Me(44m) and my wife(43f) are married for over 2 decades. But I was not sexually satisfied for majority of marriage. I stayed because of kids. My youngest is about to go to college in about a year and I planned to divorce my wife soon after that. I thought of just telling her afterwards but I felt it was shitty to spring it on her like that so I told her that we are getting divorced as soon as youngest leaves home. In this way I thought she will have time to prepare herself mentally.

When I told her, she could not believe it. I think she could not process it so suddenly. Then when it actually hit her, she started crying, arguing and stuff. Not gonna lie, it took me by surprise too. Did she not see it coming. Turns out she did not. She started blaming me that I did not tell her that I would just leave otherwise she would have made more effort. She thought I was okay with amount of sex she was giving me.

I could not even get myself to argue at this point. I told her over and over again for like past decade that I am not sexually satisfied. She would just get defensive or ignore me. I am also not being opaque about my divorce plans. I have started getting into dating shape, hitting the gym and stuff. I told her that I am not arguing it with her anymore. I told her she did not listen, my responsibility is over.

Then she started talking about how she was busy raising my children. Which she was and I was too, she sacrificed her marriage for kids, I sacrificed my happiness. I chose it I do not regret staying because of kids. But now I want to live for myself.

She keeps telling me that I should have told her I would leave her, that I was not happy. I did give her ultimatums in fights. But even I knew I will not leave kids so I never really gave her a serious ultimatum. I knew I would not follow through. I guess she knew too.

Now she is doing trying to have sex but I am not really interested. I am neither in love with her, nor I am attracted to her. She has "let herself go". She said she will start taking care of her weight and she will become beautiful to me that she will have all the sex I want.

I am happy for her that she is taking care of herself. BUT I am not interested in her anymore.

She is begging me to give her a chance, that she will make it right. But I dont really wanna stay with her. I think I dont want her anymore. I dont love her.

Edit: Many People are asking about chores and stuff and whether she is SAHM. She is not a SAHM, we both handled chores and childcare almost equally.

Edit: Looks like mods locked the comments. If they unlock it again, then I will reply.