Amazed, he takes the money, puts a bag of 10 pork chops in the dog's mouth, and quickly closes the shop.
He follows the dog and watches him wait for a green light, look both ways, and trot across the road to a bus stop. The dog checks the bus schedule and sits on the bench when a bus arrives, then boards the bus. The butcher follows, dumbstruck. After a while, the dog stands on his back legs to pull the yellow stop cable. The butcher follows him off the bus.
The dog runs up to a house and drops his bag on the step. He goes back down the path, takes a big run, and throws himself WHAP! against the door. He does this again and again. No answer. So he jumps on a wall, walks around the garden, beats his head against a window, jumps off, and waits at the front door. A big guy opens it and starts cursing and shouting at the dog.
The butcher runs up and screams at the guy, "What the hell are you doing? This dog is a genius!"
The owner responds, "Genius my ass! It's the second time this week he's forgotten his keys!"
![](http://web.archive.org./web/20231019075021im_/https://external-preview.redd.it/2HQ_Y52NnNoalaQmkC4E_DkU3YFwNQhCpOlZnK9cz6g.jpg?width=640&crop=smart&auto=webp&s=525522999f159f03fbd6c0ac367c6ebd9731e4af)
![There’s lots to like about legal cannabis](http://web.archive.org./web/20231019075021im_/https://external-preview.redd.it/2HQ_Y52NnNoalaQmkC4E_DkU3YFwNQhCpOlZnK9cz6g.jpg?width=640&crop=smart&auto=webp&s=525522999f159f03fbd6c0ac367c6ebd9731e4af)
Suddenly the boy starts choking. The father realizes the boy has swallowed the coins and starts slapping him on the back. The boy coughs up two of the pennies but keeps choking. Looking at his son, the father panics and shouts to the bar's patrons for help.
A well-dressed, attractive and serious-looking woman in a blue pantsuit is sitting at a table in the corner, reading a newspaper. At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her cup down, neatly folds the newspaper and puts it on the table, gets up from her seat and makes her way to the boy. The woman carefully drops the boy's pants, grabs hold of his testicles, and starts to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly.
After a few seconds, the boy convulses violently and coughs up the last penny, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand. As she turns to walk back to her seat, the father rushes over and starts thanking her.
"Thank you for saving my son, but I've never seen anybody do anything like that before. Are you a doctor?"
The woman replied, "No, I work for the IRS."
“Here’s to spending the rest of me life between the legs of me wife!”
That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!
He went home and told his wife, Mary, “I won the prize for the Best toast of the night”
She said, “Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?”
John said, “Here’s to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church
beside me wife.”
“Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!” Mary said.
The next day, Mary ran into one of John’s drinking buddies on the street corner.
The man chuckled leeringly and said, “John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary.”
She said, “Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he’s only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come.”