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Today I Fucked Up

r/tifu

4.3k
Posted by14 hours ago
Bless Up (Pro)

Since living with my girlfriend through college and onward, I've always been amazed at the sheer amount of water she drinks. Like... I thought if I were to drink that much, I might as well be drowning myself. Cut to us starting our new job(s) out of college. Out of pure chance, we were both hired on at the same workplace doing the same job. We had worked together at two jobs prior with no issues and with great bosses- we just work well like that.

I've been going through some medical troubles with my throat over the last year and have been constantly carrying water around with me wherever I go to help suppress the feelings I get. To be honest, I really didn't drink all that much water before these issues. I might drink water with crystal light or flavorings, but I despised plain water. It isn't realistic to just carry flavorings with me everywhere now though, so I learned to start accepting plain ol' H2O.

In an office job where a group of us have our desks open to each other, it is pretty apparent when somebody gets up. You know, because I can see them stand up and walk out of our little group. I see some people that get up once, sometimes twice through the day to refill their cups. Sometimes they walk down to get coffee or a soda in ADDITION to water. Seriously? They're drinking that much?

Then I get curious. I've always heard you're supposed to drink several cups of water a day. I've heard 8, I've also heard that isn't all that accurate. I've also heard that if you just DRINK WHEN YOU'RE THIRSTY you'll be fine... Thirsty? What IS thirst? I drink water because I feel like I HAVE to, either to wash food down or to suppress the feelings I get from unrelated throat issue. But... legitimate thirst? How is that identified? If my throat or mouth is dry, one sip takes care of it right? I ask my girlfriend, "Hey, what do you feel when you're thirsty?" She gives me something of a definition of thirst, dry mouth, so on.

I start thinking back...

  • If I'm not careful and actively setting reminders, I will go a whole workday without drinking more than half a bottle of water.

  • She's told me before that my pee smells, but I guess I've just become desensitized and it's ALWAYS smelled like that even after I drink "lots" of water.

  • It isn't often by any means, but I just get random headaches some days. I've always attributed them to lack of food or lack of sleep (and it is often the latter, I'm a night owl).

  • My cousin had introduced me (us) to delta-8, and recently after having taken a bit more I've started feeling sick to my stomach the following day.

I think... I've been dehydrating myself for years.

I've always thought to drink when I'm thirsty, but I just... never really recognized thirst? Only an inherent need to drink when eating. Sometimes a drink is tasty and I'll gulp it down, sure. I'll slam a Gatorade or Powerade. But I was easily drinking somewhere around 40-60oz of liquid a day every day for years- nowhere close to what is recommended, and only a fraction being actual straight water. MAYBE if it was a particularly warm day I would drink a little more, but I digress.

I get an app on my phone solely for tracking liquid intake, and the next day I start tracking it for real. I put in my body info and it recommends I shoot for ~111oz of water a day. Sounds good, I'll just make sure I'm casually sipping throughout the day.

4.3k
787 comments
5.4k
616
Posted by10 hours ago
Coin GiftTake My EnergyStarstruck

Well. My cat found out that she likes to lay in the sink. That was fine. I showed her that the sink is where water comes from. She decided she liked that even more. So sometimes I would turn the sink on so water could drip down and she could drink it or she could play in it. Sometimes she’d start crying when I turn it off and she’d paw at the handles. I’d apologize and give her another toy and move on.

Apparently that wasn’t good enough. I went to lay down and I heard her meowing in the bathroom. Go to check—she wants sink time. I say sorry, it’s bedtime, no sink time right now. I lay down, and she keeps meowing at the sink. I fall asleep.

Not even an hour later I wake up and something is off. I have a nature trail video on in the background and for some reason it sounds like it’s raining, but it’s not on the screen. And then I hear her splashing. And then I put my glasses on and see it. Giant wet spot on the carpet. Right in front of the bathroom.

Then I see her. Splashing around on the floor. Because there’s water all over the floor. The bathroom is completely flooded. Water is pouring out of the sink, which has the cold water turned all the way on, and now has a stopper in it. How did she get the stopper in there??? How did she turn the water ALL the way on????

Carpet is completely soaked in front of the bathroom. She threw litter everywhere so that was awesome to clean. Four towels later and everything is still slippery and wet. Little bastard is so smug. We turned the water off for that sink. Taking no chances. Never again.

Right now I’m cleaning up water. She followed me into the bathroom. She’s in the sink. Licking up the mess she created. I wonder if she’ll show me how she did it.

I love her so much and she is so very smart but dear god why did this have to be how she showed her incredible intellect. I’m so tired. My socks are wet. She’s purring so loudly and I feel like she’s taunting me. With the knowledge that somehow she’ll do it again. No matter what I do. 🥲

TL;DR: showed my cat water comes from sink. Cat likes sink water. Told her to wait until tomorrow for more sink play time. Cat turned water on at midnight and flooded my bathroom. She thinks she’s so cool, and I am suffering.

616
64 comments
6.2k
Posted by1 day ago
PlatinumDoomBravo Grande!
Snsfw
6.2k
541 comments
449
Posted by17 hours ago

As a kid, I played D&D with my cousins. My older cousin would always call "hobgoblins" "knobgobblers." IDK why. He always did it with a straight face, so I legit thought, for a lot of years, that a "knobgobbler" meant an evil, twisted, malicious person. I was in my 20s when I learned that it ACTUALLY meant someone who sucks dick. (Don't come at me, I don't care if you suck dick. I'm actually pro sucking dick, and wouldn't use it as a slur generally). Fast forward to today. My boss is being a total dick and on a rampage. He is holed up in his office just fucking stewing over some shit that went wrong, and firing off threatening emails to staff. I am in a group of people kind of whispering what a dick he is being, and I TRY to say "he's being such a hobgoblin right now" but my mind grabbed the word from my youth, and I literally said "he's being such a knobgobbler right now." One of my secretaries audibly gasped when I said it. I legit didn't even realize what I said at first. Once I did, I was too embarrassed to correct myself, and I just walked away. It happened 10 minutes ago, so I don't know, exactly what is going to happen here. Thanks for listening.

TL;DR - I had a mind fart and called by boss a "knobgobbler" instead of a "hobgoblin" and now I might be fired.

449
58 comments
32
Posted by10 hours ago
Snsfw
32
10 comments
848
Posted byu/[deleted]1 day ago

Basically I have feelings for my coworker. He’s a really nice guy and we have a lot of things in common…but he’s dead set on not having a girlfriend for an respectable and understandable reason. Unfortunately, I’d already developed feelings for him and I wanted to change him mind for some reason.

So we had a get together with all my colleagues and he couldn’t come because he had to study, but wanted to hang out next week. I originally told him no because I didn’t think everyone would want to hang out again that soon. But on the way there I decided to text him and ask if he still wanted to hang out and use it as an opportunity to hang out with him. I was gonna invite a few other coworkers but they told me not to so it would be a date. And so when he said yes one coworker told me to reply saying “ok that’s a date”…

I can tell you I didn’t get the response I wanted but he was very sweet about it. My coworkers told me to lie and say that I didn’t mean it that way and I stupidly did.

But fast forward a couple of days and everything is normal between us and I still like him a bit. I asked him if he still wanted to hang out because everyone was busy until august and he said we’ll just wait til August. But then next day (two days ago) I was in the mood to go out so I asked him if he wanted to go out for drinks the following day…

He didn’t reply.

Now I have to see him tomorrow at work and I don’t know what to do. I’m so embarrassed. At least I no longer have feelings for him but, I should’ve stopped the second he said he doesn’t want a girlfriend.

TL;DR: I liked a coworker who wasn’t interested in having a relationship and when I asked him to hang out, he ignored me.

848
195 comments

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r/TIFU means Today I Fucked Up
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