31F. I'm getting married in >40 days. My sister (30F) is refusing to attend my wedding unless I go to at least one family therapy session with her, mom, & our other 2 adult siblings and agree to a set of "boundaries and expectations" that the therapist will set for us. I am very reluctant because I have my own therapist I've been seeing consistnetly for 2+ years, I am planning a big wedding with no help this entire process from anyone in my family, whenever we have disucssions about our issues it quickly goes downhill and I want to be joyful during this exciting time, and most importantly, I already know that we will not see to eye and it would be a waste of time. She has nothing but negative things to say about my finance (33M). Her concern has never been if I'm happy with him, if we love each other, if he's positive and supportive towards me, but her complaints are always about how SHE doesn't like him. She's claimed for years he has wronged her and harassed her and that because I refuse to discuss his behavior with her, therefore I don't care about her or her feelings. He has not contacted her in a year but in the past, the ONLY reason my fiance would contact her in the first place would be following my sister treating me poorly, making me cry, leaving me out of family gatherings, etc. and he would call her out on it. Unfortunately their personalities clash and the conversation would end up with BOTH of them saying hurtful things to each other. However, in every instance, my sister would claim she was the victim of harassment and try to talk to me about everything my fiance did wrong. Sometimes she even would try to talk to me about something he supposedly did to someone else that had nothing to do with me or her. I refused to engage in these dicussions for several reasons: 1, I think they were BOTH in the wrong when the conversation broke down into a fight, 2, I do not beleieve in speaking negatively about one's SO to anyone on the outside, and 3, I believe it's best to go directly to the person you have a problem with. She disagreed and thought because we were in a relationship, it was my responsibility to "fix" his behvaior and became very angry every time I would end these conversations. She has had the same complaints for YEARS. I know we aren't on good terms but I decided to take the high road and still include her in my wedding process after we got engaged. I gave her a bridesmaid proposal box for Christmas that I had to send in the mail because she hosted family Christmas and purposely excluded me. She responded by saying she can't be in my life because by refusing to ackowldge that my fiance was "wrong," therefore I condone his actions and I don't care about her feelings, so she can't be part of my life. I agree that family therapy would be helpful, but I personally believe these issues can't be resolved in just a few weeks. Its unfortunate that she probably can't attend my wedding but I want to focus on our big day and celebrating with those who are happy for us. Every time I talk to her it's extremely upsetting and my fiance is the one who has to pick up the pieces.

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Posted by8 hours ago

AITAH for being angry with my bridal party

Need to Vent

A year ago my husband and I had our wedding. After proposing he went into the military and I ended up planning most of it on my own since we had to do long distance and could only communicate through letters during training. My bridal party was made up of my young sister who is not involved in this mess and a 3 cousins, one of which was my MOH (f25). A couple of months before the wedding I was able to move to the state my husband was at.

My MOH said she would plan my bachelorette, they said they were going to cover my costs for a trip somewhere in the Caribbean but I suggested staying local to them at her moms hotel in Manhattan to keep costs low for everyone. They agreed to staying local but then seemed like they didn’t want to cover my costs so I bought my flight myself. (Nothing was ever directly said, their statements went from “we want to take you to Mexico for your bachelorette” to “ Have you bought your flight yet?”) A week before my flight my MOH informs me we need to push our plans back a week because my other bridesmaid is celebrating her daughter’s birthday the weekend my MOH planned for. This bridesmaid did end up going to Mexico with her man a couple weeks after the failed bachelorette. I didn’t know why she wouldn’t have confirmed the date with other bridesmaids sooner and known this info before but I was too confused to confront her about it. I had scheduled my dress fitting which she knew about for the weekend she planned and could not change my flight so I flew and did not have a bachelorette party. A week later they had my bachelorette weekend with all the activities I had suggested we do without me (hotel, spa, brunch, etc.) which I only know cuz they posted stories and photos about it on insta.

I was so upset we barely spoke after that, I didn’t see them until the wedding and I only got ready with my mom and sister. One of my bridesmaid cancelled on me a couple of weeks before the wedding as well (she gave a good reason but I didn’t know what to believe at this point.) At my wedding after speeches were done my MOH came up to me and asked if I wanted her to give a speech and I told her she could if she wanted, (we hadn’t spoken about it previously) she said in a little bit but then didn’t. Idk if she expected me to get the microphone for her or what. After, her mom asked my mom why she didn’t give a speech so I texted her directly and asked if she was bothered by it, she said no and sent me the speech. I called her but she didn’t answer. A couple weeks later I tried contacting her again and she said she missed me and was busy with work/school, but has pretty much ghosted me since then and the speech is the reason for possibly why. I’m left wondering if my bachelorette party was sabotaged on purpose or just a misunderstanding.

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9

Posted by

Sweet

4 hours ago

Aftermath wedding drama

Need Advice

Apparently the week of my wedding I was told I was on a “Power Trip” after deciding to not go no contact with a relative leading up to the wedding to decrease the amount of stress I was under as a bride to be. Needless to say, the lack of communication from this relative throughout this planning process when I had tried to reach out in the beginning and how much she put me through makes me wonder should I just not talk to her? She criticized my bridesmaids dresses and the makeup artist who did an amazing job. She stated we could talk it out after the wedding but from my perspective the damage has been done. Am I wrong to have the mindset that despite her being blood, it doesn’t mean anything? Thoughts? Because my family gaslit the hell out of me.

why

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4 comments

Vote

Posted by2 hours ago

What do you need to put in the invite?

Need Advice

I know location and time but what else do you actually need? It's hard to find good examples online of the type of invitation I'm looking for without it getting too much. And how do you politely say no kids? We're having a small wedding with about 60 people and having kids would add at least another 10 to an already cramped venue.

Vote

1 comment

150

Posted by1 day ago

bf sil doesn’t like me ??

Need to Vent

My boyfriends brother just got married. Me and my boyfriend have been together longer (5 years) than the newly wedded couple, which isn’t even the point just a minor detail. The wedding invite said boyfriends name & plus one, which okay I guess. But even at the wedding the name chart my name was listed as guest which is what really irritated me. im obviously not going to do or say anything but is it unreasonable to be offended?? i even attended the rehearsal dinner so I’m just like ??? Lol. Also how petty would it be for when I get married to address the husbands now wife as a guest on the seating chart? Again, obviously not but just curious 🤣 even a wedding we recently went to within his family addressed me by my name on the seating chart when I haven’t even met them before and they are more distantly related to my boyfriend so idk I just thought it was weirddd maybe the wife doesn’t like me or am I overthinking

Edit:

there’s a few reasons why I think they may not like me but I could again just be overthinking it. one, I wasn’t invited to combined bachelor/bachelorette party. I’m totally okay with not being invited but it’s the fact that I was specifically told I wasn’t invited because it was wedding party only which by the way it was not … I’m fine not being invited just don’t lie about the reason why lol. Was not invited to bridal shower & even baby shower. I did end up sending a gift for the baby shower though because I like to think I’m a nice person. For the rehearsal dinner it was clear that I wasn’t invited (and I was fine with that) but then MIL texted her son and DIL asking who was coming and when MIL mentioned my name she said oh yeah thought it was assumed. Pretty sure they only extended the invite because they got called out? Because the texts to my boyfriend about the dinner had it emphasized that it was wedding party, parents and grandparent ONLY like emphasis on the only. It could all be coincidental but idk everything added all up makes me think otherwise. And just to add my name was on the rsvp site so they know my name spelling I have them on Facebook regardless. I talk to the MIL daily. I was cool with the brother prior to him getting with his now wife. I rarely see them, just at family events and I like to think we are friendly? She does say little snarky comments tho here and there that rub me the wrong way but I try not to overlook it. For example we were talking as a family about my best friends wedding and the MIL asked about the colors of the wedding. I said I don’t know I can check. And the wife goes shouldn’t you know the colors since your maid of honor??? Like was that comment necessary? But it’s just little things like that. I don’t even care about the name on the seating chart really I guess I’m just looking for validation of her not liking me lol or is it just in my head

edit : they didn’t send a thank you card for the wedding gift either and it’s been long enough and I’ve seen others thank you cards

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Posted by20 hours ago

Do we need to invite partners?

Need Advice

My boyfriend (30) and I (27) have discussed marriage, and agreed that we would like our wedding to be a small, intimate event - due to financial reasons.

I’ve already decided against inviting my extended family (aunts, uncles, cousins) as we don’t have a particularly close relationship, and it would end up increasing the numbers dramatically. The “blood is thicker than water” rule doesn’t ring true to me.

We’re close to one set of my bf’s cousins, so we’d like to invite them, and we both have family friends we would like to have there too.

We would invite our siblings and their partners, however, we’re struggling to decide whether to invite close friends’ partners or not. We socialize in a group setting every now and then, but we’re not individually friends with most of the partners. It seems harsh not to invite them, but it also feels wrong to say they can come if some of our actual family can’t.

It easily goes from an intimate occasion to a huge affair, and we’re struggling to work it out without causing some kind of conflict in the process. I know it will ultimately be our decision for our day, but wedding choices seem to be known for causing long-term strains in relationships.

How do we decide where to draw the line?

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63 comments

About Community

Came across a wedding-flavoured drama here on Reddit or around the web? Recently attended a wedding where a huge drama went down? Or better (or worse?) it was at your own wedding?! Speak of this drama now or forever hold your peace!

Created Dec 16, 2017

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Hello there!

Welcome to /r/weddingdrama!

A community for drama that is set at the scene of a wedding that comes in many flavours!

Came across a tasty wedding drama here on Reddit or around the web? Recently attended a wedding where a huge drama went down? Or better (or worse?) it was at your own wedding?!

Tell us all about it here!

The idea for this subreddit came from this AskReddit thread, and in particular from this discussion.

Now, show us the popcorn.