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I (F55) had been married to my husband (M60) for 20 years before he died. It was cancer.
He had two kids from a past marriage who were in their early teens when he married me. I had a 7 year old from an earlier relationship as well. We didn't have anymore kids.
I tried to treat my step children as my own but they never accepted me. They were very rude and insulted me whenever they could. Since I did not work they called me a gold digger who married their dad only for his money.
The truth was my grandparents were quite wealthy and left me a lot of money when they died. I lived well below my means and chose to stay home and raise my daughter, since I could afford that. I did not need his money at all. But I didn't bother sharing this with his kids and told him not to either. I did not want them to like me just because they might gain monetarily from me.
My husband on the other hand hated how they behaved with me. Their blatant disrespect made him not pay for their College tuition. Their mom couldn't pay for it and they had to take loans for it. They didn't even talk to him.
Even when he got cancer, they refused to come see him. For three years we struggled with the treatment. My daughter came to visit from time to time, when she could.
During this time only person who really helped both of us was someone we were not related to at all. This girl in her late 20s waitressed at a cafe we frequented. She was a single mom, taking classes at community college at night, working during day and raising her two kids. She took a liking to us and when she learned my husband was sick, spend whatever time she could visiting him. She has stayed nights at the hospital when I needed a break and basically been the daughter we wished for.
When he died, she helped me arrange the funeral. His kids came on the day and all they wanted to know was about their inheritance. I felt sick.
When I learned my husband has left his estate to me, (whatever is left after settling his bills, and it was around $25000), I decided to give it to the girl who helped us both so much. She tried to refuse but I insisted she take it. She needed it and in my opinion deserved it more than the ungrateful children.
My daughter understands why I did not give it to his children but is upset I did not give anything to her either. I told her she already had money and a job. Not to mention she will get my inheritance. This was in no way her money.
But his ex wife and kids are causing havoc over this and really upset with me. They are calling me AH for giving away money they deserve.
AITA?
