Ok shortish version. My sister and I were raised vaguely Anglican. Mum was anglican but pulled away from our local church because they were homophobic and she didn't believe in that. Sister also left working at that church for the same reason as she identified as bi at the time. Sister started looking into Catholicism and then our mum had a stroke suddenly last year and my sister was the one who found her and had to take her to hospital alone because the rest of us were too far away to get to her so there is obviously significant trauma there. She died 3 weeks later.

My sister has found her faith to be a big anchor for her and I was all for it but was a little worried about how things were going with Catholics not being a fan of the gays and my sister identifying as bi. I am also bi and have a girlfriend that I live with and love a lot. My sister surprised us all at the start of this year saying she had a boyfriend (a surprise because before that she wanted to become a nun). Anyway the other day she texted me wanting advice on how she's doing with her mental health but mentioned "theres a lot else going on that isn't just mental health that I don't even want to allude to in case you guess". So I was worried she was unsafe or she'd got hard into pro-life campaigning or TERF behaviour but she said no, it was probably worse than that for me because the catholic church views being gay or trans as a sin (my girlfriend is trans). And I'm like well yeah I know I don't live under a rock, but what does that mean for you, are you saying you believe this now? Like initially I was like well if you aren't going to vote for things that will strip my rights and you aren't trying to hurt me then do you. I don't think I realised she was trying to tell me she basically believes this now until she was like "I know hate the sin love the sinner is a cliche but it's true for me". I asked her not to say that to me because I can't change who I am or who I love and I don't understand how you can claim to love someone while believing an innate part of who they are is sinful.

She said she found some of the things I said hard to hear and she is going to talk to some people she trusted but I'm just totally lost like...apparently she identifies as straight now which is cool sexuality is fluid but my family have all been remarkably chill about me being gay I never expected this from my sister of all people and I just have this sick feeling she's too set in this new line of thinking to get out of it and any attempts to make her realise what she's saying is hurtful will just make her dig in that it's sad that I'm a horrid heathen queer and like...if that's the case I don't feel safe or comfortable being around her. We've already been through this with my partners parents so it's like. How much more is my family gonna be fractured? I hate it because I haven't fucking changed and I'm not doing anything wrong I'm just fucking existing and my sister has suddenly decided that's a sin but reassures me "she doesn't think I'm evil" and "doesn't want to be considered homophobic or transphobic". Ok well...don't be a homophobe then.

So yeah. Any tips on how to navigate the gauntlet of a recently converted sibling who now believes totally different things to you please help because I'm at a loss. I want to support her mental health but this entire business has absolutely fucked mine.