What can I get you to drink tonight?

Yesterday during the early dinner rush, there's like 5 open tables on the deck. We have a big white erase board stand that people have to walk by to get in that says "Please seat yourself at a CLEAN" table. Party of 3 comes in, sits down at one of my tables that has stuff all over it. She grabs me and is like "excuse me, can someone clean this table and bring us menus? I know we're not obeying the rules of your sign, sorry." People, I'm talking like plates of food, half beers, my tips, everything just there. The fucking audacity. I just ignored them for 10 minutes while I went and made my salads and soups. They of course tipped me nothing.

Next table comes in, menanites. My SA drops off menus and waters, comes back to tell me that they're ready to order right away. Cool, I was already on my way out to drop a check to the next table, no problem. I get to the table and introduce myself and ask if they want anything to drink and the dude just blurts out "ham and cheese sandwich!" I'm like, "sir, that's not a drink, and we don't even have a ham and cheese sandwich." He asks for Mac and cheese, we don't have that either. I explain we have everything on the menu right in front of his face and turn to his wife and ask her. She's deadass finger leading while looking at the salads page. "Do you guys have any salads?" Yes ma'am, everything on that page you're looking at. I'll give you guys a few minutes to look over everything because I have tables I need to get to.

I had people just moving tables willy nilly, like what the fuck dude, do people just go to your house and rearrange your furniture ??? Then they get upset when I ask them to move them back because they're blocking a whole fucking back section.

Sorry, I just needed to rant. Ahhhhhhhh!

Edit for more rage: had an 8 top walk in with only 2 of the party there. All my deck tables are 4 and 5 tops aside from 2 back tables that aren't protected. They tried moving tables first and I told them they can't do that. They tried moving chairs and told them the same, then told them I have room for them inside. They refuse to sit inside and instead ask me to ask a 2 top sitting at one of the big deck tables to move for them. "I'm sorry, but no, that's rude and I absolutely will not do that" wife agrees that it's rude and the husband gets huffy and storms off. She slipped me a 5 and said sorry as she tailed behind.