imfromvenus223

I do a biweekly budget and give myself around $200 for miscellaneous expenses. So that could be things needed for my home, car, clothing, gifts, etc. I don't wear much makeup but if I need something I use that fund.

It's never to late to change! <3 Doing drugs and drinking and sleeping with strangers is not healthy and they aren't great decisions. You seem to be trying to forget some sort of pain or hurt and to do that you are doing extreme things that will make it worse.

Cut ties with anyone in your life that is toxic and will enable you. Stop drinking and doing drugs immediately. If you feel like you can't stop , then look into local resources for addiction. Seek therapy as well. If you can't afford it get a second job to pay for it. You can't party if you're too busy working and focusing on healing and growing up.

Face your shame and start loving yourself! You're in for some emotional labor but I promise that you will thank yourself later. You've got to take back the control in your life. You can do this!

I always bring a bottle of wine or something when going to a friends home for dinner.

You get to be the fun aunt! Think about all the cool ways you will get to be involved!

Not a WOC but I just love hearing/reading about women homeowners and those on the journey to becoming a homeowner. It took me so long (37) but my home is my peace and I hope that for all women, especially WOC. ❤️❤️❤️

I LOVED turning 30. At 35 I felt like I really knew myself. I'm turning 40 next month and although I don't have the body I did at 20, I have never been more confident. I'm one of those crazy cat ladies who also is financially secure and a condo owner. I made lots of mistakes in my teens and 20s but I've more than made up for it. I'm excited for you to go into your 30s!!!!

Here is my advice but obviously ignore it if you are already doing it or have done it:

1. Get completely out of debt and have a 6 month emergency fund.

2. Get a really good primary care doc and gyno. Mine is both and she has been incredible. If they don't listen, leave them and find a new doc until you have the right one

3. Do the same with a therapist even if you only end up using them as a check in a few times a year. It's been helpful to keep my trigger in check and heal from them.

4. If you date, do it slowly and watch how they treat the people around them and you. Don't ignore red flags and if you just aren't feeling a connection, move on and don't waste your time or theirs.

5. Set a goal and write out how you want to hit it. What you focus on you win at!

6. If you want to travel or go do some fun activity, don't be afraid to do it alone. I waited years for my friends to catch up financially and realized that they just had different priorities and that's ok! I don't wait anymore and if people want to join me they can otherwise I'll go alone. I've gone on a cruise with a friend and several long weekends out of state with another but couldn't get anyone to go overseas with me so I am doing it with a tour group.

7. If you hate the company but like your job, find a new company and do that job there. Don't stay and hope it gets better, it won't. If you hate your actual job, switch departments or find a different job entirely.

8. Have fun! You aren't old in your 30s, but if you don't want to do something it's a great excuse lol.

Awww that's so cute. I remember my bf at 14. We went to grade school together and my parents knew his (smaller town). He was fun, funny and good to me. We were basically best friends who hangout with all the same people. It just sort of fizzled out and dated again around 16. We remained friends all through high school before I moved away.

He loved my mom, so the fact that she did a good job back then of being sweet to him was really important. It wasn't until she started making impulsive opinions without meeting my future bfs that our relationship started to become strained and I started hiding the things from her. I now know she was projecting her own feelings and issues on me.

I'd say be open to listening and remember that sometimes they don't want advice, they want to vent. Offer advice but wait to see what she wants. Obviously if the situation calls for parental intervention than do what needs to be done, but start with trust. You've got this mama!

Depends on the reason. If it's crocodile tears during a breakup they caused, yes it's annoying. If it's genuine it makes me feel closer to them because they are getting vulnerable.

I did! I moved from Arizona to Oregon back in 2011. The first year was the hardest but I've never regretted it.

My bestie and I are planning to buy land and put modular or prefab homes on the opposite sides for privacy. We want a barshed in the middle where we can have bonfires and what not. It's truly the dream that when our married friends husbands die, they will join us lol.

Lol I bet he'd be so surprised and happy. 😃

Seriously! I had gallbladder surgery back in 2018 and didn't have anyone to help me so I ended up ordering like 5 things from the store and it cost me $30 so now I just keep everything in a little box in my pantry just for sick days. Future you will thank past you lol

Hahaha! I will have to try it!!! Sounds delish!

I agree with others who've said no to the bare minimum. My bare minimum is the happiness and peace I get by being single and living alone. If I am accepting a man into my life he had better improve my life just as I would want to improve his. Lots of laughter and intimacy. Lots of deep conversations about the world and each other. Lots of road trips with us singing terribly (bonus points if he likes the same music as me). Lots of goals setting and future planning. Trust, admiration and respect. Lots of and lots of LOVE. As someone with a lot of love to give, I mostly want to BE LOVED.

There are lots of personality traits, habits, and lifestyle choices that I would not admire and respect which cuts out a lot of men from even being an option. At my age, I recognize this may mean I never date again or marry. I have accepted and made peace with that.

I'm going to be really real with you. I don't even care as it's my comfort beverage lol. I appreciate your reply though. :)

I have a little box of snacks, lozenges, zzzquil and other miscellaneous meds ready. Just realized I need to add saltines and ginger ale.

I do. I'm very good to myself lol. If needed, my bestie lives 2 doors down from me. Things are easier now with the ability to have groceries and over the counter medications delivered right to your door. If I was seriously ill, like needed a nurse situation, my mom would fly here in a heartbeat.

Can you share a little more about what he does after you try to end things? I know everyone else seems to be so firm on once you end things, they are done, but things aren't always so black and white.