Life Pro Tips
r/LifeProTips
This is a psychology-based method called self-distancing with quite some research behind it. I picked it up from the Betwixt app and have been applying it to all sorts of situations. What it allows you to do is step back from things in intensely emotional moments so you can get clarity and control of yourself, instead of dwelling or getting stuck in negative thought spirals.
It’s a really versatile technique and you don’t need the app for it, although for me it’s been a great gamified tool for self-reflection. In one study, students were asked to give a public talk which was going to be rated by an audience. And before doing this, they were told to think through their emotions about the challenge in one of two ways:
They either used 1st person self-talk (i.e. "I feel nervous") or 3rd person self-talk – i.e. "John feels nervous". The participants who used the 3rd person felt less nervous, their blood pressure and heart rates were lower and their talks were rated as better.
The reason is that using our own name when we self-reflect gets us to view ourselves from the outside in – and to see the bigger picture and in doing so, we’re able to take a more objective perspective on the situation, separate self from feelings and think more clearly.
It may seem too simple and basic, but I’ve been using it for ongoing challenges and it’s allowed me to keep a more even, rational frame of mind in moments when I get anxious or nervous.
SOURCES:
Study: "Self-talk as a regulatory mechanism: how you do it matters"; Ethan Kross et al. 2014
The app I’m using (it has a fictional, dreamlike world where you can self-distance while reflecting on yourself): https://gamifiedstressrelief.com/
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