UPDATE: This happened a few hours ago. I only posted it like an hour ago.

I am honestly shocked and appalled at most of you picking at me for having a boundary against actual cuss words. I am also embarrassed that most of you felt that I should disregard my own consent when it comes to sex, sorry, not happening. If she only stuck with calling me out on my behaviour, I wouldn’t have left the house. Maybe cussing out is regular in your marriage, but I am not the kind of person who has ever been okay with polluting my tongue and treating each other with so much indignity.

Many of you are making a deliberate attempt to refuse to understand there’s a difference between cussing at each other and using swear words as adjectives “I fucking got the job” is different from “fuck you”

Call it silly, pearl clutching, whatever. I am not here to get judged on my boundaries so save your judgement for the situation that’s actually asked a judgement of. Boundaries are not right or wrong, they are personal, and valid if both parties agree on it, and my wife does. Nobody has any right to question anyone’s dealbreakers if they work for them. It’s as bad as cheating to me.

To people who are personally doing the giant favour of telling me to “fuck off” - I don’t care 🤷‍♂️

So after a few hours, I had cooled off and processed whatever happened, and went home. I apologised to my wife for not being communicative enough and for calling her a truck driver, but I felt that me sticking to my guns about cuss words was valid, and she agreed. We both agreed that boundaries have consequences and I trust her enough not to do it again. She apologised for taking me for granted, as I had been pampering her all this time with massages and food cravings.

She told me her hormones and bodily insecurities does not mean she gets to lash out at me, and understood why I had hang ups about having sex with her. I promised to treat her better as a romantic partner and not just as the mother of my children, as she felt that the massages and cravings were simply “preggo perks”

She told me she wouldn’t demand sex until after she gives birth, until then we agreed to treat each other with more love than ever.

She also is going to engage in breathing exercises with me to reduce snoring, and until that’s figured out, I will be sleeping in my office, but I will cuddle with her and show my love before we sleep.

The deal is, WE BOTH FESSED UP. In different ways. And we made up.

Thanks all. Hope you all get the day you deserve

My wife is 5 months pregnant. We are elated to be parents and have been preparing for our baby. Lately my wife has gained a healthy amount of weight and she has started snoring really, really loudly like a freight train, to the point I experience sleep deprivation.

I even woke her up sometimes during the night but all she does is get cranky and blames me for how tired she is as she’s pregnant. She has also gotten very body conscious due to the weight gain and it doesn’t help I don’t desire having sex with her. I mean I love her and we still hold hands and stuff, just that I feel uncomfortable with us being sexual.

I figured why not sleep in my office? We have a spare mattress and I usually work there and have started sleeping there. The office and our bedroom share a wall and I still hear her snoring because it’s so fucking loud, to the point I bought a white noise machine. Her snoring also turns me off sexually so it’s part of the reason I don’t desire her that way.

My wife has also gotten very moody and I understand that hormones are a part of it. We have bad days but yesterday night she had a complete meltdown over me sleeping separately and spending money on the white noise machine. We have a joint bank account and she noticed there was a purchase (50 dollars) to Amazon. She angrily confronted me and cried why am I not acting like a husband and treating her like she’s an inconvenience?

I told her, that I bought the machine and set up my sleeping space to accommodate both of us. She needs not be woken up and I can also sleep better. She said I was lying and that I think she’s unattractive, accusing me. I tried to reassure her but she was having none of it. She pushed and cornered me until I had to set her straight:

“Maybe if you didn’t snore like a truck driver I wouldn’t have had to do this. Plus you’re growing our baby so I can’t imagine having sex with you this time”

She completely ripped into me and screamed her head off. She cussed me out “Fuck off” so I fucked off and went to my brother’s place. She had been calling and pleading for me to come home but I didn’t take her calls.

I texted her “Until you can manage your constant meltdowns I am not coming home. I managed your food cravings, made you feel at ease by removing myself from our bedroom only to get cussed out. You have disrespected me and it was one of my dealbreakers you forgot. Call your mother to help out. I can’t support you when you’re acting like a brat. You’ve got enough personalities to keep me occupied full time.”

AITA?

IMPORTANT EDIT: I can tolerate anything as long as it’s not verbal attacks and F bombs. I made it VERY VERY clear to my wife when we were dating that I would never tolerate a partner cussing me out. It’s the greatest form of disrespect for me and a dealbreaker. She knew it, and the fact that I once broke up with my ex because of it.

We have been to a doctor and she said it’s normal for a pregnant woman to snore. She has suggested a few things and exercises but she hardly does anything about it. Rest assured she told us this is only temporary.

ETA: I work 50-60 hours a week at a consulting gig. I need my sleep and earplugs simply do not work for me. My wife is currently on a sabbatical from work and I’m going to be the primary breadwinner for the next several months.

Sleep is important to me as my work is stressful.