My wife thinks I'm an asshole, my buddies are on my side since it was a mistake. I don't know what to do.
My wife Jane loves coffee. She used to work as a barista before getting a corporate job but she carried it forward and regularly makes us coffees with fancy patterns. She has a really fancy espresso machine with a grinder and they're her pride and joy. We often joke that it's the third wheel in our marriage given how much she's interested in the drink.
I thought for an early birthday present, it would be nice to get her a new one. I saw this seller who can refit espresso machines and customise them so I thought it would be nice to get one that has olive and sage green accents. I'm quite proud of myself for thinking of it and it would look a lot nicer in our kitchen. Hers right now is stainless steel and reflective which stands out like an eyesore. So I got in touch with the seller and he agreed and he also helped me refit 2 portafilter handles with olive wood. One of them has her initials carved into it and the other says "Happy Birthday Darling" with a heart. I was going to give her this today and then show her the machine. I also got her a new grinder and had that match the espresso machine. Thoughtful right?
Well there was an issue with delivery so her new machine got delayed. My buddy came by late last night to pick up her machine and grinder which I let him have because of the new one, and then in the morning she would have come down to see the new machine. Now there is no machine. She flipped out asking me what i'd done with it because it was pretty obvious it was missing so I said I'd given it away to my friend because he needed it.
I didn't want to ruin the surprise. She asked me why I didn't think to tell her and I didn’t know what to answer so I just said that his broke and he needed one. We went back and forth for a bit and then she said she was going to go to a cafe and left. She came back and then I forfeited what my plan was and she was thankful but still annoyed I'd given her machine away without at least asking her because it has sentimental value to her (her brother bought her the machine as a gift for landing her corporate job).
My view is that it would have ruined the surprise if I'd told her and the shipping only showed it was delayed this morning. I did message my buddy to see if we could get it back for now until the new one comes but he said his parents are using it and I don't want to inconvenience them over a misunderstanding.
AITA?
Jesus did not think this would be so huge. I am wrong, gonna message my buddy and offer to pay to help his parents buy a machine and grinder for the inconvenience
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Okay, I'm going to bed now. This replies were a lot to read. I plan to apologise to my wife in the morning with her Gaggia and grinder and beans. I also am going to let her set up the Linea and Niche. As some people pointed out, my setting things up might mess with the original settings or something and the setting up is part of the joy of having a new machine.
People who are saying to go and get in my car right now (1am) and get the machine back. I am not doing that because as much as I fucked up with this, it's a separate issue to wake up his parents and possibly neighbours at this time. Me getting the machine now makes no difference to me going over in the morning while my wife is having her lie in or just lounging in bed as she normally does until 10am on weekends.
Also everyone who's saying that my wife should divorce me, things are not black and white. Jane was thankful for the machine. An apology and me getting back the Gaggia will smooth this over because this really was me just being stupid and not thinking.
Thank you all