EDIT/DISCLAIMER: THIS IS NOT A POST INTENDED AS ADVICE. THIS IS NOT A POST TELLING PEOPLE WHAT TO DO ABOUT THEIR TRAUMA OR HOW TO FEEL ABOUT THEIR SITUATION. AND THIS IS ABSOLUTELY NOT TO THE TUNE OF SILENCING ANYONE ABOUT ANY PART OF THEIR EXPERIENCE. THIS IS SOLELY RELATED TO BEING CONSIDERATE AND NOT ATTACKING PEOPLE ON THIS SUBREDDIT IF THEY ARE NOT DIRECTLY RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR ADOPTION EXPERIENCE, WHATEVER THAT EXPERIENCE MAY BE. I would NEVER invalidate or silence someone in relation to their personal experience. If you cannot see that this is ONLY a wish as someone who has been disrespected not because I intentionally attacked someone, but simply for existing in the role I play in adoption, for there to be more consideration and respect FOR ALL and FROM ALL in discussing adoption, the exact same as respect should be had in conversation about any other difficult sensitive topic, then this post is not for you. Please, absolutely speak freely about your experiences, but please also don't direct your anger and trauma at someone you do not know if they did not say something deliberately insulting to you to deserve it. If you feel insulted and it wasn't the clear intention of the person, they do not deserve to be attacked in your response. If you feel attacked by my post by picking it apart, assuming that I think I know anything about anyone here, you are sadly misinterpreting it as a whole. The general response assumes that my post is directly about adoption, when it's only a post about healthier conversation that happens to be in a subreddit about adoption. I'm not sure how I could make myself any more clear after this.

We can all agree that there will inherently be struggles for adoptees, birth parents and adoptive parents alike, regardless of anything else. Please consider whether or not your trauma relating to adoption goes beyond that, and if so then it is likely to be far more accurate that the negativity surrounding your personal experience and opinion derives from the individuals directly affecting you and your life, rather than the concept of adoption as a whole. And please for the love of sanity keep that in mind when discussing adoption as a subject in itself and/or someone else's differing experience outside of your own. If they are not directly, clearly, deliberately and personally attacking you or the validity of your lived experience, then you are not justified to do so either. Respectful difference in opinion is not a solid argument to assume that someone believes their point of view, or you and your point of view, are a fair and superior blanket statement that can be applied to everyone in adoption equally. With the rare exception of opinions that are very literally and evenly inclusive and considerate to the entire spectrum of variables that have the possiblity to occur, (as I am doing my absolute best to achieve in this post as to not be contradictive, I apologize if I failed to include anyone;) something that is difficult for most people to arrive at and agree upon in emotionally driven responses. It's a repetitive theme in this subreddit, and in life for that matter, for someone to project and weaponize their own trauma against others as a coping mechanism. Ultimately creating a negative, potentially hostile discussion and harming everyone involved, including themselves, in very complex ways. It's heartbreaking. This is a place where we can talk TO other people about adoption for the purpose of venting, community, support, education, insight, etc. We should not be here to take advantage and abuse the ability to talk AT people about it...