EVERYthing?

Well-known moose-botherer and grandmother of two Sarah Palin rails against mean people.

Besides letting us know that bloggers are nasty, she also reveals that she named her daughter Bristol because she was too scared to move to a different city.

Palin also wishes she had more input into strategy during the election campaign. Stupid advisers knocked back her idea to replace the vice-presidential debate with a cross-country caribou-back race.

If there's one thing we need more of...

It's world leaders who can also teach you martial arts.

I want you think, just for a moment, about how futile it is for us to keep trying to maintain the supremacy of the West, in the face of Vladimir Putin, a man who is not only ruthless and ambitious, but who is a black belt in judo.

It should come in especial handy next time he rears his head over Alaska. I can see him, as he parachutes from his biplane into an Alaskan forest, beng confronted by Sarah Palin toting a 12-gauge and leading a crack battalion of Bear-Mounted Mooseketeers. "Surrender!" she'll screech, and Putin, with a wry smile, will flick the cigarette from his lips, crack his knuckles, and...

HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-YAAAAAHHH!

Take THAT, biatch!