Too good to delete . . . 12 years a draft post

On the bus going home

"For you, Terry, the World Cup is over."

Football quote of the day

Ooh, I wish I'd thought of that:

"Wayne Bridge has just texted John Terry, "That's how you play away from home you ****""

That wee gem of wit comes courtesy of 'Smackhead' and the comments section of the Guardian's report of today's game.

Does that qualify as 'esprit du tunnel'?

Whatever happened to John Terry watch?

It's still lurking about out there. Happy to pop up with links to old photoshop when the mood arises.

Terry's all told

He never did get over missing that penalty in Moscow.

Hat tip to a poster on Urban 75.

John Terry Watch (3)

Mickey Mouse is thrilled to bits that he finally gets to meet in real life the guy whose face has been on his wristwatch all these years.

Pic courtesy of Kickette blog.

New Search Toy

Found via the sitemeter comes finderFACE, ". . . a homegrown web site devoted to keeping tabs on people in the public eye here in the UK. Every day the site scans Google News, Amazon Products, Flickr Photographs, YouTube Videos and Blog Posts to provide all content relevant to a person on a single page."

Amazingly enough someone found the blog via a John Terry post. Who'd have thunk it?

Just typed in "George Galloway", "Tommy Sheridan", "Noam Chomsky" and "John Rees" and nothing came up. Nada. Can you believe that? Doesn't finderFACE realise that those are the four most important people in the internet universe? Granted, I only reached that conclusion myself after doing a survey of Harry's Place, Kamm-buy-hooray-yah and er, that's it, but surely the decentists wouldn't lie to me?

Ok, it appears that fF is at the baby steps stage, so I'll cut it some slack. To get a flavour of it, I think I'll click on the random button to see which five celebs it will offer to me as people I need to know everything about in the here and now.

Here goes:

Franz Beckenbauer Fine. No complaints from this corner about the choice of Der Kaiser. Euro Championships starts next week, and I watched him being interviewed on an ESPN programme that is part of the build up to the tournament. The original Becks insists that the West Germany team that won the 1972 European Championship was the best ever German team. Better even than the World Cup Champions of 1974, and by the following European Championship, the West Germany team that lost to Czechoslovakia in the final on penalties were an aging team by that point. Before my time, so I'll take his word for it. OK, who's next up?

Damien Hirst Need an eye check up. At first glance, I thought it said Damon Hill. Yeah, whatever, not that bothered. See when the enfant terrible of the modern art world dies in sixty years time (see I don't wish an early death on him or anything), I'll hear the news and my first thought will be: the bloke who directed the crappest video in the history of pop music has just died. No thoughts of formaldehyde or a pharmacy will cross my mind; just that crap video for that shite song . . . which will be ironic because I will be thinking those thoughts via my disembodied head which has been preserved in formaldehyde and will be sitting on the shelf of a Futurama like Pharmacy. Moving quickly on (and away from that piss poor joke). Who's next via the random button?

David Bowie OK, what's the Thin White Pluke up to these days? I know he lives in New York but we hardly shop in the same deli. Mmm, this looks interesting, David Bowie: 'PAUL WELLER, GIVE ME MY HAIRCUT BACK!'. Never knew that Bowie and Weller have been known to have crossed words. According to the linked to NME snippet, it turns out they've traded barbs in the past in the music press but Bowie is now being concilliatory after Weller briefly left 1966 and moved his time machine to 1972 to check out some new acts. Apparently Weller digs Bowie, and he has said as much in recent interviews . . . but there's no word back yet on what he thinks of Chicory Tip. Bowie's accepted the olive branch and even said by way of a joke that Weller should give him back his haircut. That'll be the one that Weller sports today, and which Bowie claims he was wearing back in '67. Word of warning to Bowie that he is on a slippery slope with the requests to other entertainers for giving things back. As I write, there is a séance taking place in a boarding house in Westcliff-on-Sea and the ghost of Anthony Newley is asking David Bowie for his career back. Moving on to the next celeb. Maybe finderFACE will find a female celeb this time. 0/3 isn't good going.

Frank Carson Frank Carson? Who has editorial control over compiling these lists? Stuart Maconie? OK, I now know that Frank is still alive. Fair play for still cracking the funnies at the ripe old age of 81. And I now know that he's of Italian descent, and that there once was a 'Little Italy' in Belfast. What else? His nephew is on the books at Sunderland FC as a promising goalkeeper and Frank's the director of Chasetown FC. (Think I already knew that 'cos of Chasetown's recent FA Cup run.) What else can I say about Frank? . . . nope, that's it. Maybe, with the last push of the random button, the website will acknowledge 51% of the population. Here's hoping.

Napoleon Bonaparte OK John Terry . . . Der Kaiser . . . Hirst . . . Bowie . . . .Frank Carson and now Napoleon? Guess that confirms my growing suspicion that the website must be an offshot of Nuts magazine. I guess the idea is that you check out the main Nuts website for the female celebs in a state of undress and then, when the mood takes you, you click on finderFACE for a quick two minutes of blokedom. I know that if I'd clicked on the random button for another twenty clicks it would have been nothing more than a merry-go-round of Rodney Marsh . . . Michael Caine . . . Keith Moon . . . Ally McCoist . . . Jonny Wilkinson . . . Lewis Hamilton . . . Liam Gallagher . . . Jimmy Carr . . . Jeremy Clarkson . . . Roy 'Chubby' Brown . . . and Johnny Vaughan. Yeah, not impressed. Back to the matter of the little general? What's to know? Our 21lb Menshevik Internationalist Boston Terrier has a napoleon complex and there's a documentary on Abel Gance that I taped weeks ago and I've yet to get round to watching it. Cheers finderFACE for the gentle reminder.

John Terry Watch (2)

Ye. he's still bawling his eyes out, but I don't remember the painting of the Crying Boy that hung at the bottom of our stairs looking like this.

More from the Guardian's gallery here.

John Terry Watch

Yeah, he's still greetin' and bleatin'.

Someone's slipping . . . and I don't mean John Terry

What's happened?

It's nearly 18 hours since the Red Devils defeated the Blue Devils, and I've yet to see Uri Geller turn up on the news with a Man Utd scarf around his neck and a claim that he had something to do about that penalty miss.

Someone's slipping . . . and I don't mean John Terry.

Just In: Chelsea's new sponsors for the 2008/09 Season

As recommended by John "Man's Man" Terry:

"In a season where I've played a central part in my club failing in the Community Shield, the Carling Cup, the League and the Champions League at the final hurdle - and where I also contributed to England losing out on qualifying for the European Championship - I find from frequent use that the 3 ply Kleenex Extra Large White Tissues is my sob rag of choice.

I know now to never leave the dressing room without first stuffing a box down the front of my shorts. I just wish I'd had two boxes for last night in Moscow."

Hat tip to the John Terry Fan Club for the pic. Britain's fastest growing fan club. Special membership rates for people signing up in the SW7 area.

John Terry: Careful Now

Genius

Hat tip to an Urban 75er.

John Terry's mind is on other things before that fateful penalty

"Whatever happened to that bloke who wrote 'Smash Cash'?"

Weekly Bulletin of The Socialist Party of Great Britain (47)

Dear Friends,

Welcome to the 47th of our weekly bulletins to keep you informed of changes at Socialist Party of Great Britain @ MySpace.

We now have 1253 friends!

Recent blogs:

Coughing up cash

If This Be Treason . . .

Blast from the past!: 'Smash Cash'

This week's top quote:

"That's just a lie we tell poor people to keep them from rioting in the streets." Gabrielle Solis in Desperate Housewives, [In response to the claim that money can't buy happiness.]

Continuing luck with your MySpace adventures!

Robert and Piers

Socialist Party of Great Britain

(Photo credit: ALEXANDER NEMENOV/AFP/Getty Images)