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This is a rant. I'm so frustrated by my ex, here's the story.

I (33f/a) started dating this divorced guy (37m) two years ago and things have gone way downhill. He used to have a good job at a bank, a good attitude, and only biweekend custody of his two kids (7 and 9 then, now 9 and 11) when this all started. The kids are both special needs and need structure but their mom moved to the other side of the country to leave him behind and he followed to be there for his kids because he prioritizes being near them over everything else. I really didn't see why she would do that to them for a while. (She actually is an awful mom btw.) With my help he went through the hard court process to get half custody but that's the only worthwhile thing I've ever seen him do. He got fired and didn't even look for a new job for 3 months and I had to work a job and a half durring the pandemic to keep us in a shitty apartment and he didn't even clean up after himself during that time. He makes messes and then just leaves everything right where he is done using it. I was kind and understanding because he was depressed at the time but we almost didn't make it. I gave up my D&D games with my friends to work harder. He wouldn't even finish the unemployment application or try to get any public aid. I almost moved out when the lease was up but he had JUST got the kids back and would lose them immediately and have to move back out of state or go homeless. Meanwhile, the kids were just starting to adjust, their mom was forcing them to repress just about everything when it was her week, at the same time she was making three therapy appointments for them each weekly to talk to people about being traumatized and special needs. They were way more comfortable when they had been at our house for even a couple days and cried about going back to her some Sundays. So I signed another lease even though I was fed up with him. He got a job that paid less at a hotel and used it as an excuse to be rude and grouchy ALL the time (because he was tired). Then he cheated on me. Then he begged me to take him back, which I didn't, but I didn't kick him out either since he couldn't afford a place on his own. I gave him until the end of the lease to get his shit together. That was 4 months ago. I got promoted at work. He got fired AGAIN and got a job that pays even less pushing carts at the local grocery. Now the lease is up in a month. I got a mortgage and bought a small condo without room for anyone but me, I get to move in a week. But he's not going to be ok even though I've done everything I can think of to help him get on his feet. He's trying to apply for mortgages and loans even though his debit to income is at about 80% because of all his bad choices, and college debt. He won't listen to me about how he's going to need an apartment and probably a roommate and he's running out of time. I feel awful for his kids but they aren't my kids, and they still have their mom. I'm not even dating their dad anymore. I want to move on with my life. I want to have love and my own kids someday, and at 33 I don't feel like I have unlimited time to put that off. But I feel like a jerk because I know he's going to fail when I don't save him again.

Tldr: my ex keeps sabatoging his life and he's going to lose his kids in a month and I can't stop it but I'm feeling like a jerk anyway.