Posts about Politics
A lot of people on Reddit seem to have an idea that refusing to date someone because of their political beliefs is shallow or weak-minded. You see it in r/dating all the time.
The common arguments I see are...
"Smart people enjoy being challenged." My take: intelligent people like to be challenged in good faith in thoughtful ways. For example, I enjoy debating insightful religious people about religions that which I don't believe but I don't enjoy being challenged by flat earthers who don't understand basic science.
"What difference do my feelings on Trump vs Biden make in the context of a relationship?" My take: who you vote for isn't what sports team you like—voting has real world consequences, especially to disadvantaged groups. If you wouldn't date someone who did XYZ to someone, you shouldn't date a person who votes for others to do XYZ to people.
"Politics shouldn't be your whole personality." My take: I agree. But "not being a cannibal" shouldn't be your whole personality either—that doesn't mean you should swipe right on Hannibal Lecter.
"I don't judge you based on your politics, why do you judge me?" My take: the people who say this almost always have nothing to lose politically. It’s almost always straight, white, middle-class, able-bodied men. I fit that description myself but many of my friends and family don't—let alone people in my community. For me, a bad election doesn't mean I'm going to lose rights, but for many, that's not the case. I welcome being judged by my beliefs and judge those who don't.
"Politics aren't that important to me" / "I'm a centrist." My take: If you're lucky enough to have no skin in the political game, then good for you. But if you don't want to change anything from how it is now, it means you tacitly support it. You've picked a side and it's fair to judge that.
Our politics (especially in heavily divided, two-party systems like America) are reflections of who we are and what we value. And I generally see the "don't judge me for my politics" chorus sung by people who have mean spirited, small, selfish, or ignorant beliefs and nothing meaningful on the line.
Not only is it okay to judge someone based on their political beliefs, it is a smart, telling aspect to judge when considering a romantic partner. Change my view.
Edit: I'm trying to respond to as many comments as possible, but it blew up more than I thought it would.
Edit 2: Thank you everyone who gave feedback. I haven't changed my mind on this, but I have refined my position. When dealing with especially complicated, nuanced topics, I acknowledge that some folks just don't have the time or capacity to become versed. If these people were to respond with an open mind and change their views when provided context, I would have little reason to question their ethics.
Seriously, thank you all for engaging with me on this. I try to examine my beliefs as thoroughly as possible. Despite the tire fire that the internet can be, subs like this are a amazing place to get constructively yelled at by strangers. Thanks, r/changemyview!