Church
· Nov 19, 2023
· 56
Baptist Pastor Gives Disclaimer That Any Lyric About Lifting Up Your Hands Is Strictly A Metaphor
BIRMINGHAM, AL — Pastor Donald Rogers of Second Baptist Birmingham started today's service by unveiling a new church disclaimer that any lyrics abou...
Life
· Nov 19, 2023
· 56
San Francisco Mayor Reminds Everyone To Get Their Christmas Shoplifting Done Early
SAN FRANCISCO, CA — With Christmas just around the corner, Mayor London Breed of San Francisco encouraged residents to get their shoplifting done ea...
Latest
'We Cannot Be Associated With Elon Musk,' Says Tim Cook While Shaking Hands With Brutal Chinese Dictator
World · Nov 17, 2023
· 115
Local First Baptist Church Softball Team Signs Shohei Ohtani To 10-Year, $600-Million Contract
Sports · Nov 17, 2023
· 67
'I'm On The Right Side Of History,' Thinks College Student In Front Of Dorm Posters Of Stalin, Hitler, Osama Bin Laden
Education · Nov 17, 2023
· 108
Jack In The Box Declares Bankruptcy Minutes After Snoop Gives Up Weed
Life · Nov 17, 2023
· 69
New 'Jordan Peterson On The Shelf' Doll Watches To Make Sure You Clean Your Room
U.S. · Nov 17, 2023
· 92
Chick-Fil-A Adds Tire Rotation, Oil Change, Car Wash, Tax Service To Drive-Thru Lanes
Life · Nov 16, 2023
· 73
Buzzing
Theology
· Nov 17, 2023
· 79
Satan Announces Early Retirement Thanks To TikTok
HELL — The world is in shock today after the father of lies abruptly stepped down from his role as "the adversary." The Devil credited the astonishi...
Business
· Nov 16, 2023
· 221
Target Releases Trans Muslim Chinese Quadruple Amputee Santa
MINNEAPOLIS, MN — Target executives announced this week the most intersectional Santa decoration ever, a limbless and not-so-jolly blob of an elf.
Education
· Nov 17, 2023
· 123
Osama Bin Laden Given Honorary Posthumous Doctorate From Columbia
NEW YORK, NY — Alumni past and present gathered at the steps of Low Library on Columbia's Morningside campus in New York City to celebrate the award...
Sponsored
· Nov 16, 2023
· 100
Republicans Have Unveiled These 10 Spending Cuts Totally Guaranteed To Balance The Budget
Republicans are back in the driver's seat in the House of Representatives, which means wild and excessive government spending will finally be brought ...
Latest Videos
Must Read
Sponsored
· Nov 15, 2023
· 161
The Bee Has Obtained The Biden-Controlled FBI's Top 10 Most Wanted List
Under Joe Biden, the FBI is laser-focused on hunting down the most dangerous people in the country, the worst of the worst. And now, they need your he...
Entertainment
· Nov 16, 2023
· 99
Daily Wire Quietly Cancels Their Upcoming Little Mermaid Remake Starring Candace Owens
NASHVILLE, TN — Formerly in production for Daily Wire's Bentkey video service, an upcoming remake of The Little Mermaid starring Candance Owens has ...
U.S.
· Nov 16, 2023
· 83
Californians Set Up President Xi Dummy So Newsom Will Keep The Cities Clean All The Time
SACRAMENTO, CA — In a clever ruse to trick Governor Gavin Newsom into keeping cities and streets clean all the time, Californians set up a dummy of ...
Politics
· Nov 15, 2023
· 170
Communist Dictator Welcomes President Xi
SAN FRANCISCO, CA — On the freshly scented avenues of San Francisco, a summit was held today between one of the most feared communist dictators in t...
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Spirit Halloween Sets Up Shop On Empty Grocery Store Shelves
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· 108
David Platt Completes Construction Of Tunnel To China Cored Through Center Of Earth
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· 4
Playskool Unveils 'Vaccinate Me Elmo'
Entertainment · Nov 7, 2021
· 153
Gun Shop Asks For ID In Clear Case Of 2nd Amendment Suppression
U.S. · Mar 27, 2021
· 72
Support Grows For All Of Congress To Be Permanently Relocated To Cancun
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· 51
AG Garland Issues Memo Calling For Investigation Of Terrorist Senators Who Harassed And Intimidated Him At Hearing
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· 121
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Premium Content
Premium
· Nov 17, 2023
· 95
What Is A Woman? We Aren't Sure. But Buy This Shirt For Womans Anyway
We were having a conversation in our Slack channel the other day, and I said, "Hey, we should have one shirt for women. Maybe one of those cool racerb...
Premium
· Nov 16, 2023
· 63
Rejected Headlines Part XIV
Here we are — another week, another fresh pile of steaming rejects from the writers' room at the Babylon Bee!
Premium
· Nov 10, 2023
· 115
Meet The Bee: Jonathan O'Hara
You've read the articles and laughed, or at least pushed a little air out of your nose. Now you can meet the people behind your favorite Christian new...
Premium
· Nov 8, 2023
· 75
Rejected Headlines Part XIII
It's time once again to have a look at some of the headline pitches conjured up by the writers at The Babylon Bee that didn't make it to the finish li...
Greatest Hits
Hillary Clinton Accidentally Posts Condolences For Tulsi Gabbard's Suicide One Day Early
Politics · Oct 23, 2019
· 12
Trump 2020 Campaign To Simply Air Unedited Footage Of Democrats Talking
Politics · Jul 16, 2019
· 10
Cracker Jack Changes Name To More Politically Correct Caucasian Jack
Health · Jun 17, 2020
· 108
Pelosi Preemptively Announces Articles Of Impeachment Against Candace Owens
Politics · Feb 10, 2021
· 105
Democrats Warn We Shouldn’t Reopen The Country Until We Can Be Safe From Trump Getting Credit For A Good Economy
Politics · Apr 27, 2020
· 15
CDC: People With Dirt On Clintons Have 843% Greater Risk Of Suicide
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· 75
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