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Life Pro Tips

r/LifeProTips

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This is a psychology-based method called self-distancing with quite some research behind it. I picked it up from the Betwixt app and have been applying it to all sorts of situations. What it allows you to do is step back from things in intensely emotional moments so you can get clarity and control of yourself, instead of dwelling or getting stuck in negative thought spirals.

It’s a really versatile technique and you don’t need the app for it, although for me it’s been a great gamified tool for self-reflection. In one study, students were asked to give a public talk which was going to be rated by an audience. And before doing this, they were told to think through their emotions about the challenge in one of two ways:

They either used 1st person self-talk (i.e. "I feel nervous") or 3rd person self-talk – i.e. "John feels nervous". The participants who used the 3rd person felt less nervous, their blood pressure and heart rates were lower and their talks were rated as better.

The reason is that using our own name when we self-reflect gets us to view ourselves from the outside in – and to see the bigger picture and in doing so, we’re able to take a more objective perspective on the situation, separate self from feelings and think more clearly.

It may seem too simple and basic, but I’ve been using it for ongoing challenges and it’s allowed me to keep a more even, rational frame of mind in moments when I get anxious or nervous.

SOURCES:

Study: "Self-talk as a regulatory mechanism: how you do it matters"; Ethan Kross et al. 2014

https://selfcontrol.psych.lsa.umich.edu/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/KrossJ_Pers_Soc_Psychol2014Self-talk_as_a_regulatory_mechanism_How_you_do_it_matters.pdf

The app I’m using (it has a fictional, dreamlike world where you can self-distance while reflecting on yourself): https://gamifiedstressrelief.com/

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Posted by1 day ago
Take My Energy

I suppose it may be obvious, but i noticed it isn't:

  1. you may meet a nice person, but they may just be playing nice o gain advantage or favours, or simply have a hidden, bad side, so be wary;

  2. you may meet a gnarly, grumpy, bitter person who helps others, is dependable and does good for society, while not behaving nicely at all, (or they may just be having a bad day) so don't be quick to judge;


Sometimes nice people do it out of habit, or just because it's easier. Sometimes it is just because of education or simply because it makes your existence chill. In fact being nice is very important for a society to function. Being good sometimes can go against a society. Being good often means dirtying your hands, committing to something and that may be unpleasurable, hence bad attitude, angriness, grumpyness, swearing. On the ither hand many people use being nice as a shell and the cincept of being nice = being good is useful to remain low effort and not actually committing to what being good would require.

If I'll be honest i've been noticing both an increase in people falling for niceness (and often being exploited or just finding out the person they met wasn't who they thought) and/or considering "being nice" as a requirement for "being good". Heck sometimes being good means being angry at oppressors or just gathering strength to rebel against a wrong situation. Other times being good and doing the right thing backfires so much you'll get bitter. Butnif you keep yourself together and your morality intact you remain good. Perhaps you lose all the reasons to be happy tho, so being nice would just be a facade.

Anecdotal edit: many people in my life, including my parents always said, if you have to complain while helping, better not help and i've always been like "hell no! I'm helping, you'll take my compaints, they are free!" (Also complaining is useful as it helps pointing out problems and working on solutions, it's why in the grand scheme of things people protest)

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Tips that improve your life in one way or another.
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