Obligatory "this was actually yesterday" but you get the idea.

So, I have a 16yo dog, 10yo daughter, 6yo son and 4yo son.

My task list for the morning is:

1. Drop off youngest at daycare

2. Drop off middle child at elementary school

3. Drop off oldest at middle school

4. Drop off dog at senior doggy daycare

5. Pick up coffee for myself and wife

6. Return home with coffee

I did:

1. Drop off youngest at daycare

2. Drop off middle child at elementary school

3. Drop off oldest at middle school

4. Pick up coffee for myself and wife

5. Return home with coffee

Now the discerning reader will note that my task list has 6 items but my executed task list has 5 items. However, the engineer in me would say that I successfully completed the story since the definition of done was "return home with empty car and two coffees". My wife is a product manager and tells me this is stupid but WTF do product managers know, right?

Anyway, turns out middle child took dog with him when he left car. I was talking with older daughter and didn't notice. Once I dropped her off the car was empty so I went to get coffee. Again, in my defense... ok, I have no defense. I totally spaced out and it's completely my fault hence I'm posting here on TIFU.

The worst part was showing up at Doggy daycare in the afternoon to pick up the dog and having them say "what dog? You didn't drop her off today". I nearly had an anxiety attack on the spot but that's also when I checked my voice mail so it worked out pretty quickly.

Anyway, the dog spent the day with my kid at his school. They did in fact try to call me once (maybe twice but according to the story I told my wife it was only once!) but I was on calls so I didn't notice. It's a small private school so things went ok and my kid's class was highly entertained. Dog loves kids and treats and got plenty of both so she was fine. In fact, they even send her home with a daily report card which I found entertaining. For the record, she did well in reading but not so well in math and does in fact play well with others.

TL;DR dropped dog off with kid at kid's school. All involved had fun.

today I thought I could save a few bucks and have a little adventure by giving myself a DIY haircut. Spoiler alert: it was a terrible idea, and now I'm living with the consequences. I watched a couple of YouTube tutorials, convinced myself that it couldn't be that hard, and armed with a pair of scissors and misguided confidence, I went to work on my hair. Long story short, my hair now looks like it had a battle with a lawnmower, and I'm pretty sure I unintentionally created a new fashion trend - the "accidental avant-garde disaster cut." I started with a simple trim but ended up with uneven layers that would make a modern art masterpiece jealous. The more I tried to fix it, the worse it got. At this point, I'm seriously considering investing in a collection of stylish hats to cover up my shame. To make matters worse, I have an important Zoom meeting tomorrow, and I can already imagine the horrified expressions on my colleagues' faces when they see the catastrophe that is now my hair. I guess the bright side is that I inadvertently became the office clown. Lesson learned: DIY haircuts are not for the faint of heart, and I should have left my locks in the hands of a professional. Now, I'm contemplating whether to wear a paper bag over my head until this disaster grows out or embrace the chaos and pretend I meant to join the avant-garde hair movement. TLDR: Tried to save money with a DIY haircut, ended up with a hair horror show that not even a professional could fix. Meeting my colleagues on Zoom tomorrow with a head that's a work of art in all the wrong ways.

Happened yesterday.

So I have severe endometriosis and grow very large ovarian cysts. For the past couple months I have had an ovarian cyst that I was waiting for surgery to get removed, along with my entire ovary. The cyst was about the size of a grapefruit at last ultrasound. My doctor had advised me not to lift anything too heavy or do anything too strenuous, as that would increase a risk of it rupturing.

Last night I had something to carry from my car. It was about 10 pounds and I was too stubborn to wait for help and didn't think 10 pounds would be too heavy for me to handle. Well, I was wrong. I lifted the object from my car and immediately I felt severe, sharp pain. I knew the cyst ruptured or twisted on my ovary. I doubled over and immediately went into fight or flight mode. At that point, it seemed more logical to get in my car and drive to the hospital than to walk back inside and get my phone to call for help.

So I drove myself to the hospital, wailing and crying the whole way. It was about a 25 minute drive. I parked my car and had no idea how I was going to walk all the way inside. But I was still in flight or fight mode and somehow managed to get inside. The last thing I remember was a nurse helping me into a wheelchair and I don't remember much after because I went into shock.

Many tests and a blood transfusion later, I am home from the hospital and doing better but still so sore. I have major anxiety just thinking about it and worrying about it happening again. It was hands down the most painful thing I ever experienced.

TL;DR: Had a massive ovarian cyst. Was told not to lift anything heavy but I didn't listen. Cyst ruptured and I was hospitalized for severe bleeding and treated for blood loss and an infection.