A Poem In Honour Of The President's Visit

Barack Obama rhymes with armour
Because he shields us from our fears

Barack Obama rhymes with calmer
Because I am always calmer when he is around

Barack Obama rhymes with farmer
Because he tends his people and raises freedom and democracy from the soil

Barack Obama rhymes with chicken parma
Because he is cloaked in the cheese of nobility and the tomato sauce of joy

Barack Obama rhymes with banana in pyjama
Because he is long and yellow and chases teddy bears

Barack Obama rhymes with Dalai Lama
Because he is an elderly Tibetan man

Yes, Barack Obama rhymes with llama
Because he is surefooted and carrying our dreams up the Andes

And also, the fur.

TALES OF THE EXPECTED

Woman leaves food outside house.

Wildlife officers tell woman to stop leaving food outside her house.

Woman continues to leave food outside her house.

Woman is eaten by bear.

EVERYthing?

Well-known moose-botherer and grandmother of two Sarah Palin rails against mean people.

Besides letting us know that bloggers are nasty, she also reveals that she named her daughter Bristol because she was too scared to move to a different city.

Palin also wishes she had more input into strategy during the election campaign. Stupid advisers knocked back her idea to replace the vice-presidential debate with a cross-country caribou-back race.

Vote for sexy times!