By Christians For Christians

Often when I try to obey God/draw closer to Him/grow in love towards Him the thing that derails me is a deep-seated anger towards God that asks (really demands to know/exclaims) "why? why does there have to be so much pain in life?". I wish the anger and the question wasn't there, because I can see that it is making it harder for me to progress spiritually/in life. And I do feel like I've made some amount of progress with the question over time, for which I am thankful. But there's still quite a lot in me that doesn't get it, is angry about it, and sabotages the rest of me when I try to persevere in obedience and not sin. I don't even know if the right approach to it at this point is to try to answer the question better or to learn to ignore it and just try to trust God without having it all fully figured out. Or maybe it's both? Anyway I would love to hear from people who have been in a similar place in their walk and who made progress with it about how they made progress with it. Thanks in advance.