Xander had been killed? Apparently, that was the original idea, with Brandon playing the First for the rest of the season. Because the way everyone acts at the end of the episode is just so intense that it feels like, during the rewrite, no-one got around to toning down the action and the dialogue. Sure, they got beaten and Xander was permanently crippled and disfigured because of a bad plan that Buffy came out with but they were still alive and capable.
Imagine the scene with the same dialogue and intensity but, this time, Xander was actually killed. Suddenly, it makes a lot more sense as everyone is just completely distraught, Anya's scathing speech to Buffy has all the justification in the world as she lost the man she loves and is lashing out, Dawn lost the only person who she thinks sees her and is lashing out, Willow lost her oldest friend (for the second time due to the whole Slayer thing) and is lashing out.
It's not necessarily Buffy's fault but everyone will have lost a whole lot more and will not be thinking clearly nor will they be acting fairly.
What do you think?