They are lined up in the yard to be killed. The main guard went up to the Brunette. “You have a choice on how you would like to die: by electric chair, firing squad, or hanging. Which will it be?”

The Brunette replied, “I’ll take the electric chair.”

She was led away by two other guards to the electric chair. She was strapped in and the executioner flipped the switch. The Brunette flinched before noticing that nothing happened. Not even a spark.

“Nothing’s happening,” cried the Brunette.

“What? That’s impossible! How?!” yelled the executioner.

“I don’t know, but maybe it’s a sign?” The Brunette replied.

“A sign from above! This must be divine intervention! Release her!”

The guards followed the executioner’s orders and unstrapped the Brunette, leading her back out. She passed the Red Head as she walked back. She leans towards the Red Head.

“The chair’s not working.” she whispered. The Red Head nodded and she watched as the Brunette was led away. The main guard approaches the Red Head. “I present to you the same choice. Which will it be?”

The Red Head replied, “I’ll do the electric chair.”

754

29 comments

2.4k

Posted by14 hours ago

Blonde

A blond has been hiding that she's a lesbian from her parents for years

She has always been scared that they wouldn't accept her like many other parents do. She was speaking about it to her best friend, who is familiar with her parents.

Her friend said "Are you serious? I thought they knew already, why wouldn't they accept you? Just tell them today".

The blond was nervous but decided to take her friend's advice.

During dinner that evening, she began to open herself to her parents.

"I have something to say to you 2, I have been a lesbian for years now and I've been hiding it from the 2 of you, please accept me." she began.

Her parents looked at each other in bewilderment.

"Why do you think we won't accept you?" her mom said.

"Yeah, are you dumb?" said her other mom.

2.4k

81 comments

961

Posted by

‎

11 hours ago

Long

An Airbus 380 is on its way across the Atlantic. It flies consistently at 800 km/h at 30,000 feet, when suddenly a Eurofighter with a Tempo Mach 2 appears.

The pilot of the fighter jet slows down, flies alongside the Airbus and greets the pilot of the passenger plane by radio: "Airbus, boring flight isn’t it? Now have a look here!" He rolls his jet on its back, accelerates, breaks through the sound barrier, rises rapidly to a dizzying height, and then swoops down almost to sea level in a breathtaking dive. He loops back next to the Airbus and asks: "Well, how was that?" The Airbus pilot answers: "Very impressive, but watch this!" The jet pilot watches the Airbus, but nothing happens. It continues to fly straight, at the same speed. After 15 minutes, the Airbus pilot radios, "Well, how was that?" Confused, the jet pilot asks, "What did you do?" The AirBus pilot laughs and says: "I got up, stretched my legs, walked to the back of the aircraft to use the washroom, then got a cup of coffee and a chocolate fudge pastry."

961

79 comments

2.3k

Posted by

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17 hours ago

Walks into a bar