of a good song on a quality tv drama is really not going to help me if I spend 2014 catching up on Downton Abbey, Call the Midwife and the 217 tv adaptations of Jane Austen novels in the last 15 years. I need a plan of action and, yet, why I think out of that I immediately think of the mod revivalists Secret Affair from thirty-five years ago. I need a hip nephew and niece somewhere, anywhere, to make me mixtapes but first I'll have to explain to them what a mixtape is.

Back to the toonage . . . the spurious point of this post. The song selected - which you'll already know if you clicked on the link above - is Pharrell Williams' Happy. Joyous and wonderful, and I still feel that despite the fact that apparently it's from a kids film. The gimmick is that he made a 24 hour video of the song, which involves hourly segments on YouTube kicking off with Pharrell performing the song for four and a bit minutes and then it being given over to various people shaking their stuff to the song on loop. From what I've seen, it works, but that's because it's one of those songs that when you first hear it, you want to play it over and over again. Get back to me six months from now to see if I'm still waxing lyrically about it.

The video embedded below is the official cut version of the video, which is a selection of various Pharrell performances, and sundry others lip-synching away like good ones, strutting their stuff and Jimmy Kimmel doing a brilliant impersonation of the stiffest white guy on this planet and a thousand other undiscovered planets peppered across the universe:

As it is a 24 hour video, another wee link for your consideration. Of course, I haven't watched all 24 hours but this particular performance/interpretation caught my eye of those that I have seen. Some great moves in the clip . . . and wee boy's good as well.

And the aforementioned "silly spats on Facebook about nothing", well, as long as I remind myself of this cartoon everyday that I choose to venture on the internet, then I'll be ok. Fine and beano, in fact:

'I'll have that veggie smoothie to go, please'

Craziness on the streets of Hanoi, Vietnam:



Hat tip to a bod over at Urban 75.

Monday Toonage #3

This week's choice was inspired by 'The Forgotten Eighties' thread over at Urban 75. The Mersey Mouth's finest three and a half minutes:

Gold

Via 'Sweet FA' over at Urban 75.

Elvis has left the building . . .

 . . . to grit the roads.




Hat tip to 'Clint Iguana' over at Urban 75.

It would also work as a great heckle

OK, I know it's a cheap shot but a funny bit of graffiti, nonetheless.

Snaffled off of Urban 75's 'I'm on ur boardz, wasting ur bandwidthz' thread.

I need a Doctor's note.

Absolutely love it.

Hat tip to 'Idris2002' over at Urban 75.

What was that?

Bungpuss Bagpuss and Arse Face struck a deal

A plus B means that someone's stolen a march on Private Eye this week :

Hat tip to some wag over at Urban 75 for the picture.

Lulzchester #2

Via Urban 75:

"Just heard that the Manchester clubs are jointly releasing a fragrance for Christmas: Channel No.5."

That Star Trek post the blog has always needed

Hat tip - or head nod? - to 'Krink' over at Urban 75.

Sideshow Goal

Absolutely wonderful goal by Santos's Neymar that was only tarnished by the sight of his bloody awful haircut.

Happy ending, though. A Flamengo inspired Ronaldinho battled back from 3-0 down for a 5-4 victory against Pele's old mob.

If you're not a Alan Hansen wannabe with a dodgy ticker, the goal highlights and defensive lowlights are at the following link.

Hat tip to 'Monkeygrinder's Organ' over at Urban 75.

Sunk by the Belgrano

A phlegmatic River Plate fan accepts their first ever relegation in the club's history with a restrained good grace.

My father-in-law speaks Spanish. Maybe I should send him the link to ask for a line by line translation?

Hat tip to 'Chip Barm' over at Urban 75.

dancing ninja

'Gosh, Talulah, let's kill her.'

Forget all your fuzzy feelings about those Malory Towers books you read as a kid; Enid Blyton had a mean streak in her when she didn't have her morning coffee:

Hat tip to 'dylans' over at Urban 75 for the very funny image. (S/he posted it on a thread on evolution.)
I wanted to see where the image originated from so that I could see if there were any other cartoons of a similar ilk, but the link to the gif leads you ultimately to this website.
Surely that can't be right?

Nothing to Braga about

Before you groan too much at my piss poor pun in the post title, get your laughing gear around this tribute to Arsenal from . . . ahem, The Away Boyz.

You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll swear that it's so awful that all involved must be season ticket holders at White Hart Lane.

And did you spot the 'celebrities' in the video? Peter Hugo Daley (Mick the drummer from Breaking Glass); Lee Whitlock (it's a few years since Shine On Harvey Moon); and was that Charlie Creed-Miles on the drums in the pub? I guess Spike Lee was washing Nick Hornby's hair that day.

Hat tip to 'Fedayn' over at Urban 75 for the blood now pouring from both my eyes and my ears.