Gasoline

It is predicted that gas prices here in the Evil Empire will rise to over $4 bucks a gallon here soon.

According to one analyst I heard on KBOO, that price is HIGHLY INFLATED.

According to her (and I forget her name, it was about a month ago), the U.S. has an excess of oil in reserve. Actual gas prices (like diamonds) should be much lower than their inflated numbers. She explained it as the traders (traitors?) on Wall Street making deals that artificially raise the price of oil in order to create more wealth for the already wealthy. One fella, she alleged, even bragged about how he single handedly raised gas prices.

What inflated gas prices do, of course, is make the poor poorer and the rich richer.

Here in the U.S., thanks to the constitution, jingoism, the media, the alleged education system, etc., there will be no folks hitting the streets. We are so docile and complacent here that unless it involves some billionaire losing five bucks a year, we aren't willing to hit the streets in droves and bring about any actual forms of change.

Inflated gas prices also mean inflated food prices, inflated restaurant prices, inflated already heavily inflated movie prices. Folks won't go out as much. Businesses will start slowly going under, smallest ones first. But the BILLIONAIRES will be fine, and thus, none of the poor folks on the bottom will do anything because billionaires won't be getting hurt.

So, gas prices are a highly inflated lie that benefit only the excessively wealthy while damaging the folks on the bottom (that's us). We on the bottom aren't going to do a damn thing about it because it doesn't damage the bottom line of billionaires, it damages our bottom lines. No one will hit the streets, or if they do, it will be in such small numbers that it won't be noticed. The media will play along with the lie because the folks in the media only care about their careers, not the truth.

This, too, will supply fuel to the impending economic collapse. See ya there!

Movin' On

There were some other things that I've wanted to write about, but they have completely shot out one of the holes in my head, so I'll update you on the move.

Felicia and I have pretty much made up.

Both Shusli and I are pretty sore this morning from all the packing stuff and moving stuff around.

Saturday is the big day. We have the U-Haul lined up.

We have gotten rid of a lot of stuff.

My plans are changing. They went from moving right down with her, to staying for two months, to staying for 6 months, to moving down at the end of March. Fed Ex is looking to hire some folks in April, and I'd much rather be down their quickly. As gas rises, and us making at least two trips (probably one each) per month, I'd say it is about the same price for what Fed Ex would pay me as it would be what I make up here.

As Shusli gets her training and experience at being an oncology nurse, I am going to look into my education. Shusli told me that I'd make about the same amount of money being a Fed Ex driver as I would with a two year degree in early childhood development. Sad, but true. Besides, she mentioned, I would have to teach their curriculum or be out of a job rather quickly. This is true as I've heard many stories of teacher who have tried to give reality based educations in this nation only to be fired or pressured to leave. I'd have better chances at warping little minds just talking with folks than with a degree and a job in education.

So, I asked Shusli, half serious, half joking, how long does it take to get a Certified Nurses Aid certificate. She said six weeks. I had to ask her a couple of times because it seemed like it would be longer. So, now possibly getting a CNA certificate is in my future, and if I like it, maybe I'll try to get into the nursing program and be a nurse like my sweetie.

What's funny about the move is I've moved a large amount of boxes into our shed because it gets crowded in the house, but we fill the spaces right back up. We are truly getting close, though. There are lotsa pockets of emptiness. Not empty because we're moving, but empty because we are creating new space for others to enjoy this house. Others, who can hopefully put up with the traffic racket, PIR, the airport, the police and crime activities, etc. It is safe to walk around here even at night and alone, BUT THE NOISE! Oyvay (sp?)!

Message to Kosovo

I haven't been following your independence move close enough, Kosovo, and again, I send you congratulations. I believe there should be MANY little regions ruled by their own peoples. I think it would be nice if every state in the U.S. declared its independence from the Evil Empire, but that is only a fantasy...at the moment.

Like I said, I haven't been following your move for independence lately and have only heard little bits, so I will send you a warning with the little information I have heard.

As an indigenous person here in the U.S., I am pretty aware of what the U.S. is capable of doing once they get a toe hold into somebody elses property. I mean, look at Iraq for example. Saddam was the U.S. buddy until he tried to nationalize the oil, then GHW Proudly slaughtered many of their folks in order to create more wealth for already wealthy oil billionaires.

As Indians, we fed these rotten bastards, made trade with them, then they found or created one excuse or another to slaughter us by the millions and steal everything we have and then shit all over it and destroy it.

Should the U.S. be allowed, as I've heard, by your new government, to build a pipeline or a military base, you will NO LONGER be an independent nation. The U.S. WILL OWN YOU! If you try to naitonalize your wealth, a pipeline, or get the U.S. military to stop raping your women, you will pay horrifically, for the U.S. never likes it when their owned nations get uppity and try to take their stuff back.

So, Kosovo, I am giving you a warning, keep the U.S. out and keep your independence. Let the U.S. in, and the U.S. will treat you like it's bitch and if you get uppity, they will make you pay.

Sincerely,

Eugene Johnson
one of many survivors of the U.S. lead genocide against the indigenous peoples of the United States.

Vote of Death

I am not a big fan of democracy. I mean, look what democracy has done for us Indians. Really folks.

I don't vote. I have, but now I don't. The system will only allow the type of person to run it that will make sure the system stays intact.

However, if I did vote, I'd probably vote for Cynthia McKinney. No, it wouldn't be throwing away my vote. You see, I have a different measurement upon which I would vote for someone. I call it "The Death Factor."

"The Death Factor" is an easy way to measure you candidate choice. Ask yourself, "How many people are going to die uselessly and senselessly should this person become president?"

Cynthia McKinney, of all the candidates I know about, has the lowest Death Factor. I don't think all that many folks would die under her presidency. The reality, however, is, that here in the land of alleged freedom, our choices are severely limited to those who will continue the status quo of the system. So, in reality, it will be one of the "Big 3."

Our extremely limited alleged freedom type choices for president are: McCain, Clinton, and Obama.

McCain, a former torture victim in Vietnam, you'd think would be against war. Such is not the case. "Bomb bomb bomb, bomb bomb Iran" (sang to "Barbara Ann" by the Beach Boys). Millions upon millions of folks in other nations and this one as well (war is not the only method to slaughter people, try health care in these here United States) will be slaughtered for the U.S. status quo.

Hillary Clinton is no better. She has had a political career that is clearly dotted with a willingness to slaughter millions of folks for the status quo in order to further her power hungry desires. I couldn't tell you who will slaughter more people if they take the helm of the U.S. genocidal government, Clinton or McCain. Could you imagine the death machine if one became president and the other vice president. You think the world is suffering now!

Obama? Obama has said such crazy things as he would negotiate with other nations. WHAT?! What kind of presidential candidate wouldn't attempt to the desires of mass slaughter by U.S. citizens (who don't have to actually participate in it for the most part)? For the most part, this is generally one fucking blood thirsty nation, mostly because those whose blood is spilt is in other nations. Yeah, we lose some military folks and many come back fucked up, but so what? They are the ones doing the killing so the masses of war supporting pieces of shit U.S. citizens don't have to. Yeah, too, millions of folks die here in the U.S. because of such preventable causes like...The U.S. Health Care (alleged) System. One of many thousands of ways to kill people that can be swept under the rug because they aren't as dramatic as war. Obama's "Death Factor" is far less than either of the other two war mongering assholes, Hillary and John.

So, if I did vote, I'd vote for Obama because of the lower "Death Factor." Doesn't mean that folks won't uselessly or senselessly die under his command...just fewer.

Personally, however, I am gonna continue to put forth great efforts into getting back to the land, creating community, and creating Revolution to create REAL CHANGE, and not imangined change by whom ever you vote into office.

Nomad

When I was a kid, I somehow got it into my head that I had to move every three years. First a house in Raleigh Hills, a house on Deleware St., a house on 8th off of Portland Blvd. in NE, then out to Aloha.

At the age of 10, my third year at our family home in Aloha, I started wondering why we weren't looking for a place to move. Why weren't we getting ready to move? We didn't, and there we were until I turned 21.

I spent 14 years of my life there. My father died while I lived in that house. In the end, my mother informed me in no uncertain terms, that if she were to die with that house in her posession, she would make sure that we would have to pay for it. She wasn't about to let us have it for free. I told her she could keep her fucking house, I didn't want it and wouldn't accept it if she offered it to me.

At 21, she kicked me out for refusing to continue to pay half the mortage and bills when she moved in husband number 2.

That first year I moved 9 times, even for 1 month living in a large closet of a friend of mine. It felt fucking great to me to be a nomad. Able to pick up at a moments notice. Able to work out issues and logistics with new folks. Able to change and move with the times.

I only stayed in one place for over three years once since that day mom kicked my ass out 23 years ago. That was 14th and Taylor in SE with a large beautiful Empress Tree in the tree strip out front and rather horrific times happening inside the house.

Shusli and I are going home. We are taking the first steps to get there to be at our land base and to help our people and live long successful lives in doing so. Filled boxes are all over the living room. Jake the cat is nervous but in good spirits. We are all happy and taking that first big step to getting to the land and staying put, where we should be.

Next year, we should have some property, and we will be settling in for the long haul.

Life is good, and we are happy!

Sounds Like More War!

Turkey has invaded Northern Iraq as of last night. After a bombing attack on the PKK, the Turks say the have launched an invasion of 10,000 soldiers on foot.

Keep your eyes open, folks. Sounds like another war is starting!

Puzzle

We've all,
I'm sure,
played with puzzles
in one form or another.

That wooden ball puzzle of many pieces
Rubic's Cube
Crosswords
Word Finds
Algebra
Calculus

After puzzling over them
and you figure out
one particularly difficult piece
that is when
the magic begins.

It is good to know
what to pray for
before you pray for it.

Sometimes
you need to pray
to know what to pray for
before you pray for it.

I'd been puzzling
as to why
it has been so difficult
for me to write poems lately.

As a self-proclaimed wordsmith
my favorite medium
has always been writing poetry.

I remember
that somewhere in my recent past
I puzzled over this
over a cigarette,
maybe some coffee,
in a prayer.

This piece of the puzzle
reminded me
that I sometimes
have to LIVE the poem
before I can write it.

It is good to know
what to pray for
before you pray for it.

Sometimes
you need to pray
to know what to pray for,
before you pray for it.

STUPID!

After uncovering a plot to kill the artist who made an image of Mohammed in a Danish newspaper, the paper went and printed the drawing AGAIN! This has resulted in riots in several nations, including Denmark where there has been quite a bit of property damage.

So, let me see here...You insult a whole religion by breaking one of their religious laws. The man who made the drawing has an assassination attempt against him foiled. To show your solidarity with a man who has INSULTED A WHOLE RELIGION, you REPRINT the insult in your paper again. And what did you expect?

I thought the U.S. was the only nation full of stupid f***ing morons with bumper stickers like that seen in Coos Bay, "Send the Women In Black to Iraq." Looks like Denmark has it's fair share of f***ing morons also.

I haven't really travelled outside of this country much, other than Canada, so I don't get a chance to feel the full spectrum of STUPIDITY of other nations. I sometimes think, in my isolated way of thinking, that there are some nations with mostly intelligent folks in them. I guess I was wrong.

Happy Independence Day, Kosovo

The President of Kosovo, Hashim Thaci, has declared independence from Serbia via the will of his people on Saturday. The vote from the Kosovar deputies was 109 of 109. 11 representatives of ethnic minorities and Serbs from the area were not present.

Thaci said that there will be no violence against the Serbs in the area and that they will continue to work with Serbia.

Serbia and Russia both object to this declaration of independence. Serbia has declared that this declaration will not lead to violence. The UN is supposed to recognize this declaration of independence on Monday.

May the indgenous nations of the U.S. take example from you, Kosovo, and start declaring their independence and exercising their OWN will in self-governance soon.

In 1999, the Blackfoot Traditional Government declared its independence. It has been a long struggle to bring about recognition of that declaration. But we're still working on it.

I'm Sorry

Kevin Rudd, Australia's PM issued an apology for the "Lost Generations" of stolen Aborigines. What he is apologzing for is the COMMON PRACTICE of colonizing Christians to steal children from folks who are indigenous to the nation they are about to steal the land and resources from. This practice has NOT STOPPED as in the case of the Akha in Southeast Asia. Watch the movie, "Rabbit Proof Fence," to get a tiny bit of an idea what Rudd is issuing the apology for.

We discussed this on "Mitakuye Oyasin" radio program yesterday, and I am NOT ONE to think that this apology means anything but BULLSHIT! This type of apology is like saying "forgive me, Jesus," when you commit a sin. The apology is supposed to absolve the colonialist and gencoidal Australian government of any responsibility toward the people they committed genocide against. Unless there is some sort of follow up to this, all prisoners in Australia should be released for any crime they committed by simply saying..."I'm sorry."

GW's gencoidal daddy, GHW gave us Red Nigg...er...Indians his "deepest regrets." Still, ain't fuckin' shit bein' done. At the time someone said, "It ain't much, but at least it's something." It was not only something, but NOTHING MINUS.

This BULLSHIT apology to the Aboriginal folks of Australia is a NOTHING MINUS until something is actually done.

The Australian Parliament would only authorise the apology if there was to be NO NO NO NO COMPENSATION in the form of money or land.

Still haven't heard if Rudd is gonna pull the Australian government out of its illegal land grab in the Northern Territiories, Aboriginal land, which was started boy genocidal Howard.

You know...people were hanged at Nuremburg for the crime of genocide. Of course, the U.S. government also gave high level security clearances to many Nazi's as well who lived long successful lives helping the U.S. in their genocidal attrocities around the world.

I still want to know where Peter "King of the Cut Throats" Brzica is. Last I heard he came to the U.S. under an assumed name in 1958.

Oh, by the way...I'm sorry.

Cahokia Mounds to Have Garbage Dump Nearby

During "Mitakuye Oyasin" radio show yesterday, we received a call from a listener that Waste Management is going to create a garbage dump near the Cahokia Mounds in Western Illinois. The go ahead was given back in December.

Nothing is sacred but money to this society.

Happy V-Day

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!

Don't worry, I'm still gonna eat you tomorrow.

Now, for your Valentine's Day PLEASURE...

Some dick and bush!

Pet Peeve

At a hippie fest this last summer, Shusli and I went to a presentation about global warming given by a fella whom I believe did the Al Gore school of "I'm Gonna Run for President in 2012 and Want to Look Like I Honestly Give a Shit to Get Your Vote." It was a devastating power point presentation (can you say "a peace prize couldn't hurt my chances, either), that us until it was explained to the audience that the "Founding Fathers" could be called upon to send us great energy into being creative enough to end this problem. Afterall, isn't that what the "Founding Fathers" would do?

I wanted Naomi Wolf's book, "The End of America" for my birthday. I wanted this book so bad I was tempted to go out and buy it before my birthday. I was patient, and Shusli, being the wonderful sweetie she is, bought me a copy. The book is about the fascism being enacted by the U.S. government against it's citizens using examples of fascist states historic and current, primarily the Nazi's. Considering the U.S. so greatly Loved the Nazi's even as they slaughtered U.S. citizens in "the great war," I thought this would be a very interesting book. However, as I read along, Naomi frequently calls upon "the ideals of the founding fathers." Her premise is to return to the ideals of the founding fathers. This type of shit drives me nuts and I can't finish the books as I'm being told how these horrific assholes are some of the greatest folks to have ever existed in history.

Let's discuss these superior ideals of these alleged great white men.

Women, of course, were second class citizens OR LESS. Women, by these idealistic and superior white males, were mostly considered property of men. Thus, women were not only excluded from voting in the initial stages of the alleged greatest nation to have ever existed, they were also excluded from participating. Women were also treated horrifically in the work place and often raped. Not much has changed.

Jefferson was a slaver. Now there is a great ideal, don't you think, Black America. Jefferson, an Idealistic Founding Father, was also a slave holder. Many of these founding type folks were either slavers or complicit in slavery. Genocide was often used in collecting slaves, wiping out whole cultures in order to benefit, in part, idealistic wealthy white men who found nations such as this one. Read some of the history of slavery from the viewpoint of slaves...mighty horrific this ideal of the Founding Fathers.

The founding fathers were also genocidal. One of their ideals, according to that great founding father and slave holder Tom Jefferson, was to "annihilate, exterpate, assimilate, or move west of the Mississippi" all Indians. Those idealistic founding fathers were a buncha genocidal creeps.

Reading Uncle John's Bathroom Reader, I came across the bar tab after the signing of the U.S. Declaration of Independence. These idealistic fellows sure Loved to drink.

I was listening to Howard Zinn yesterday from a CD of a lecture he did at Reed College a few years back. Seems the ideals of the founding fathers were to create a constitution in order to basically keep the masses shut the fuck up while the white male elites committed their crimes against peace, crimes against humanity, war crimes, etc., all to create greater masses of wealth for themselves. When James Madison was asked what he meant by "we the people," he said he meant "We," the wealthy white elite propertied males. The rest of us aren't considered people.

The reason, it turns out, that there was even a Revolution (if you want to call it that) in this nation was because the wealthy white boys no longer wanted to pay tribute to a king. They wanted that money for themselves. And, like in all wars, the wealthy folks con the non-wealthy (thus non-human, "beasts" is what they called us) into doing their fighting for them. When folks refused to, there was a time when George Washington had his men kill their fellow Americans for refusing to fight for the wealthy white elite male founding fathers.

Another interesting fact about that idealistic founding father, genocidal George Washington is, when he was leaving office, he robbed the U.S. treasury. These idealistic fellows were indeed some of the most inhumane worthless wealthy pieces of shit to have hit this nation and ain't much changed.

IT'S VALENTINES DAY, LET'S TALK ABOUT SEX

The only founding father I have ANY appreciation for is Benjamin Franklin, patrly because he didn't commit genocide, he was very interesting in his ideas and inventions, and the man Loved to Fuck. Ben (we share the same birthday) it is said had 72 illegitimate (if you use that type of term) children. He and his wife were free thinkers and very open sexually and often participated in sexual pleasure with others or in orgies in France, so I've heard. To me, there is something very important about someone who desires to share pleasure with others in such an intimate and mutually agreeable circumstance. It's not my bag, but I know Ben Loved pleasing women in that most inimate and basic way.

Another person whose work I admire is Martin Luther King, Jr. Martin Loved to Fuck. How do we know Martin Loved to Fuck? J. Edgar Hoover, demon piece of shit that he is (and great American hero), got audio recording of Martin fucking women other than his wife. Seems that Martin Loved making women happy in that most intimate of ways, but also violated an agreement with his wife.

Funny thing about J. Edgar, a horrific gay bashing official as head of the FBI, had an interesting photo of him. Seems Meyer Lansky got a hold of a photo, maybe even had it taken, of J. Edgar with his side kick, Clyde Tolson's dick in his mouth. That is a photo worth circulating on the internet, as horrific as that would be. J. Edgar with his buddies cock in his mouth. A few days later, J. Edgar said publicly there was no such thing as a Mafia. J. Edgar also liked wearing red dresses and blonde wigs and go by the name "Mary."

PLEASE STOP!

Please stop invoking the alleged ideals of the founding fathers. These are YOUR ideals. Put them to work. You have your own ideals. Work them. Fix the kinks. Continue to move forward. YOU HAVE THE POWER. The ideals folks attribute to the founding fathers are there own.

The founding father ideals, from everything I've been educated on in personal research and the research of others, I personally would see fitting PERFECTLY in with what is going on in the U.S. today. Genocide, indentured servitude, keeping the masses in fear and shut up, stealing the wealth of other nations, everything for the elite, etc.

Alexander Hamilton, founding father whose face is on the $10, wanted a monarchy, but after having the constitution explained to him and how it would basically keep the people shut up via their various representatives, he became RELUCTANTLY for a democracy.

Think about these things, folks. TAKE YOUR OWN FUCKING POWER AND USE IT! You, my friends, are the founding MOTHERS and Fathers of this world. Act like it. Don't act like those guys whom folks allege to have had some higher ideals. Their ideals were to create wealth for themselves and their fellow elites. Nothing much has changed. Use YOUR ideals and change the world.

A Question of Morality

Steven Spielberg has resigned as artistic advisor to the Chinese Olympics due to pressure from activist type folks. Seems that folks don't like the Chinese because of their support and involvement with the Sudanese government that is currently and has been for a while, committing genocide against folks in the Darfur region.

Still no word about activists going after John Bolton, who as ambassador to the UN, made sure that talks were delayed on the subject of Darfur because he knew nobody was going to do shit about it. Therefore, the U.S. is in direct complicity in the case of the genocide against the folks of Darfur, and there will be no call to get Steven Spielberg to move out of the U.S. and to some other nation that isn't complicit or committing genocide...like...Antarctica.

And there is still a rare discussion anywhere about the fact that over 200 U.S. coporations supported the Nazi's during WWII: IBM, Brown Brothers Banking, GE, Ford, GM, etc. Any moral discussions gonna happen around the issues that many U.S. corporations are complicit in the genocide of the Jews, Sinti, Roma, Gays, Lesbians, Jehovah Witnesses, etc., during the years the Nazi's were in power in Germany?

There is almost no discussion anywhere, other than from the Indians in BC, that Canada, another great purveyor of morality and human rights (sarcasm, in case you aren't recognizing that), is building their 2010 Winter Olypics shit on sacred Native grounds. Feh...just a buncha red niggers being attacked by another genocidal nation nobody is gonna do anything about.

For many reasons, I'm no big fan of the Olympics. OK...I'm no fan at all. The Olympics in and of itself is a corrupt organization created to make a whole lotta money for some already wealthy and unworthy assholes at the expense of folks that moral folks are gonna say nothing about. But to consider the resignation of Spielberg as some sort of moral victory is moronic at best.

We, in the U.S., live in one of the most horrific and genocidal nations ever to have existed. All it takes is a little research. The information IS available.

One more thing...80% of Christmas decorations are made in China. I assume that the same folks that put pressure on Spielberg to quit the Olypics will be boycotting Christmas decorations here in the states. I can't wait to see that campaign.

Sauvie Island

Shusli and I went to Sauvie Island on Sunday in which I took these pictures. We were looking for eagles. The last three photos are of the only eagles we saw, standing in a tree from some four hundred yards. The last two are details of the photo with both eagles.

Funny thing...I was driving home from Springfield yesterday around 1pm. I saw two eagles just before Brownsville in a field of sheep. One had its head down like it was eating something, the other looked like it was standing watch. I was amazed at this site and wasn't sure what to think about it.

Exxon's Billionaires and Millionaires Don't Have Enough Money

Through litigation, Exxon is strong arming Venezuela to produce more oil that will benefit the billionaires and millionaires of Exxon and screw, well, you know, those worthless fuckers who never had the gumption to become billionaires and millionaires.

So, Chavez is threatening to stop shipping oil to the U.S., which, of course, WILL NOT effect the billionaires and millionaires.

The good news is (besides not effecting billionaires and millionaires), is that the billionaires and millionaires who are causing this problem will get away with this crime against humanity. While we at the bottom will get fucked, those at the top will still be enjoying their excessive privilege at OUR expense. Why?

Because here in the U.S., folks won't hit the streets or their politicians nor their criminal corporations for any reason. We'll get maybe a dozen or possibly a couple of hundred of protesters, but folks in the U.S. are so complacent (left to right, back to front) that the wealthy folks are indeed going to get away with their crime while we suffer.

Whatever you do, don't make the corporations nor the U.S. government that they own fear you nor do anything to create real change that will benefit anybody other than, say...billionaires and millionaires.

Here's to not seeing any folks in the streets!

Can you say..."AARRRRRGGGHHHHH!?"

...I knew that you could.

METAPHOR OF FRUSTRATION

About a year ago, I bought a '91 Buick Century Custom for $500. I was very proud of myself for having saved the money and done the work. Now, I am proud of myself for different reasons.

About two months ago while driving home from work down Lombard, I pressed the brake to the floor to find it BARELY responding only when it got all the way to the floor. This was my first serious problem since purchasing the car. Turns out that a brake line was damaged and needed replacing.

One day after picking up Felicia for a visit, the car was smoking heavily when I got to her home. I figured it was the radiator which needs to be replaced. On the way home, it died in the middle of the road. Luckily, I got the horse on the road again and got the beastie home.

Since then...I've replaced the coil packs, battery, and alternator. Though these things certainly helped the electrical problem I was having, it didn't seem to fix the running problem and I still can't take the thing any great distance.

I'd been trying to get a hold of the mechanic who did my brakes because I knew he needed the money and I didn't have the tools and skills. He never got back a hold of me.

I found out from the folks who changed my battery and alternator that my valve cover gaskets were leaking and right onto my spark plugs. I figured I'd change these things using a friends tools. I mean, how hard can it be to remove a few things and clean and scrape and replace. Turns out...PRETTY FUCKING HARD!

Not finding the mechanic fella, I decided to get myself some tools, some $230 worth, a Chilton manual for the car, and the proper parts, including a thermostat to hopefully help with the running problem.

Yesterday, with all the proper preparation, I set to work on the car, only to get so far to find that in order to remove the bracket that covers the front valve cover...I have to remove the whole housing on the top of the engine and at least to fuel injectors JUST TO GET TO THE FUCKING BOLTS which I could get a wrench on...but not move.

I realized, it's time to get another $500 car. One that I could fix on my own should the need arise. One that I don't have to remove half the engine to replace a $14 part or spend hundreds if not over a thousand dollars to get a REAL mechanic to fix.

So, here is the metaphor, and then onto a sales pitch:

Only with much more effort and many more resources than I have would I be able to make things work here. I have plenty of good tools and put in plenty of good effort and resources, but something really needs to change to make it work.

My car can get me a limited distance, pretty much like living here, and can probably do this for a while, but eventually...it really just isn't going to work.

Armed with the tools I have, I need to change the ride that I am on. In this case, getting the heck out of Portland and moving closer to our land base with my sweetie.

There's more, but now is time for the sales pitch.

I HAVE STUFF FOR SALE


The above photo is of my Horton Hunter Crossbow. I am asking $300 for it. It, sadly, has never been fired, but maybe that just might work out for you, eh?

This is Felicia's former bunk bed. It is strong and sturdy. I am asking $150 for it.

I am not just selling these things because I need a new car, the Buick will still get me back and forth to work, but not a whole lot more. These are also resources I don't use. I have never used the cross bow and no longer use the bed, and we need to kind of get those things out of the way as Shusli and I move on.

Any interested takers on the blog here can contact me at: kbooindian@yahoo.com.

I'm ready for an adventure.

If you have been reading Shusli's Blog, you know that she is looking for work in either Coos Bay or Crescent City. By the looks of things, we will wind up in Coos Bay. It is so cute the way she wrote her goodbyes to the great city of Portland, Oregon.

FRUSTRATED

Many things here have been frustrating me lately.

My work is going well, no big deal.

The weather has been driving me nuts. In the last month or longer, there have been few days of no percipitation. Where we are, it snows but it is rain/show and nothing sticks so it is like being teased. We have to go somewhere else to have snow fun. Kind of like we have to go somewhere else to expand our lives in this world.

Taking part in Indian media, 1 radio show, 1 tv show, in this area, no matter how liberal or revolutionary minded things are on these forums, Indians are one of the last issues considered in my opinion.

On the radio we lost OVER 40% of our programming when the combined the radio show I host with the other Native radio show. Plus, we are pre-empted about 5-8 times a year. This is done most of the time with no regard to the fact that we Indians only have 1.5 hours of air time a week.

The tv show used to be 4 hours a month, was reduced shortly after I started hosting to 1 hour a month. A reduction of 75%. This show has only been pre-empted some 3 times that I recall. Twice for a moving of the studio. Once because of meeting there was a contractural agreement that cut into 58 minutes of our 1 hour. But the show, however, replays throughout the month so we did it anyhow and were told it would be aired more frequently than usual.

It is extremely difficult to get Indians interested in media even though they can come down and play a part in both shows on the radio and the show on the tv. Few people in this town have been consistent in attending the shows. No Indians are interested in starting new shows. No Indians are interested in expanding the current shows we have going for us. I have gone to a certain youth organization in town several times to try and garner interest. Once I was asked to speak to a large crowd of their recipients, only to be put off until almost all the youth were gone. No one is interested and the regular media folks find it easy to push aside Native programming because aint no one gonna fight for it.

Felicia has currently lost almost all interest in being part of my/our lives. She no longer comes over on weekends, and I let that stand because she has and undoubtedly will make life as much of a living hell as possible for us. That has become her style towards us since I have laid down the law to try to stop her persistent thieving and lying.

LONG DISTANCE

Because of our decision to get the f**k out of Dodge, there may be a bit of a long distance relationship for Shusli and I, possibly for up to a year.

It is not as easy for me to find work (good work at that) as it would be for Shusli. Therefore, I am going to try to get my Class B CDL. If I should do this for my work, we would have a "gentleman's agreement" that they could take advantage of that for a certain amount of time. I do not like the idea of not working. Driving is what I do best.

I am also gonna try to get a certain type of license that may help me make a few bucks on the side. I have no idea if I can get it, yet, but I am gathering more information.

I may also try to talk my work into sending me out to Medford once a week in which Shusli, while down south, might be able to take advantage of my overnight stay and come and spend the night with me.

The "Long Distance" will only be temporary, and quite possibly add to the strength behind our forthcoming adventure.

WHAT I'LL MISS

I'm told there isn't a whole lot of culture in the CB area. That I'll miss. However, that doesn't mean that we won't carry some or a whole lot down there.

I'll miss my friends, especially Maire and Donovan.

I'll miss Felicia, but I already miss her. She doesn't return my phone calls and for the last week, only her mother has talked with me.

WHAT I WON'T MISS

I won't miss the excessive traffic noise rallying outside our windows every day. Even in the middle of the night (I'm up at 1:30am), there are excessively noisy vehicles frequenting the road that runs right by our house.

Traffic is really horrible in the area, and when it isn't horrible, one finds oneself often stuck behind drivers that find it rather difficult to drive the recommended speed limit.

Won't miss the drug dealing that continues right in front of our house, though with less frequency AT THE MOMENT since the busting of the house a few doors down.

Currently, I don't even write about subjects I used to write about intensely. I feel very little motivation. I'm tired of this election because it clogs up all of the news all over the world. I can tell you the outcome right now...THE SYSTEM WINS! The only thing that changes is the name of the person one believes to be in charge. Still, millions of folks will be senselessly killed, millions more will senselessly have to suffer under the U.S. empire.

WHAT I LOOK FORWARD TO

Shusli and I have a great connection. We often find each other saying what the other is thinking. I believe that will become stronger as we walk through this adventure because we are both burning out here and life, though successful, is snuffing our our lights.

I look forward to being somewhere different. I've been in the Portland area for 42 of my 43 years. I need a change.

I look forward to being close to our homelands, the redwoods, our peoples, and frequenting all of these things.

I look forward to be refreshed in the world.

I look forward to buying a house with my wife as the continued strong market in the Portland area (one of the few areas in the nation), will prevent us from ever getting a house. Houses are affordable in Coos Bay and Crescent City.

MEDIA

Shusli worries that I won't like our new adventure. I guarantee her I will, but she still worries, and that is understandable. The biggest issues for her regard my work in the local media here. As mentioned above, you all know how Indians get treated even in the community medias here, and how Indians don't fight to strengthen, continue, build upon, or start new shows. There are 30,000 Indians in this area, and due to the lack of enthusiasm expressed during the cutting down of our times in the local medias, I can almost guarantee you that none will raise a voice once I'm gone. This is not an ego thing, it is a statement of fact based upon the past and current lack of motivation from my fellow Indians to participate or even show interest in media and getting the native word our, let alone defending what we have. It just isn't there.

How I got involved was when I was asked by the host previous to me to read some of my poetry on the air. I did this several times before the man disappeared from behind the mic during one of his shows. A white man respectfully held the time slot open for Indians. One day he showed up some 45 minutes late, I drove down there during my work when I heard him on the air. I asked if he wanted me to read some poetry on the next show. He asked if I wanted to be the co-host.

It was fear, folks. Fear that motivated me to go down there. Fear of losing that time slot for Indians. When I leave (and I will be leaving), there will be no fear. David Liberty will have the TV and radio shows open. John Talley and crew will keep the other show going. No one will be afraid of losing those time slots for Indians. There will be no motivation for anyone to come down and participate nor defend nor expand on Indian media.

The only thing that would have kept me here no longer pivots on me. There are others who will take care of it, and though there is a tiny amount of danger of losing these programs, it isn't enough to motivate others to building upon what we have. The lack of enthusiasm from my fellow Indians is something that is also motivating me to want to leave. There may be the occasional, "What was that fat guys name who used to say all that shit on the radio all those years ago?" but honestly, there will be little else and I will be forgotten because I am not what is important here.

You see, I am no longer fearful that Indian media will be lost. It is like us Indians. We are pushed aside onto reservations and into the fringes of U.S. society. We are still here, but no one really cares. Same with Indian media. It has been pushed aside into the fringes of media society, but no one is concerned because it is in no danger of dying.

So, within a year (most likely this summer after Shusli and I go to China), I will be bidding a fond farewell to Indian media. I might be missed, but it won't last long as Indian media still has somewhat of a toe hold and therefore since mere survival is insured, no one will honestly care that my presence is no longer there after a few months, that is for the few that may miss me on these programs.

I am ready for a change.

That doesn't mean I will be shutting up anytime soon. It means I will have to engage a different type of audience and have to use or create different methods of engagement to garner their interests. The folks I will have to deal with down there are set in their ways. Shusli and I will not be appreciated at least to an extent. But that means we will have to be creative. We will have to engage our minds in ways we are not able to do here. We won't have the strong support like we do here, so we will have to be careful. Revolution will come, and we will do our parts. In small towns like these, it will be great exercise for our minds and souls. It will be a type of exercise we don't get here, and the change, like I said, will require us to be creative in how we do things. May be tough, but undoubtedly will be more rewarding than the frustration we are facing here.

So, there is my introductory farwell, as my farwell from P-Town may be a little more extended than Shusli's, but I will be leaving and I will be leaving the media as well. Although Shusli has suggested that I try to make my work schedule go around my media schedule and come up here two or three times a month, I have no intention of forcing the issue on a new work place. Once we are both out of Portland, I will not be going out of my way to make it to any of the shows I am currently participating in.

So there is my letter of intent to leave Portland with my wonderful wife, to leave Indian media, and to carry on a long distance relationship with my daughter who currently wants nothing to do with me.

Pinchot Snow, pt. 1 of 2, Starting With the Cutest Picture First

Pincot Snow, Pt. 2