Why not?

Why not vote for me in the Sydney Writers' Centre Best Blog Competition?

Am I right?

I'm right, right?

You'd be voting for a blog that:

- is number one in the world in regards to how-not-to-be-a-rapist tutorials

- has more blasphemy per square centimetre than all industry leaders

- is as cute as a button

- uses no child labour

- makes your breasts firmer and more inviting if read daily.

Vote now!

Or don't!

It's really up to you!

It is not my place to be prescriptive!

But vote now!

Unless you don't want to!

!!!!

No, REALLY Hitting the Big Time

There are many kinds of success in this world.

There's financial success. There's career success. There's the success of raising a healthy, loving family.

But all of these are as scraps of pig slops to a strawberry cheesecake when compared to being publicly thanked by Andrew Bolt.

The fact that he later found out who I actually was, and is no longer even slightly positively-dispositioned towards me, does not diminish the honour. Neither does the fact he never really regarded me with any gratitude in the first place. Unfortunately the details are private. I'll tell you at the bar.

Incidentally, Bolt eventually did acknowledge the rather obvious error that in that post he had refused to acknowledge. I mean, he sort of acknowledged it. I mean, "I was wrong" is an acknowledgment, even if the post itself ends up being "I was wrong but still much more right than anyone else".

By the way, "reader TQS", Bolt may have thanked you, but you will never have what he and I have. It is special.

And then, of course, he has his "final last thought" (ooh, promise?) on the subject. Not quite sure what he's doing here. A few different options?

1. Bolt is suggesting that Pope Pius XII would have had his head cut off if he'd spoken out against the Holocaust.

2. Bolt is suggesting that because Dawkins won't speak out against Islamofascists, he is morally equivalent to someone who won't speak out against the Holocaust. He does this by referencing a quote wherein Dawkins speaks out against Islamofascists. He could have picked any quote of many, really. Dawkins slams Islamic extremists all the time.

3. By referring to Richard Dawkins as "the atheist al-Qaeda", Bolt is suggesting that promoting a petition asking for someone not be made a saint is morally equivalent to threatening to cut someone's head off.

You decide. I guess.

Today's homework: In 1000 words or less, compare and contrast the labelling of a Nazi-supporting Pope "Pope Nazi" with the labelling of an atheist scientist "atheist al-Qaeda". Extra points for those students who accurately ascertain the relative levels of barbarism present in each.

Incidentally, a round of applause for Bolt's work ethic: he started blogging at 7:01 am and didn't stop till 12:09 pm. You can't deny he's prolific. And if you did he'd call you a terrorist.

Do I never STOP?

I know this blog excites you, and I know you go all gooey over Gather Around Me, the blog and podcast I co-host with Cam Smith.

But imagine if I had ANOTHER blog to thrill you all with!

And imagine if that blog were devoted to reviews of movies that don't actually exist, but which should!

Wouldn't that be amazingly wonderful?

YES, I imagine you are screaming loudly, startling family and co-workers.

HERE IT IS! Make This Movie, a blog for people who watch movies and believe there is a better way.

First review on the site: Random Acts Of Blindness, starring Jeff Bridges

Enjoy! Then come back here and enjoy some other stuff!

The Rue McClanahan Hour

The first Rue McClanahan Hour on Triple R, hosted by myself and Cam Smith, went off without a hitch, unless you count Cam's awful taste in music and his ignorance of Brittany Murphy's career trajectory.

You DO NOT want to miss the next episode, as it will be the one in which we:

a) reveal our secret identities, and

b) party with hot chicks

It's laughter, it's banter, it's wondrous tales of magic and incredibleness, it's occasional swearing and a burgeoning bromance that warms the cockles of the heart and vice versa.

You can listen to it on 102.7FM in Melbourne, and worldwide you can listen to it at http://www.rrr.org.au.

Or go to http://gatheraroundme.libsyn.com, which is where the podcast of the first show (sans music) is right NOW, and where future episodes will be posted as they arrive. That's also, of course, where you can download all previous Gather Around Me podcasts, and bonus tracks. Keep up to date on GAM and RMH news by checking out Cam's and my joint blog, http://gatheraround.me. But of course you're all devoted enough to know this already.

Don't forget, The Rue McClanahan Hour, Mondays in January, 7pm Australian Eastern Daylight Time and so forth. Go listen, sweetcakes.

Why am I in this business?

For the fans.

Feel free to invoice me for the time it takes you to read this blog post, although I should warn you I may bill you for the time I take to read your invoice.

Check It

A new article by me on newmatilda, exploring the fall of Peter Costello and why it's so unimportant to everyone.

Also, done some refreshing of the links at the side, updating the visible articles and upcoming performances etc.

And on that note, do mark down July 23 in your diaries, because that's when I'll be on for ONE NIGHT ONLY at Blue Velvet in Collingwood.

I refuse to watch it myself, but if you want to...

Me and Christian Lander at the SWF.

Happy 100th Post!

It's been a long, hard struggle, full of heartache, tears, and forgetting of passwords, but today we celebrate the World of Objects' 100th post. Milestones like this don't come along every day - well, they do, but not on this particular blog - and it makes me feel that it's all been worthwhile to know that after just 100 posts, I have amassed a readership that, assuming nobody is trying to spare my feelings, numbers in the mid-to-high single digits.

So now is a time to think back on the good times, mull over our favourite memories on the blog, and, I don't know, eat some cheese or something.

Update

You may have noticed a new segment on the side of this blog, under the heading Live!

This is to let you know where I'll be performing or making appearances in the near future. So if you were sitting at home saying, "I really really want to go see Ben in all his fleshy, ill-fitting-jacketed glory, but I have NO IDEA where to go!" you could simply log on, check the blog, and be informed of my every movement.

Seriously. Apart from those gigs, I don't move at all.

Where did THAT come from?

Andrew Bolt is angry about sharks. So are his commenters. So angry about sharks are they that they express it in the time-honoured way - by calling me a mental retard. It's tight down the bottom of the first page, which is convenient.

I suppose it's kind of a privilege that out of all the leftist scum he could have name-checked, he chose ME!

Q&A;

Hey, why hasn't Ben been blogging lately?

Why, it's because he's just become the father of twins and has little else to talk about!

Oh. Will he be back soon?

Sure as sure can be, good buddy!

Oh.

Do you want to know a secret?

Ever wanted to know all about inner workings of the mysterious and erotic world of performance poetry?

BEHOLD! All is revealed in the most searingly revelatory blog since this one.

Add it to your list, you won't want to miss a minute.

The Last Shall Be First

And so, this is a blog, in its own way. The first post of a new blog is always a bit awkward, isn't it? You find yourself thinking, "Should it be a simple greeting, should it just be an amusing picture of a cat, or should I hit them straightaway with the full force of my scathing critique of the World Trade Organisation?" In a way, I am attempting all three, although in another way, I'm attempting none of them.

The main point I wish for you to absorb is that this IS a blog, and I will be putting things on it which you can look at, and you can tell all your friends about it and secretly lust over me and so forth. If you're here reading this, it's probably because you already, to some extent, either like or dislike me, so hopefully I can sustain your interest.

So without further ado, let me present benpobjie.blogspot.com's FIRST-EVER LINK!

Which is this: in case you haven't yet read it, my latest scurrilous attack on decent people here.

And with that out of the way, please leave comments below on the theme of one of the following:

- Hi!

- I love you!

- Here is what I want from a blog

- I have lots of money would you like some?

Bye for now.