I (55M) have an arrangement with my wife (54F). We have been married for 32 years and around year 15, the sex life started getting stale. Around that time we were both in our late thirties. Our two kids were in that pre teen funk and my career was accelerating at a speed that I never anticipated while my wife had just gone back to work part time.

All that is to say I was spending a lot of time away from home, my wife didn't seem to mind that, and did not seem to care that nobody was initiating sex anymore.

A few years go by and we wake up at 46 and 47 to realize how much tension there was in our marriage. We finally had the money, house, and friends we wanted, but there was mutual resentment. After trying three therapists we accepted the fact that we were both no longer up to being intimate with each other.

My wife and I agreed that we could both have flings on the side as long as we did not humiliate each other. However, while she did sleep with one other man on and off, she said she was happy being sexless.

Meanwhile, I, 5 years ago, started a discreet relationship with my girlfriend (28F). Over the years I began to have feelings for her. She's had trouble with depression and employment so I pay her rent and buy her some things. My wife isn't thrilled but said she's fine with it as long as the money doesn't make a real dent in our finances.

However, now, maybe as punishment for my unhealthy life choices, I have cancer. That's when I realized a lot of the emotional bonding I've done over the years have been with my girlfriend. I regret the fact that I cannot marry her and wanted to show that I care about the years she's sacrificed for me.

My wife and I signed a prenup because I was going to med school and she in her youth had money problems. It entitled her to half my estate, but the other half I could do what I wished with it. I decided to meet with my lawyer and give 20 percent of my liquid assets to my girlfriend. In addition, she would be given an investment property I had which would yield her about $60,000 a year in rent money.

I told my wife right after I met with my lawyer and she was furious. She said that she tolerated this girlfriend but leaving her money went too far. She said that her main concern was that I was taking away from our kids and they would have to find out about this. I told her that my girlfriend means something to me, even when I tried to not let that happen. And reminded her that she agreed to the arrangement and she would still be getting the bulk of my estate.

AITAH? I manage our finances and a lot of the money given to my girlfriend she will be the only one besides me and my lawyer to have access to. My wife will also get her fair share. And no there are no alienation of affection laws in our state.