I’m so freaking exhausted.

I came to law school as an adult. With adult bills, adult responsibilities (including a child as a single parent), and an adult professional skill set. This whole notion of working full-time, doing work worth probably $100/hour, for absolutely nothing, is insulting, unethical and ridiculous. “The way it’s always been” doesn’t help put the bills.

I got good grades at a T14, but didn’t get any callbacks for an SA. I couldn’t apply that widely because I can’t just uproot my kid like that, so I only applied locally. I ended up taking a clinic gig in something I’m very knowledgeable about from before law school, and am working my ass off 40+ hours a week, learning nothing I didn’t know from my prior career, and making nothing. After that, I’m working my ass off most nights from 5-10 or 11 as a server at a local restaurant, dependent on others’ moods for my wages. Add in a weekend job to that too to make ends meet and I’m barely ever home. While my NY buddies are posting on Instagram their drinks circle at 4:45pm.

Meanwhile my university is going on social media bragging about “guaranteeing summer funding for all students!”… I got just enough in loans I have to pay back to make rent. Thanks a ton guys!

The last three days I’ve gotten home and been physically ill. Muscle fatigue, nausea, headache, and yesterday a low-grade fever. It goes away by morning, but this is absurd. I’m making barely minimum wage (most days) while working BigLaw like hours.

I don’t think I want advice, but I don’t know. I just needed to vent and no one in my circle would really understand. This ain’t right. And I know others have it worse, I’ll probably get that coveted 2L SA gig. I’m just SO EXHAUSTED though.

Never thought I’d be so ready to be back in the classroom.

-edit- I hope I’m never so jaded as to see someone down and say “they could use another kick in the ribs”. Thanks to the vast majority of you though, it’s nice knowing I’m not alone.

And FFS, $100/hour was an exaggeration. Maybe $30-40 though. Still not $0.