Thursday, November 23, 2023

Sixty

From The North bloggerisationisms time is, once more, upon us dearest bloggerisationism fiends. Keith Telly Topping welcomes you all to his humble Fortress of Solitude where you can, as usual, hear him whinge, at length about his bad back and admire the scenery. Some things, it would seem, never changeth.
Exactly sixty years ago this very week, the greatest TV format in the history of the medium (bar none) began on the BBC to brighten up a drab, miserable rainy November Saturday evening in Britain as the nation collectively mourned some bloke on The Grassy Knoll getting off a lucky shot. We all needed a bit of cheering up that evening and, by heavens, didn't we get it, though? But, enough about The Chars starring Elsie and Doris Waters. much has already been said and written. There was also some old toot about a madman in a box which started that night, apparently. Wonder whatever happened to that nonsense.
Yes, dear blog reader, this blogger has told that joke before (exactly one year ago, to be precise). Just as he has also, previously, explained in great detail what went on with the other great love of his life that very afternoon (a three-one win at home to Manchester City as it happens).
Meanwhile, across town at The City Hall ... A very severe spanking with a wet plimsole will be awarded to anyone suggesting they'd've only gone to see Peter Jay & The Jaywalkers and left during the interval before all the screaming started.
Did you know, dear blog readers ...
Mind you, this blogger still isn't sure about the casting for the rumoured reboot of Last of The Summer Wine.
Next, this blogger wishes to point all dear blog readers in the direction of one of his favourite history vloggers, the delightful Jenny Draper and a fine exemplar proving that You Tube isn't just for videos of cat playing pianos, Americans reacting the 'weird British stuff', opinionated chaps telling you what's wrong with football these days and opiniated chaps telling you what's wrong with Doctor Who these days. Oh, dear me, no. It's also excellent for Debunking Boomer Meme myths. Of which there are thousands. Ideally, debunking them the more sarcastically the better. This, dear blog reader, is how you take down unsubstantiated, historically-inaccurate claims that, to paraphrase the late Freddie Trueman, 'it weren't like that in t'maaaaa day.' Millennial dear blog readers, you must not become like us terrible old farts. Cash-in your intergenerational envy today and use the coupon code 'Health & Safety Gone Mad' for a free 'I'm Woke & Effing Proud Of It' t-shirt. Good on ya.
The Be-Atles (a popular beat combo of the 1960s, you might've heard of them), on the back of suddenly being Toppermost of the Poppermost all over again have launched an 'official' Christmas jumper ahead of the festive season. Oh, Apple - you kill me. I mean, literally. Oi, put yer shoes on, mate, it's snowing - you'll get chilblains.
So, dear blog reader, at 5:15pm on 23 November 1963, the first episode of Doctor Who was broadcast on the BBC. You probably knew that. Exactly sixty years on, the show is celebrating its diamond anniversary with three new hour-long specials starting this weekend. You might have also heard about those. For many fans, they are particularly special because they feature the return of David Tennant, who left the series in 2010. His Doctor has, arguably, been the most popular with audiences since the show returned in 2005 (albeit, not with this blogger's fiend Jan who gurns at the very mention of his name. But, she likes Matt Smith so that's all right). 'To get to return to something that meant so much fifteen years ago and was such a huge part of my life, was something I never really imagined was likely,' said national heartthrob David. 'To be The Doctor again, what a treat!' He's joined once again on-screen by Catherine Tate's Donna Noble. Again, you've probably heard about that, too. Viewers familiar with her storyline will know that The Doctor wiped her memory, warning her family that if she ever remembered him, she would die. 'Being back on-set with Catherine of course, we had such a great time all those years ago,' Tennant added. 'A lot of the team were back together, it felt very, very familiar.' For many, Big Rusty coming back to oversee the show was an even bigger surprise than Tennant's return. Since leaving Doctor Who in 2010, he's written a variety of acclaimed dramas, most notably 2021's It's A Sin for Channel 4. His previous time on Doctor Who was so successful - does he feel some nervousness because of the weight of such audience expectation? 'I know what you mean,' Davies replies. 'People said to me, can lightning strike twice? But actually, if you stand in the middle of a storm, and hold up a great big piece of metal, lightning does strike you twice. All this show needs is to be good, to be fun, to be well cast, to be exciting, to be brilliant. And that's really missing in the schedules, I think, at the moment. I dare not say I'm confident. But I'm proud of what we've done. And I hope it works.'
When it was first announced that David Tennant and Catherine Tate would be returning to Doctor Who for its sixtieth anniversary, fans' minds started racing - when were these new episodes going to be set? How did they fit into the timeline? How could The Doctor and Donna be back together given the events of The End Of Time? Many of those questions were answered during Jodie Whittaker's final episode, The Power Of The Doctor, in which her Doctor regenerated (or, possibly, degenerated) into David Tennant, confirming that he would be playing the Fourteenth Doctor, rather than the Tenth (or, tenth-and-a-half counting the one currently living in an alternate universe with Rose Tyler). However, it seems this wasn't always going to be the case, as David revealed to Radio Times (which used to be run by adults) that Russell Davies originally planned for a flashback episode starring Tennant and Tate, set during series four. David explained: 'It would have been an unseen adventure from years before. Russell immediately had an idea for a story, which I'm not going to mention because I don't think it's yet seen the light of day. It certainly wouldn't have been part of an ongoing story. But I hope one day he does use it, because it sounded great.' Speaking with SFX recently, David also admitted that it would be 'disingenuous to imagine that I might never be asked [to play The Doctor] again, because history would indicate that it was always a possibility. I’m not going to say never, because I don't think anyone would believe me. That doesn't mean I know that I ever will. But I suppose until I can't run down a corridor, it's always a possibility. But I promise to have no plans.'
Of course, viewers got their first sight of the second coming of national heartthrob David in a five minute sketch broadcast as part of the BBC's annual Children In Need telethon on Friday 17 November (which may, or may not, have been called Destination Skaro). The clip saw Tennant accidentally crashing his TARDIS at the very genesis of the Daleks its very self (or, a genesis of the Daleks its very self, anyway) in something of a regenerative fog. Children In Need reportedly raised over thirty three million knicker for charrridee. This blogger thought it was rather good fun although, apparently, some Doctor Who fans have got their knickers right in a twist over whether or not it contradicts elements of a story first broadcast forty eight years ago. Doctor Who fans 'getting their knickers right in a twist', dear blog reader? What were the chances? As usual it was a straight toss of which do you find the most offensive; someone finding something that you don't, personally, offensive. Or, someone reacting to someone find something that you don't, personally, offensive and getting offended by that. There's the Twenty First Century right there in that one conundrum, dear blog reader. As this blogger wrote on Facebook: 'So, if I've understood this correctly (and please do let me know if I've got it wrong) "A man making a television show I like has done something that I don't like (for charrrridee). And so I intend to whinge, loudly, about it to anyone willing to listen. And, indeed, anyone that isn't." Wheel turns, civilisations rise ...' This blogger would also like to congratulate one James Gregory from the BBC News website who felt it necessary to explain to readers: 'Much like James Bond, the Doctor Who role is passed on from actor to actor, thus continuing the franchise. At the end of an actor's tenure as The Doctor, the character "regenerates" with somebody else then taking on the extra-terrestrial role.' Really? No shit? How have all of us managed to get through life this far without ever knowing that?
Mad Tom Baker has spoken about 'avoiding' other Doctor Who stars. Tom, of course, played the fourth Time Lord from 1974 to 1981 (you knew that, right) and is considered 'by many' (according to the Independent, if not a source somewhat more reliable) 'to be one of the best incarnations of the Doctor.' In a new interview with Radio Times (which used to be run by adults), Baker said: ;I avoid them, you know. Not with any malice. A degree of contempt, perhaps but mildly, mildly contemptuous.' And, of course, many newspaper under the sun (although, interestingly enough, not the Sun) then had a headline which suggested war amongst the Doctors. Take, for instance, the Evening Standard. And, the Torygraph. And, the Daily Mirra. And HuffPost UK. Tom did take a moment out from bad-mouthing his successors (and, by implication, predecessors) to give his reaction to seeing a photo of Ncuti Gatwa for the this time: 'Oh! Is this the next Doctor Who? A handsome young man! Marvellous cheekbones. These things are important as you get near to death.' Asked whether he felt as though there was anything Ncuti should know going into the leading role, Tom replied: 'Knowing anything is a bit dangerous when you play Doctor Who. It's better to know nothing. And to be good-natured. The trick is to respond generously to other actors, which halves your task because you don't have to be driving it all the time.'
There's a fascinating interview with Big Rusty in the latest The Big Issue discussing issues as diverse as queer representation and the demographics the Doctor Who format attracts which you can read, here. There are also extensive pieces on the return of the BBC's popular long-running family SF drama in (big intake of breath and in no particular order), the Independent, the Radio Times (which used to be run by adults), Entertainment Weekly and the Gruniad Morning Star. Another piece in the Independent (by Michael Horan) lists the author's favourite sixty 'episodes' (by which he means serials). It's actually quite a decent list featuring (rightly) nothing from Colin Baker, lots of Pat Troughton and, to this blogger's great surprise, his own favourite Doctor Who serial, The Aztecs. Good work, Michael (you should've had Kinda on the list, though).
There have also been - one imagines, spoiler-free - reviews of the opening episode, The Star Beast in (another deep breath), Inverse ('absolutely ludicrous in the best possible way'), the Radio Times ('Saturday night magic is back'), Collider ('a delightful adventure'), the HeyUGuys website ('a hoot') and Games Radar ('an exciting start to the sixtieth anniversary'). Dear blog readers are warned that whilst these five reviews contain little in the way of spoilers they are all discussing an episode that you haven't seen yet and so may reveal something you don't yet know and don't want to know in advance. Therefore, if you check any of them out and end up finding out something before watching the episode that you'd have sooner not known, don't blame anyone but yourself for being nosy!
The Doctor Who production team have teased fans with first - albeit, very brief - look at footage of Ncuti Gatwa with new companion Millie Gibson in a new video. Until now, viewers have only seen photos of the duo. However, the BBC treated fans to a short clip of the two in an upcoming scene from the new series on anniversary day, Thursday on X. In the minute long assemblage (Sixty Years In Sixty Seconds) after speeding through the fourteen previous Doctor Who actors (including, beautifully, Jo Martin and John Hurt), the last few seconds see Gatwa and Gibson in character, marking the fifteenth Doctor's coming and a new chapter ahead.
Russell Davies has reveals when Doctor Who's fifteenth series episodes will be broadcast. 'If I sound a bit hyper, it's because I just this morning delivered a Doctor Who script that will be on-air in May 2025,' Davies said. 'And it's brand new. It does things we've never done before. The writing really pushed me. It's such a mad episode, I had to deliver it with a diagram explaining what's going on! I've never had to do that in my entire life before.'
'Russell T Davies is bringing the first-ever Doctor Who back from the dead in the upcoming series,' reports the Daily Mirra (somewhat tastelessly but then, this is the Mirra we're talking about. They were a much more accurate newspaper when they hacked people's phones for stories). 'The showrunner has used technical wizardry worthy of a Time Lord to create scenes featuring William Hartnell, who died in 1975, alongside Ncuti Gatwa,' this piece of ... whatever the opposite of well-written journalism is. 'As he was honoured by GQ magazine at the Men of the Year ceremony, Ncuti revealed: "It has been a crazy year. I shouldn't say this but I shot a scene, somehow, with the first-ever Doctor, William Hartnell. We end up in the same scene together at some point. To see that history - now a Black man as The Doctor! It was just very wild."'
Hugh Bonneville and From The North favourite Karen Gillan are to star in a new ITVX comedy drama 'about cancel culture' written by The Lord Thy God Steven Moffat (OBE). To be broadcast next year, Douglas Is Cancelled will be The Moff's first television comedy in two decades. Filming begins shortly in London on the four-part series. It will be directed by The Inbetweeners' Ben Palmer and co-star Ben Miles, Nick Mohammed and Simon Russell Beale. Bonneville plays Douglas Bellowes, a respected newsreader and raconteur who loves the life he's created with his newspaper editor wife, Sheila (portrayed by Alex Kingston). Despite being an experienced broadcaster, greying, middle-aged Douglas surprisingly needs constant reassurance behind the scenes on Live At Six, from his sharper, younger, tech-savvy and social media-aware co-presenter Madeline (Gillan), who seems able to wrap him around her little finger. As, indeed, Kazza can do with most men. And many women, too. A national treasure who can seemingly do no wrong, Douglas enjoys his privileged status. Until, that is, he makes an ill-advised joke at his cousin's wedding, overheard by a fellow guest, who threatens to expose his comments on social media. Echoing the recent scandal surrounding Huw Edwards' suspension as the BBC's flagship news and events anchor this summer amidst accusations of misconduct, Douglas' alleged indiscretion is dissected, analysed and blown out of all proportion in the subsequent digital storm. 'Working again with a director like Ben, on Steven's acidly witty script, with an ensemble of this calibre, is as daunting as it is exciting' said Bonneville, who recently completed filming on The Completely Made-Up Adventures Of Dick Turpin for Apple TV+, in which he plays the Thief Taker General Jonathan Wilde. 'To torment a man, let alone a man named Douglas, for four episodes - armed with the writing of Steven Moffat - is a great privilege that I'm going to enjoy every minute of' added Kazza. Adding to the sense of a reunion, Miles previously starred in Moffat's BBC ensemble sitcom Coupling, with Jack Davenport, Gina Bellman, Sarah Alexander, Richard Coyle and Kate Isitt. That ran from 2000 to 2004 and was Moffat's final television comedy before his high-profile stints writing-producing Doctor Who and Sherlock, in a career that includes creating the BBC comedy Joking Apart, starring Robert Bathurst as a tortured stand-up comic. Most recently, he wrote the dark comedy play The Unfriend, which became Mark Gatiss's directorial debut in 2022, originally with a cast of Reece Shearsmith, Amanda Abbington and Frances Barber. The latter returns alongside Alexander and Lee Mack for its revival at the Wyndham's Theatre in London's West End next month. Steven executive produces Douglas Is Cancelled with his wife, Sue Vertue, for Hartswood Films.
Dear blog readers who have been following the lengthy saga of The Stately Telly Topping Manor Plague House Bathroom Refit (here and here) will be delighted to know that this blogger managed to hang the damn shower curtain his very self (at the second attempt, admittedly - and with a bad back an'all) without any need of outside assistance.
On Friday of last week this blogger awoke at 6am after something approaching a half-way decent night's sleep (virtually unique these days). Maybe it was finally having the bathroom sorted what did it! He was up at 6.30 and had a blissfully long hot shower (see, correlation may well be causation in this instance). Having applied much painkilling gel to his tortured back and down a couple of Ibuprofen®™, he had a shave, turned on the PC and downloaded and listened to From The North's favourite podcast, Kermode & Mayo's Take (and Take 2). This blogger then had some cereal and a nice steaming hot cup of sweet Joe for breakfast whilst replying to a couple of e-mails. That took us up to 8.30 and then ... he prepared himself to spend the rest of the way waiting for the arrival of incoming a new Dormeo orthopaedic mattress ordered weeks ago but which they'd decided to deliver that day, plus a couple of other packages. Of course, when the mattress arrived it was simply dumped on the doorstep by the delivery driver who then, quite literally ran back to his van as this blogger was getting himself downstairs to answer the knock. Thus, Keith Telly Topping was left with the job on somehow getting the damned thing up a flight of stairs. Which he did, with difficulty.
And, finally the BBC reports that an athlete has been banned for twelve months for using car during a race. One does, rather, hope they try that at the Olympics. Watching the hundred metres with eight Toyota Corolla's lined-up at the start has so much potential.

Monday, November 13, 2023

"The Department Of Baths, Them Be-Atles, Big Rusty & Bad Backs!"

Welcome, dearest bloggerisationism fiends, to the latest From The North update. And, we begin with an apology in advance. Due to several reasons (not least the weather having turned a bit nippy) this blogger's notoriously bad back has been playing up, somethin' fierce, during the past week. So, if any of the following bloggerisationism doings come over as needlessly aggressive, or sarky, or impolite, or mean, please be advised that this blogger isn't really like that at all. He's actually quite a likable chap. Well, some of the time, anyway. But, he is something of a martyr to his grumbling coccyx and is in quite a bit of pain as this bloggerisationism update is being compiled, so please bear with him. Backs run in our family, dear blog reader. Along with noses.
Indeed, an accurate description of this blogger's general mood over the course of the last couple of weeks may go something along these lines.
Moving, swiftly on to grumble number one: The Independent notes that both 'Last Christmas' and 'All I Want For Christmas Is You' have made an appearance in the lower reaches of the top forty this week. On 10 November. What do you think of that, Mister Nod?
Dear bloggerisationism readers clicking through to the Independent link will, of course, find that the actual headline of the story is that Them Be-Atles have only been and gone and done it again, haven't they? Topping (if you will) the UK singles chart sixty years after they first did it and fifty four years after their previous number one. Still record breakers, Them Be-Atles (a popular beat combo of the 1960s, you might've heard of them). Proving, one supposes that Roy Caste was, indeed, correct. Dedication, that's what you need.
Inevitably, one of this blogger's most treasured American fiends, Jan, misunderstood the curiously English syntax of this observation, instead claiming that love is, in fact, all you need. And that, thus, dedication contains too many syllables. This blogger reflected 'this may require an explanation involving an old British children's TV series hosted by Roy Castle. But ... trust me, it's not worth worrying about!'
However, that conversation did remind this blogger that he believes he is correct in saying 'Help!' is, almost certainly, the first rock and/or roll hit which includes two four syllable words in its lyrics ('appreciate' and 'independence'). Unless, of course, you know different.
So, dear blog readers, here's what happened. Sam Tyler gets hit by a car in 2023 and wakes up in 1973. 'What's it like where you come from?' asks Gene Hunt. 'There's a Tory government who hate immigrants and constantly indulge in victim-blaming. Families are struggling with a cost of living crisis caused, at least in part, because inflation is outstripping wages increases. The Rolling Stones have got the number one LP and The Be-Atles the number one single. The top four in the Football League are Liverpool, Arsenal, Manchester City and Spurs. Coronation Street and Doctor Who are on telly and the Israelis and the Arabs are at war.' 'Pretty much the same around here' notes Gene. 'How much does a pint of beer cost?' 'Four pounds, fifty seven.'
This blogger's good fiend Mark suggested that four pound fifty seven would be represent a very unlikely bargain in almost any London pub. 'That's the national average according to Google' replied this blogger. 'I fully appreciate that in the capital you need to re-mortgage your gaff to get a round in these days!'
Meanwhile, this blogger wanted to be the first to subtitle this recent photo of Sir Paul (MBE) and Sir Ringo (MBE) having dinner at Cavendish Avenue All Things Must Pasta Way. But, apparently, Keith Telly Topping was beaten to it. By everyone on the entire Interweb. Those mushrooms do look nice, though.
The previous From The North bloggerisationism update detailed, at some length, the - many - fun and games what had been going on at The Stately Telly Topping Manor Plague House with the installation of a new bathroom suite. Or, on some days, not going on. Monday of last week, for example, was another jolly frustrating day of waiting for workmen who didn't show up. It involved another cross phone-call to the always delightful Mia at the Department Of Baths about all these shenanigans (especially as this blogger had previously been contacted to specifically confirm they would be doing the flooring on that day). It was also another day with the plumber briefly coming out to fix the (admittedly small) wash basin leak, 'fixing' it and then, ten minutes later, it was leaking again (albeit, nowhere near as much as it had been previously). Necessitating a second call to Mia. 'Listen, sorry love, I'm not doing this deliberately, but ...' this blogger began, sadly. Finally, by about two o'clock, Keith Telly Topping'd had just about enough of sitting around the gaff feeling anxious so he left The Stately Telly Topping Manor Plague House to get the bus to Byker and do some necessary shopping at Morrisons. He also went into the pharmacy opposite to ask if they could recommend anything for painful sinus congestion (particularly at night) that was better than Vicks or Lemsip. Which, happily, they could (Sudafed). This blogger bought himself a whopping big beef prime topside joint (from Morrisons, this is, not from the pharmacy. They don't do meat as far as this blogger is aware). Which did us for Stately Telly Topping Manor Plague House dinners for the next four days (curries, sandwiches, et cetera). Keith Telly Topping also tried out the new furry boots he had bought the previous week which fitted well and seemed fine although, for a first time of wearing them, his achilleas were a bit sore by the time he got back home. As, indeed, was his back which was proper throbbing that day and hasn't let up ever since. This blogger is, sad to say, falling to bits dearest bloggerisationism fiends (see below for further, extensive, details). Getting old is really not recommended!
Shortly after he returned to his drum, this blogger received a call from Dan, Dan, the Department Of Baths man, claiming that both the floorer-type individuals and the painter 'should' be at The Stately Telly Topping Manor on Tuesday. Dan, Dan, the Department Of Baths man being, of course, the person who had assured this blogger that the floorers would be out on Monday in the first place. This blogger bit his lip until it bled on that particular issue and confirmed that he would be in all of Tuesday and most of the day after although he did have to go to yet another medical appointment for about an hour on Wednesday morning. 'You should be finished by the end of tomorrow' claimed Dan, Dan, the Department Of Baths man. Yer actual Keith Telly Topping merely chuckled, hollowly, at such crass over-confidence and wondered if he could get a sentence from the following words: 'See it', 'believe it', 'when I', I'll'.
To be honest, as this blogger told his dear Facebook fiends regarding this ongoing fiasco, the only issue this blogger had with the way this situation had panned out was nothing to do with the bathroom itself (Keith Telly Topping spends remarkably little time in there, per se). Rather, it'was that, because all of the stuff that was in the bathroom before this malarkey started was shoved Willy-Nelson into the kitchen, this blogger's life in there, was on hold. And this blogger does spend quite a bit of time in that particular part of The Stately Telly Topping Manor Plague House. Thus, Keith Telly Topping hadn't been able to do any washing for over a fortnight (he had, at that time, a basket full to overflowing of laundry waiting to go the second the path to the washing machine was clear again - thank God this blogger has an extensive and fashionable wardrobe). This blogger was able to cook, at least, but there was limited space so it had become a bit of a chore rather than, as it usually is, something he rather looks forward to. Using the microwave, which was situated behind much of the dumped bathroom fixtures and fittings, involved Keith Telly Topping turning into John Cleese doing a (very) silly walk over boxes and bric-a-brac (rather than spouting reactionary bollocks on GB News, he hastens to add).
The floor-layers and the Painter Man (The Creation's version rather than Boney M's obviously) came and went on Tuesday. For the latter that day was, basically, just to do the prep work for Wednesday's full paint job, some grouting and one small hole in the plaster which needed filling. This blogger gave the Painter Man the spare key just in case he arrived after Keith Telly Topping had left for his medical appointment. He seemed like a very nice lad and not the sort who would rob the gaff whilst this blogger was out. And, indeed, he didn't. But, he did finish the job off even if this blogger managed to add to his overflowing washing basket by getting white paint traces on at least a couple of the items of clothing that he was wearing that afternoon.
Thursday and this blogger waited in all day, again, for these sodding people to come round and finish off the last knockings of the bathroom replacement. There was yet another call to the lovely Mia and this blogger was told that he should have someone - called Keith, interestingly - round to do an audit later that afternoon and a couple of chaps in on the Friday, once the paint had dried, to put the cabinet and sundry other items things back from the kitchen. So, with that in mind, Keith Telly Topping spent the morning playing 'Free As A Bird', 'Real Love' and 'Now & Then' in heavy rotation. Because he could. And, in doing so, this blogger reinforced certain opinions which he'd held (and, marginally changed others).
'Free As A Bird' is, easily, the best song of the three - or, at least, it's the most complete song; the one with the best lyrics anyway, if not, necessarily the best tune. It's a decent, if slightly over-fussy production by Jeff Lynne; this blogger completely rejects the occasionally-voiced notion that it 'sounds like ELO'. It sounds nothing like ELO - there are no cellos for a kick-off. Arguably, if it had, it would have, also, sounded more like Them Be-Atles, circa Magical Mystery Tour than it did. In fact what it most sounds like is a George Harrison solo record. Apart from Lennon's voice sounding like it had been filtered through a 1930s radio, something which could, hopefully will (and, indeed, by amateurs, has) been fixed using the new tech, Keith Telly Topping thinks it was a superb achievement for 1995 and that it still sounds pretty good today. And the video is, of course, immense.
'Real Love' - although it's not, quite, as good a song as 'Free As A Bird', per se, it's a much better production, because the original recording was a bit more hi-fi. But, the big selling point here was that it does, actually, sound just like Them Be-Atles. The harmonies are fantastic (real Abbey Road-era stuff) and the whole thing sounds, given what was in the charts in 1996, almost contemporary. Which makes Radio 1's decision - that they later said they regretted - to cut off their nose to spite their face and not playlist it, all the more baffling. The video was less evocative and beautiful than 'Free Aa A Bird' but still rather lovely all the same, particular the floating instruments.
'Now & Then'. This blogger is delighted to report that he has come to terms with it over the last week and it has grown on him considerably. Keith Telly Topping still thinks it's the slightest of the three songs (it's a verse, a chorus and then ... more choruses) and the original recording was way worse quality than the other two. But - and it's an important but - they're performed real magic it making it sound as good as they have. Giles Martin's strings are gorgeous, the vocals (including the extraction of John's original) sounds more than fine. The only thing really missing, which both of the other songs had, was something that was definably a George contribution. We know that he's on there - the acoustic guitars at the start are him and Paul as we see in the video and, apparently some of the electric rhythm work also comes from him in 1995. But, it would've been the cherry on top if he'd lived long enough to actually do a proper trademark Harrison solo. Sadly, as noted (and, as From The North favourite Mark Lewisohn also said when listening to it for the first time last week), there's not really an awful lot they could do about that since the cancer got there first. But, for what it is, they've done something no one even thought possible. They've got Them Be-Atles back together one last time. Peter Jackson's video is utterly and shamelessly manipulative. And, this blogger loves it! Dear blog readers are also advised to have a gander at Andrew from Parlogram Auctions thoughtful and enthusiastic piece on 'Now & Then' on YouTube, here.
Those who have whinged that these three songs are not the 'real' Them Be-Atles are entirely missing the point (not unusual when it comes to Be-Atles fans, sadly). As are those who complain about 'Now & Then' that 'it's not 'Tomorrow Never Knows' or 'Hey Jude' or 'A Day In The Life', is it?' Well no, it isn't (all of them aren't) but then, they were never going to be. All three are what they are. Do they 'destroy the legend and the legacy' as at least one knobcheese on YouTube has, reportedly claimed? Do they shite as like! This blogger's final word on the matter is to paraphrase Sir Macca at his funniest. 'It's Them Bloody Be-Atles (a popular beat combo of the 1960s, 1990s and 2020s) shut up!
So Keith from The Department Of Baths did turn up as promised (he was 'in the area' apparently), checked the work (which was 'satisfactory'), apologised for the several delays, assured this blogger that the humpers and shifters would be out the next day to do all the humping and shifting and gave this blogger a brief questionnaire to note his observations. Friday morning arrived with yet another bit of crappy news for this blogger. He received an e-mail from Them Be-Atles informing him that his pre-ordered copies of the new remastered and expanded Them Be-Atles 1966-66 and Them Be-Atles 1967-70 had been sent out. That morning. 'About bastard time,' this blogger thought. He had, perhaps naively, assumed that ordering CDs from the 'official' website in question meant they would be sent to arrive on the day of release. Wrong. If Keith Telly Topping had known they wouldn't go out until day of release, he wouldn't have bought them online, he'd've gone to one of the four record shops still open in this country and bought them there.
Obviously vexed, this - already wound-up like a clockwork orange - blogger and pushed him into sending one of The Stately Telly Topping Manor Plague House's trademark 'strongly worded e-mails' in reply. In which this blogger invited Them Be-Atles to explain - using graphs if necessary - why anyone would wish order a record/DVD/book online if they're not going to get it until after they're available in the shops and one has a retail outlet selling the item within, let's say, a five-to-ten mile distance? Okay, you might get it slightly cheaper online (although with postage, chances are, probably not) but, even if it does cost a bit more, it's worth it to get the damned thing when you actually want it and not a day or two or three later. So yes, lesson learned, dear blog reader. This blogger will know, in future, to ignore the whole 'pre-order, it's great' nonsense and just buy stuff in shops like normal people.
Speaking of things not turning up when you expect them ... It happened like this, dear blog fiends. At 2.30pm on Friday and with still no sign of any humpers and shifters arriving, this blogger rang the Department Of Baths again. This time, because his patience (and temper) had finally run out and he didn't want to be the position of shouting obscenities at Mia who'd always been pleasant with this blogger, when Keith Telly Topping got through to the switchboard he asked for the complaints department. Speaking to a very nice-sounding lady, he explained everything yet again, noted that he had been promised (twice) that some chaps would be out to shift stuff and added that this was - potentially - the third time that he had been assured of something which, subsequently, had not occurred. He confessed that he has a very low tolerance threshold for a) being lied to and b) arseholes who can't do their job properly. This blogger said that it was now shortly after 2.30pm and that he knew most firms in the trade knock-off for the weekend at 4.30pm on a Friday. So, she had slightly under two hours to sort this out for this blogger. She said that she would speak to the supervisor and call Keith Telly Topping back. This blogger thanked her, sincerely, but warned that if he didn't hear back from her, promptly, the next call he made would be to every national newspaper he could find a number for, to ask if they wanted a story about an incompetent, mendacious plumbing and fitting sub-contract firm, doing particularly shoddy, not-even-remotely timorous jobs on council-owned properties. Keith Telly Topping added that, since it's a 'Labour-controlled council property' he was sure that the Daily Scum Mail, for example, would be particularly interested in such a story because they love that sort of thing, so they do. The return call took exactly seven minutes with a promise that 'the supervisor will try to get someone out this afternoon.' 'Try?' this blogger asked and then left it hanging there like a sock on a shower-rail. Within quarter-of-an-hour, a couple of big burly chaps arrived at The Stately Telly Topping Manor Plague House managing to manoeuvre the heavy medicine cabinet along the narrow corridor and into the bathroom (plus one or two other sundry bits and pieces) within minutes. Result.
So, that's it, dear - by now presumably bored-up-to-your-tits - blog readers. This blogger still has to fit the shower curtain himself it would appear (he may need some help with that but he'll leave the issue for another day). The Stately Telly Topping Manor Plague House kitchen is now clear(ish) of assorted junk and, for the first time in two-and-a-half weeks, in the words of The Whom (a popular beat combo of the 1960s, you might've heard of them), 'at least I'll get my washing done.' Photographic evidence is supplied, as usual. Thus ends - for the moment - the tale of The Stately Telly Topping Manor Plague House bathroom refit and this blogger's dealings with the Department Of Baths, which has lasted longer than all of the Viking sagas put together and, with the addition of Wagner's Ring cycle as an encore.
Let us, now, move on to: A Pictorial Study Of A Saturday Morning At The Stately Telly Topping Manor Plague House (In But Four Images). Starting with the completion of the first of what promises to be several machines-full of washing after a fortnight-and-a-half of unwelcome inactivity related to (unwanted) clutter. Several more machine-loads full may follow. But, not on that day ...
... since this blogger was going to have bugger-all space to actually hang anything else up to dry either in the kitchen or in the bathroom; the latter being, at that time, in-use drying several of the towels included in the first load.
Then, there was the arrival of incoming packages on Saturday morning. All, more of less, when various e-mails had stated they would be delivered (so, that was nice, for a change). The first three were from Argos and included various bathroom accessories purchased online because, this blogger deserves a bit of comfort in his drum. The middle one was from Pharmacy2U containing much-needed medications to, essentially, keep Keith Telly Topping alive. Whilst the one on the far-right was from Them Be-Atles (a popular beat combo of the 1960s, you might've heard of them). This blogger really wishes he could have told you, dear blog fiends, that in one of the first three there was something like a 'deluxe blow-up woman (with the real hair)' since that would make an entirely accurate heading for this particular illustrative image SEX & DRUGS & ROCK N ROLL. Sadly, Argos don't do sexy-type-shenanigans (although there is at least one 'rubber item' in there, if that counts).
Thank you, so very much Them Be-Atles (a popular beat comb of the 1960s, you might've heard of them) for getting this blogger these two career retrospective CDs approximately twenty four hours after he could have bought them if he'd just gone to HMV in town and had done with it. Both, incidentally, include the motto 'Made In Germany' on a sticker attached to the back cover. Which, when you think about, also applies to Them Be-Atles (a popular beat combo of the 1960s, you might've heard of them).
There has, of course, been some considerable debate about the relative merits of the reissued Red & Blue, with some people very much enjoying the fresh approach, the punch given to those early singles by demix technology and the fact that they've fixed some long-standing issues (that horrible drop-out in the right stereo channel in 'Day Tripper' for instance). But that they've left other, more charming, mistakes alone. So, we've still got John muffing the words of the third verse of 'Please Please Me' and giggling into the chorus. The most divisive issue seems to be the 2023 mix of 'I Am The Walrus' which this blogger - and several of his fiends - really enjoyed but which had at least one poor man made tame to fortunes blows on You Tube losingf his shite and declaring 'the Walrus is dead.'
Oh, grow up! Sit you down, father. Rest you. This blogger thought it was great. Stick that up yer jumper.
1962-66 is, clearly, the most compelling purchase of the two if you're thinking of only buying one of them (although, if you are thinking of only buying one of them, then you're very silly). The kick-in-the-balls of listening to proper, fully functional stereo mixes of 'She Loves You', 'Twist & Shout', 'I Saw Her Standing There' and 'Roll Over Beethoven', for example, will see you jolly close to pissing in your knickers and screaming at your musical device. (For what it's worth, this blogger's CD player isn't working very well so he ended up playing them through his DVD player and they sounded just great there. If you're listening on Spotify or another online streamer, though those horrible earbuds that get on this blogger's bellend with their nastiness, you might have a different experience.) You may, if you're lucky, hear tiny things that you've never heard before (for this blogger it was the sound of Paul's fingers sliding along his Epiphone strings on 'Yesterday'). But even if you don't, to paraphrase Derek Taylor, in beautiful of-the-era SF imagery on the liner notes of Beatles For Sale, just play the kids of the future the music and they'll get it. Try listening to it with a glass of wine (or, a non-alcoholic beverage of your choice if, like this blogger, you're on pills for your nerves) and a nice takeaway and react accordingly.
Deserved it? This blogger should flaming cocoa, dear blog fiends!
The broadcast time for the first of the three Doctor Who sixtieth anniversary specials, The Star Beast, has been announced. It will be shown on BBC1 at 6.30pm on Saturday 25 November. 'So Whovians can now set their clocks for that time,' according to some prick on no importance at the Radio Times (which used to be run by adults). Just to repeat, there is not a single, solitary Doctor Who fan with an ounce of dignity or self-respect (two things, admittedly, no often associated with fandom) that would willingly use the hateful 'w' word unless it was ironically. The first special will be followed by further episodes, Wild Blue Yonder and The Giggle on the following two Saturdays. The Star Beast will be followed on BBC Three by the first episode of the new companion series Doctor Who Unleashed, at 7:30pm.
This week also saw the announcement of a few more new cast members, including Dara Lall as Fudge and John MacKay as television pioneer John Logie Baird - a role he previously played in another Russell Davies drama, Nolly. Although precise plot details are still awaited, fans have been offered many snippets of information in various stills and trailers – while Big Rusty has promised that fans will be 'staggered' by 'the surprises.'
Big Rusty has said he approaches the BBC's popular long-running family SF drama as if it is an 'eight-year-old watching,' In comments reported by the Daily Torygraph and reprinted in the Gruniad Morning Star, Rusty admitted some scenes were 'violent' and 'scary'. One of his predecessors, The Lord Thy God Steven Moffat (OBE), previously described the programme a 'children's show,' the Gruniad sneered, albeit failing to take into account the context in which those comments were made. Davies's view 'was more nuanced,' the Gruniad claimed. He said: 'It is not a children's show but I think at the heart of it is an eight year old watching, I think it's always that. We think of that when we are in the edits. And do you know there is some very scary stuff, some stuff is violent, it's not for children but it is about children - it's about a child's imagination.' Davies said that the first of the three specials is the most family-friendly of the trio, with Miriam Margolyes as the voice behind The Meep, a furry and seemingly adorable alien adapted from The Star Beast comic-strip. On The Meep, he said: 'I think a child would invent The Meep, wouldn't they? It's very much a child's creation, I think it's designed for children to like, in a good way.' He had words of caution for the subsequent two specials, however. '[The Star Beast] is like a great big Pixar family film, like a bank holiday film - all the family watching, lots of laughs, a funny monster. The second one, Wild Blue Yonder, is darker. Not scary, it's genuinely weird,' he said. The third, The Giggle, featuring Neil Patrick Harris as The Celestial Toymaker is 'nuts, completely mad, frightening,' Rusty said. 'That one will scare you.'
Russell had previously praised Ncuti Gatwa's 'thunderbolt' audition, which ultimately landed him the role of The Doctor. Recalling Ncuti's audition, Big Rusty wrote in Time: 'I'd watched him on screen and thought I had the measure of him, until he walked into the room for the Doctor Who audition. Bang! Thunderbolt. And bear in mind, for UK TV, the part of The Doctor is The Crown Jewels, it's history, it's tradition, it's ... oh, spd that, I said and threw it at him. He's conquered the world. Now all of time and space is his.' In an interview with GQ Magazine, Ncuti revealed that his audition was in front of the show's producers and Russell and he had to read a ten-page scene of the first meeting between The Doctor and his companion, Ruby Sunday (Millie Gibson). After completing his audition, 'I knew I needed to go in and give them a wink and a [smile],' Ncuti said. 'But I almost forgot about [the audition] as soon as I left the room, because there was just no way,' he added.
The Daleks and The Cybermen may be The Doctor's most iconic enemies, but Big Rusty has confirmed that Ncuti Gatwa will not be required tp do battle with them in his first series of Doctor Who. Speaking at a Q&A event after a press screening for the first of the upcoming sixtieth anniversary specials, Russell revealed that The Doctor won't need to worry about being exterminated or deleted in series fourteen. Speaking about the series as a whole, Russell explained: 'It's very new. Ncuti's new and Millie is new and it was new to us with Disney and the whole new era, as it were.' He added: 'There are no Daleks, there are no Cybermen, I didn't want to look back too much.' However, he reiterated that he 'loves' The Daleks and would be happy to bring them back later. 'I do think we've had a lot of Daleks lately,' he said. 'Because, actually, lovely Chris Chibnall's Christmas specials have all been Daleks. 'So I think they've been done a lot, people are expecting them every year now. I think they need a good pause.' Ncuti's Doctor will be facing some brand new threats that, Russell hopes, could eventually become 'iconic antagonists' in their own right. At least, according to the Radio Times (which used to be run by adults). 'Hopefully there's some enemies and things that will become new classics,' Rusty said. 'But it's always good to move on!'
Russell has likened Ncuti Gatwa's first series to the Christopher Eccleston era on Doctor Who. Ncuti will, of course, make his debut as The Doctor in the upcoming sixtieth anniversary specials. He will then appear in the Christmas special alongside Millie Gibson before the pair appear in a full, eight-episode, series in 2024. Speaking to various media outlets, Russell compared filming scenes between the new Doctor and Ruby to filming with Christopher Ecclestone's Doctor and Billie Piper's Rose Tyler ahead of the show's revival. 'It was like this in 2004 when we were shooting with Chris and Billie and people were going, "What's it going to be like, is it going to be rubbish?" That was the attitude in 2004. And I literally used to sit there going, I've got such a good secret, that they're so good,"' he said. 'Every day I would get rushes of Rose Tyler and The Doctor, thinking, "Oh my God, I can't wait for people to see this." And it's exactly like that with Ncuti and Millie, it's literally thrilling,' he added. Teasing fans with what to expect from the upcoming episodes, Russell said that series fourteen will feature things they have never attempted previously. 'Some of the stories we've never done before, the style of which we've never done before, we do brand new things on screen,' he said. 'You write the stuff because they're so good. And they meet that challenge every time. I am literally so excited to show it. I know it's my job to sit here and hype it, but I could have stopped by now couldn't I?'
Nicola Coughlan is joining the Doctor Who universe. The whoniverse, if you will (see below). Russell Davies revealed the news during the Q&A on Monday night following a press screening of The Star Beast. When asked if he could reveal anyone who will be making a guest appearance in the next series, Davies teased an appearance by Coughlan. However, fans will have to wait about a year. 'Nicola Coughlan at Christmas - not this Christmas, next Christmas,' Russell said. 'We're shooting Christmas 2024 now.' Known for her roles in Derry Girls and Bridgerton, Coughlan also starred alongside Ncuti Gatwa in the successful Barbie movie earlier this year. While the audience snacked on popcorn from TARDIS-shaped boxes, Russell discussed the three forthcoming specials starring David Tennant and Catherine Tate, as well as hinting about Ncuti's introductory episode, The Church On Ruby Road, seeming to confirm that it will be broadcast on 25 December. 'That Christmas Day episode is gorgeous, it's absolutely gorgeous,' Russell said, adding of working with Gatwa: 'When you cast great actors, the pressure is to live up to them, is to give them stuff that they love. And also stuff that will push them every day.' Russell also advised anyone with anti-trans views 'good luck in your lonely lives.'
As David Tennant is about to return to the role of The Doctor, with Ncuti Gatwa soon to follow, the previous inhabitant on the TARDIS, Jodie Whittaker has been the subject of a lengthy, wide-ranging interview by Rebecca Nicholson of the Observer which you can check out, here. In it, Jodie revealed that she was in the early stages of pregnancy when she filmed her final Doctor Who episode. 'The first Doctor with two hearts,' she said. 'I was able to tell a kid at Comic-Con that I was method for the first time. All these people being like, you're not qualified, as a woman, to play an alien. First time you've had a Doctor with two hearts, so there you go!'
An article in the Gruniad suggests that 'film recordings of not just one, but two of the early [Doctor Who] adventures, both featuring William Hartnell, has been found in Britain by amateur sleuths.' And that 'one [episode features] The Daleks.' Sadly, they don't bother to actually name the episodes in question - although given how few William Hartnell episodes featuring The Daleks are currently missing from the BBC archives, process of elimination suggests that one is either 1065's Mission To The Unknown or one of the nine missing episodes of The Daleks' Master Plan. The article, however, is well worth a read.
This blogger is, genuinely, not sure whether he finds 'whoniverse' more or less offensive than 'whovian' - Keith Telly Topping could go either way on this one.
Janet Fielding, apparently, calls us 'Whodlums'. Which, very definitively, works for this blogger. Actually, as it turns out, 'whoniverse' is far older than this blogger initially believed. This blogger's fiend Amanda informs Keith Telly Topping that it was used on the back-cover blurb of Nigel Robinson's Second Doctor Who Quiz Book in 1982. The final section of Peter Haining's Doctor Who: A Celebration, from a year later, is called The Whoniverse. As a consequence, like 'Now & Then' this blogger has come to terms with 'whoniverse', as it has a far longer history than Keith Telly Topping had remembered; the recent use of it, to me, felt a bit like Russell deciding to borrow 'Buffyverse' from the Joss Whedon shows so that was what, initially, set this blogger's teeth on edge a bit. However, it turns out the word was in use whilst Joss Whedon was still at school in Winchester and Peter Davison was The Doctor. Thus, this blogger accepts it for what it is. 'Whovian' on the other hand. Burn it with fire. And, a word of praise for good old Nigel. 'Invented a word' is a Hell of a good line to have on your CV. And, this blogger says that as someone who, according to Michael Adams' book Slayer Slang (Oxford University Press, 2003) has! If 'whoniverse' is good enough for this fellah, it's good enough for yer actual Keith Telly Topping.
As some of you will already know (because this blogger has talked about it often enough), Keith Telly Topping has a one thousand word piece coming up in those fine people at ATB Publishing's forthcoming Outside In Regenerates: One Hundred & Sixty Three New Perspectives On On Hundred & Sixty Three Classic Doctor Who Stories By One Hundred & Sixty Three Writers. Due to be published on - of course - 23 November and which, if you haven't already ordered it, you really should. Here. Go on, it's for charriddeee.
Anyway, this blogger has also just completed writing a similar piece for next year's Outside, I Can Live With It In from the same publisher. Celebrating Deep Space 9 (the Star Trek series that got good the quickest and stayed good the longest) and its significant contribution to mankind. Which, astounding to say, once this blogger managed to complete, saying the things that he want to say, he was actually proud of. When was the last time that happened? Oh yes, it was doing The Aztecs for Outside In Regenerates: One Hundred & Sixty Three New Perspectives On On Hundred & Sixty Three Classic Doctor Who Stories By One Hundred & Sixty Three Writers. Which you really should order if you haven't already done so. This blogger has mentioned that, right?
Full details of the DS9 book will be announced once this blogger knows them. As, indeed, will publication details of another project that Keith Telly Topping got himself involved with - almost by accident - recently, another fan-published book this time on The Kinks. Again, once this blogger knows when that will be available to the public, he will let all dear bloggerisationisms readers know along with details on how to order.
Following which, we come to that part of From The North dedicated to this blogger's medical malarkey. Or, strictly speaking, malarkeys as there are several of them. For those dear blog readers who haven't been following this on-going fiasco which appears to have been on-going longer than ... God, it goes like this: Keith Telly Topping spent some weeks around Christmas 2021 into the New Year feeling rotten; experienced five day in hospital; was discharged; received B12 injections; then more of them; somewhat recovered his missing appetite; got an initial diagnosis; had a consultant's meeting; continued to suffer from fatigue and insomnia; endured a second endoscopy; had another consultation; got (unrelated) toothache; had an extraction; which took ages to heal; had another consultation; spent a week where nothing remotely health-related occurred; received further B-12 injections; had an echocardiogram; was subject to more blood extractions; made another hospital visit; saw the unwelcome insomnia and torpor continue; received yet more blood tests; had a rearranged appointment; suffered his worst period yet with the fatigue. Until the following week. And, then the week after that. Oh, the fatigue, dear blog reader. The depressing, ceaseless fatigue. He had a go on the Blood-Letting Machine; got another sick note; had an assessment; was given his fourth COVID jab; got some surprising but welcome news about his assessment; had the results of his annual diabetes check-up; had another really bad week with the fatigue; followed by one with the sciatica; then one with the chronic insomnia; and, one with a plethora of general cold-related grottiness. Which continued over the Christmas period and into 2023. There was that whole 'slipping in The Stately Telly Topping Manor Plague House bath and putting his knee through the side' thing; the painful night-time leg cramps; getting some new spectacles; returning to the East End pool. Only to discover that he remains as weak of a kitten in the water. Or, indeed, out of it. Feeling genuinely wretched. Experiencing a nasty bout of gastroenteritis. Had a visit from an occupational therapist. Did the 'accidentally going out in my slippers' malarkey. The return of the dreaded insomnia and the dreaded return of the fatigue. The latest tri-monthly prickage; plus, yet more sleep disturbances, a further bout of day time retinology, exhaustion and a nasty cold in the very week that he got his latest Covid and influenza inoculations.
This blogger is not a well man, dear blog reader. Sorry if that comes as a big surprise to anyone. He's not fishing for sympathy here (much), but it has to be said, the last couple of weeks have seen him at his lowest ebb in some considerable time. The results of his recent six-monthly diabetes check-up were very much a mixed bag (both blood sugar levels and blood pressure were considerably up from the last check) necessitating a change of medication. In addition to his recurring back complaint and the nasty bout of sinusitis he's had for the last month, there are a couple of other - far more minor - issues that've reared their ugly heads of late. And, of course, all of the stress surrounding the lengthy Department Of Baths saga hasn't, exactly, helped matters. This blogger has a further series of blood tests and a medication review to undergo in December. So, with that in mind, this blogger has decided to give up life and try to stay in bed as much as possible because, whilst he's there, he's usually all right.
Of course, even that didn't go as planned. On Sunday afternoon, whilst he was in the process of beginning to put this bloggerisationism update together, this blogger went to bed for an hour after lunch as he was feeling a bit run down (well no, actually, a lot run down). It's something he does a few times each week and, often, it proves to be really beneficial with him waking up feeling full of beans and ready for action. Big mistake. This time, he woke up and his head felt like it was stuffed full of cotton wool. It took him most of the rest of the day to stop feeling woozy.
Then, dear blog reader, hair-cut!
But, for why the sour face Keith Telly Topping several of this blogger's Facebook fiends asked, askingly. Actually there is a jolly good reason, this blogger explained. 'Whilst my barber, Phil, was busy doing an oldish chap before me, he was talking proudly about his daughter having just got a bass guitar for her birthday and adding that he'd just learned how to play 'Smoke On The Water'. "I can't remember how it goes," he said then looked over at me and said "you're good on music, how does 'Smoke On The Water' go?"' This blogger rolled his eyes and replied 'It goes "UH-UH-UUUH/UH-UH-UH-UHHHH/UH-UH-UHHHH/UH-UH"'. Tragically, as a consequence, Keith Telly Topping then spent the rest of the say with that sodding annoying earworm stuck in his head. So, even though this blogger no longer looks like a member of Deep Purple, you can understand his somewhat unenthusiastic outlook on life. Plus, his back was knacking again. See, dear blog reader, there is always a logical explanation for everything. Even scowling selfies.
Mad Old Fekker John Cleese (who used to be relatively normal but stopped being around the same time as he also stopped being funny) 'takes aim at today's cancel culture as new data shows one-in-four people ditch non-woke pals,' claim those delightful people at GB News. Home for all of your bestest right-wing scumbaggery and sick hate-speech. So, Great Britain, here's a challenge - let's see if we can make that four-in-four and render the argument redundant.
Possibly this blogger's favourite ever local newspaper 'article for the hard of thinking' comes from one Rebecca Carey of the Lancashire Telegraph What Foods Should You Not Put In You Freezer? See The Five Items. Listen, Rebecca sweetheart, this blogger believes that most people are probably well aware that putting tinned goods and food in glass containers in a freezer is, probably, a jolly bad idea. And, anyone that doesn't know this is unlikely to be able to take your valuable advice to heart since, chances are, they can't read.
This blogger caught the tiniest glimpse of the aurora borealis one night last week. A slight green tinge against the Northern horizon; it was only the fourth time in his life he'd seen the remarkable spectacle (interestingly, the last three have all been in the last decade and a bit). Sadly, due to the omnipresent street lighting it was only the barest of glimpses; others - seemingly - got a far better view according to the BBC News website.
The From The North Headline Of The Week award goes, unequivocally, to the Yorkshire Post, for Devastated Yorkshire Man Forced To Sell His 'Dream' Campervan After Vegan Wires 'Eaten By Rats'.
Other nominations include the Stoke Sentinel's Sainsbury's Switches Off Travellator & Lifts To Leave Shoppers Seething. You don't see many uses of 'seething' in newspapers these days to describe people being a little bit cross because they've been slightly inconvenienced, do you? 'Fuming', yes. 'Angry', certainly. But, not 'seething'. Except in a Sainsbury's in Stoke, obviously.
There's also one from the BBC News website, Anger In Hornsea After Lincoln The 'Tesco Cat' Is Banned From Store. Whether Lincoln knows about, or intends to comply with, the banning order we simply don't know. But, we can probably guess.
And, of course, we cannot forget the Island Echo's Calls For East Cowes Town Mayor To Resign After Con Club Fracas. Presumably, over in West Cowes, they're having a right good laugh about that.
Those dear blog readers outside of the UK may be unaware of the reason why the name Suella Braverman raises such diverse reactions in the UK. A brief glance at Eight Things Suella Braverman Said That Made Headlines should give you a broad idea of why the now extremely former Home Secretary is so badly-liked by many. In recent weeks there has been much speculation that Braverman's increasing outrageous, headline-baiting rhetoric has been, at least in part, a deliberate attempt to force Rishi Sunak to sack her as part of a complex, cunning plan to position herself as the champion of the Tory right-wing and, potentially, the next Conversative Party leader. All of which sounds entirely reasonable working on the assumption that no 'normal' person would claim that living rough is 'a lifestyle choice', that 'the British people deserve to know which party is serious about stopping the invasion on our Southern coast' or that 'Multiculturalism makes no demands of the incomer to integrate. It has failed' without an ulterior motive. Having said that, dear blog reader, one has to remember that this is the vile, odious, spiteful, nasty Suella Braverman we're talking about and that some people are, simply, scum. So, the news that this week, finally, after months of squatting on the fence Sunak has grown enough of a backbone to kick her sorry ass into the nearest gutter along with all the other turds is welcome and ... funny. Mind you, Sunka's decision to re-employ a, seemingly, unemployable former occupier of his own office was a definite Spanish Inquisition moment.
And finally, dear blog reader, is Should I Worry That My Hot Drink Will Give Me Cancer? the most Gruniad Morning Star 'concerned think-piece' in the history of Gruniad Morning Star 'concerned think-pieces'? The answer, incidentally, is 'no it won't and if you think it will, drink something else instead.' But, of course, the writer was being paid by the word so it padded it out a bit.