ETA: Thanks for the 4.20m views and the 69% upvote rate, everybody. If anyone needs an SEO copywriter, hit me up. I'm looking for full-time work, and that's why I had the time to write this post. In the meantime, the angry nerd tears will sustain me. I appreciate all the other gold and support.

Reading this sub makes me think that most of you here have no idea how typical people play video games.

My wife and I played the beta and the server slam, reaching max level in each. We bought early access, completely no-lifed the early access weekend, and we've played multiple hours almost everyday after work. We are about as close to hardcore as we can get as people with the responsibilities that come with adult life. That said, the game isn't everything. Sometimes we take an evening off for other hobbies, to hang out with friends, or even touch grass or get laid. You know, like normal people.

From what I can see, the absolute majority of complaints about this game come from people whose primary measurement of success is based on their amount of XP earned per minute. As if this number, on its own, along with whatever other measurable variables they feel the need to prioritize, is how they have fun. The bigger the number, the more fun they are having. The faster a dungeon goes from being full of monsters to completely cleared of them, the better the game is for them.

I cannot express how much this is not how the average casual gamer experiences fun. In fact, I'd go so far as to say it feels like the majority of you are just trying to skip this game completely and race to see who can be finished with it the fastest and move onto the next thing. Like, do you also judge the quality of sex by how quickly you're finished? I don't get it. I literally cannot relate.

So, here are my opinions and hot takes:

• I think the storyline for this game is well-crafted, with great voice-acting and presentation. I actually watch all the cutscenes my first time through. I'm still not finished with the story and I have over 100 hours in the game. It's my understanding that many of you just skip this part, like it's not, you know, the main campaign of the video game you bought. If you're just going to skip it, why did you even buy it in the first place?

• I like that the side quests are varied, fully voice-acted, and have some genuinely fun and interesting content. I take my time and enjoy the process, and I like to understand why I'm actually going some place and killing some monsters. It connects me to the story. The main way you folks seem to refer to exploring the map and doing side quests is "The Renown Grind", because you seem to have forgotten video games with narratives exist and genuinely seem to believe there aren't people out there playing these quests because they enjoy them.

• I like downtime in dungeons because I play with my wife and our friends, and downtime gives us time to actually take a breath and chat with each other. Because we're friends, and we actually like to talk about things and catch up on our lives and this video game is primarily something fun for us to do while we're hanging out. This is not a competitive video game. We are not here to win, and the game does not have to demand total focus from all parties at all times.

• I think events and strongholds kick ass and I've had a total blast with them. It's exactly the sort of content you're going to miss if your method of playing the game is grinding the same dungeon repeatedly to maximize how efficiently you finish the game so you can stop playing. Why is it a race for you people?

• Most of you care only about the systems and mechanics and not about the narrative, aesthetics, or other elements of game design. You're worried about XP/minute, DPS, APM, downtime, grinding renown, etc., etc... Mobile video games came along and turned everything into a skinner box where you click the button and get the reward, and you've all had your brains desensitized to dopamine, or some shit. It's like you can no longer just experience something, and you have to analyze all of the fun out of it. Normal people don't do this. You dudes are literally programmed like mice doing tricks for cheese.

• I think many of you are all so busy analyzing everything that you've turned it into a job. I think you have just straight up forgotten how to have fun. I think you're looking for meaning and purpose and accomplishment in your lives in video games, and you put far too much meaning and weight into every little moment you spend in digital environments. Guys, literally none of this shit matters as much as you think it does. It's a video game! Are you having fun? If not, do something else. Plenty of us are having fun, and we are literally not thinking about or even experiencing 99% of all of the things that annoy the hell out of you in this game.

• If you think that other people commenting and saying they're having fun counts as "toxic positivity," you are an asshole. Coming along and ruining someone else's fun just because you aren't personally having the maximum amount of fun per minute is the very definition of being a bully. The absolute essays I have seen in the replies to people commenting and saying they are having fun... It's ridiculous! I know I'm no better right now, but this'll be my one post about it. If Blizzard actually reshapes the game to match the expectations of the majority of the whiners in this subreddit, it'll be at the expense of many of their happy, active players.

The thing is, there are hardcore ARPGs out there you can go back to if Diablo IV isn't cutting it for you. For more casual players, for whom story, voice-acting, graphics, sound design, overall aesthetics, and maybe even the nostalgia factor are all important for, there's nothing out there like Diablo IV right now. If you were to somehow miraculously convince Blizzard to cut half of the role-play elements out of the game, stack all merchants into neat little rows, or allow everything to be done through menus, or whatever else you want, it will be at the expense of players for whom the immersion and adventure is important.

Having said all of this... I realize you hardcore ARPG fanatics are probably just the same way with the video games that you came from. However much you complain about how bad Diablo IV is, and how much better insert game is, I've played enough video games to know you probably almost all bitched just as much about the games that you came from as you do about Diablo IV.

Maybe next time, when you catch yourself overanalyzing the game... Maybe just step away for a while? Go touch some grass? Then come back and play video games when they actually feel like fun again? You'd probably be happier in the long run.