r/lgbt: Reddit's home for the LGBTQ+ community

Hi! I am a lesbian. I know this may sound stupid but due to a certain event I am not really comfortable talking about I have developed a trauma involving dicks. Because of that if I were to date a transwoman I would like to know if she has had a bottom surgery before it gets too serious. However I feel like I would come off as transphobic asshole if I were to ask that. Of course I would ask that question only if it gets serious not when I first meet her. Trans women are women and I don't want them to feel any different than cis women. Would you ever ask a cis woman if she has had a bottom surgery? No so I don't see why I or anyone would treat a transwoman any different. But I would still like to know because of the said trauma. So... when is the right time and what is the right way to ask this? Is it okay to ask at all???

Sorry for my terrible English