Robert Ridley-Shackleton – "Stone Cold Crazy" (Crow Versus Crow – CVC010) 2018

I noticed recently, that there is no such thing as a group anymore.All the charts are full up of so-called 'Solo artists'(like RRS), who are there strictly for their aesthetically pleasing presence (unlike RRS)....not that I don't find them utterly repulsive (sort of like RRS,but...). The vast divisions of Musicians and technical experts behind these Avatars are largely ignored;only to appear in the background for these stadium tours,as their 'Group'.

Now we've got "AI" algorithm versions of the pop we are supposed to want to hear.So the days are definitely numbered for us Biological Units.Soon there will be no work,just leisure time but with NOTHING to do,it's all done for us.Nietzschen Artificial Intelligence has it all covered Boy's and Boys,ex-Girls ex-girls,and all those beautiful souls in transition.All part of the techno-fascist agenda, to remove anything human from the analogue planet.No sexually compatible partners ultimately leads to No Humanity.Duh! 

Basically Humans will accept absolutely ANYTHING they are told to. If they are told they are a woman trapped in a Boy's body,or that Harry Styles 1.2 is good stuff,then I guess we should all accept it?!

Liam Gallagher ,after hearing the "AI" version of Oasis was heard to exclaim ,allegedly, that (he) Sounded "Mega"!?.....add the AI media suggestion that he was serious and not joking and you have the start of the replacement of biological Art...if you rate Oasis as "Art" or not?.....its cheaper and less troublesome than having the real Liam Gallagher on a contract to your global corporation.

It will get to the stage when Avatars of Avatars will be purchasing the new Oasis album from each other, leaving what room, or what use for Humans? Vulnerable biological machines that were so dumb as to design their own replacements,and then moan about it,but do precisely Nuffink.....yes another Oasis album,with Robo-Bonehead on guitar. Noel was rich and wise enough to buy his own avatar which refused to work with the singer,or Bonehead, for all eternity.

My toes curl at the idea of of an eternal Robo-Bez idiot dancing for the next billion tears,frying his MDMA chip to a frazzle....and going to Avatar Re-Hab with an interactive hologram of Kurt Cobain as his new besty to plumb new depths of the Metaverse.

I may be very WRONG, but i can't see a Robot ever coming up with anything as dysfunctional and deranged as "Stone Cold Crazy" by the HAL 9000 of underground DIY, Mr Robert Ridley-Shackleton......although he may be in big trouble, because the album title has already been used by AI robo-metal by numbers, and bastards, total fucking BASTARDS, Metallica. They'll be sending a terminator out for Robert's bollocks before too long.....maybe mine too?

So embrace the short time we have left,before all literature, all visual art, and all Music, will be created "For Us"(?) by that amazing ,'Award winning',computer program some idiotic teenager wrote in 2023....whoopeee. 

Computer comedy, hows about that then? What more could you want other than a laughing my ass off emoji. "Wuthering Heights" reduced to just a single sad face emoji on a piece of A5."War and Peace",edited down to a yawning smiley face....we're bored but...we're 'Happy'. 

All that gossip tech's real purpose was to test drive and develop our replacement emotions by variations on the Smiley face.

I guess I'm suggesting that there should be a new Luddite movement or such-like?....well....er...yes.....but,queue sardonic use of footballer interview technique, at the end of the day, we's a-getting what's comin' to us....Don't say i didn't tell ya so.

I'm working on a Deep-Fake version of myself to continue this blog for all eternity right now. Of course its a more handsome,and popular version de moi,but at least the idea of me will remain, post mortem....my first interview after i've gone will possibly be with Bonehead's avatar.....something to look forward to is that?...No?

Hasn't ABBA already done this shit?...here cometh the ruthless dictatorship of Bjorn Avatar and Benny Avatar,who's dream it is to cleanse the planet of us biological scum....notice how sexism survives this cyber coup d'etat.....only 'male' Avatars get to be the crimes against humanity big shots.No Agnetha and/or ...er...the other one!

As Metallica once admitted in weak moment,.... "Kill 'em All".

Twats!

Obviously I'm being more Phillip K Dick rather than Phillip K Dick'ead......but am i ?...Huh? Huuuuh?

Tracklist:

A1 Stone Cold Crazy In Love With U
A2 Pest Control
A3 Bury Me
B1 Yol 4 President
B2 Dirty Cardboard
B3 Snack Effective

DOWNLOAD a rare product of humanity HERE!

Duplo Chat – "Duplo Chat" (Moon Mist Music- mmm) 2015

 Ahhhh, a piece for that old standard of the DIY experimental underground.......The badly tuned Radio.

This was probably the first electronic instrument I owned.Short wave was a favourite,but this one sounds more on the Long Wave spectrum,accompanied by a rather oxidated tuning knob.

There may also be either some evidence of cutlery use or a couple of kitchen pans,with stapler in subtle use here too,plus the odd isolated cough among the foggy room ambiance on offer.

The knob handler here is none other than Robert Ridley-Shackleton,capturing 30 minutes of time that would have otherwise gone un-noticed if no-one had bothered to record it. Of course there will be some people,if can call them 'people', out there, who will wish that he hadn't bothered;but they need to realise that there was a moment that doesn't even have a noun, or even a pro-noun, when Time didn't exist,as it still doesn't somewhere beyond the event horizon of a super massive black hole.This is in fact a recording of the microwave background left behind by the singularity which we now call 'the Big Bang',an echo of a time before time if you will.

There is some doubt as to the uniqueness of this singularity,so there may be plenty,if not infinite, versions of this C-30 cassette existing in places that neither light nor time will ever reach us as we accelerate,expanding into the vast darkness of space/time.A mystery we will only understand on our death beds......if you're lucky enough to die in bed that is.Be also aware that the laws of quantum Physics also suggest that in at least one of these realities, there will be a 'God',so let's hope it's not this one,or we're all fucked by his/her pathetic need for vengeance, and there will be a whole bunch of unspeakably awful Red Necks taunting us smart arses from behind the pearly gates as we get channeled, by a laughing Putin and Trump kicking our arses towards the 'other place'.Which I guess does have its own rewards.At least the only bible bashers we will encounter in this imaginary Hell would be peadophile priests,and and followers of non mono-theistic religions such as Hunduism,celebrity-ism,and Paganism.Non-Mono's we will call them.

All this and more, captured within the static and oxidized rheostats of a transistor radio...who'd have thought it?

Tracklist:

1.Side A

2.Side B 

DOWNLOAD some digital duplo bricks of radio static HERE!

Robert Ridley-Shackleton – "Shut Up Egg" (Self-Released C-30) 2011

The absurdist prince of cardboard funk has less lovely Eggs to poach here which makes The Lovely Eggs themselves sound like Pat Methany in comparison.

Zero-fi and child-like,you will be forgiven in thinking that this was a clandestine recording made at the music therapy day-center for Kidults with learning difficulties.

Is this Outsider Art? Or a neo-Dadaist approach to sound collage,inspired by  Huge-o Balls.

No prizes for guessing that RRS is yet another demented Bristolian trying to eliminate the shame of being in the home town of Massive Attack. Maybe these extremely dull Trip Hoppers are represented by the Egg,as we ALL would like them to shut up,.....permanent like!

Presenting an image not unlike a member of the Red Hot Chilli Peppers gone even more wrong, with a degenerative wasting disease. RRS is the latest in a long line of completely mental musical eccentrics that Britain seems to effortlessly produce with considerable ease.

He either can't get a Girlfriend, or he has a Girlfriend...either way,he's Fucked, or not fucked?! Trapped in vicious circular mental torture specific to heterosexual males that lead to a special kind of beta-male torture like this. Make a cassette called Shut Up Egg or just...well....Give Up.Not something British Legend,and RRS namesake, Earnest Shackleton ever considered during his incredible escape from certain death in the antarctic,almost single handedly saving his crew from a slow death on Elephant Island in the south Atlantic.....maybe RRS is a distant relative,which would explain why he behaves as if he is still stranded on a small rocky outcrop in the antarctic hinterland,surviving on a diet of Penguins and piss.

 

RRS...Not an outsider? and definitely NOT in the Red Hot Chilli Peppers?

With a production rate that puts Jandek in the shade, you can part with some of your hard earned spondulicks at his Bandcamp site for dozens of one take madnesses spread over several formats for around three english pounds a go. A cheaper way of spending time that you will never get back I would be struggling to imagine.

Tracklist:

A1 Shut Up Egg
A2 Coconut Bird Crazy
A3 Flabjack
B1 Silly Little Poochie
B2 Poor Old Humpty

Download and shut that egg up HERE!
Download this and a lot more from the cardboard prince of card funk himself HERE!.....you'll have to pay for it though kidz!