Yes, the Showtime produced anthology film was intended as the pilot movie for what would be their answer to "Tales From the Crypt", then at the height of its popularity on HBO. For whatever reason, they didn't proceed with a series, but thankfully what we did get is an energetic, gory and darkly humorous romp courtesy of John Carpenter (as well as the first major horror credit from writers Billy Brown and Dan Angel, later to bring us the "Goosebumps" TV series and "The Haunting Hour" as well as the underappreciated "Night Visions"). Carpenter, in pure Crypt-Keeper mode and clearly having an absolute blast, plays a cackling, ghoulish mortician who takes on a tour of his mortuary's residents, or as he calls them, "the arriving departed." (The fact that his opening scene shows him guzzling formaldehyde in a martini glass is a big hint he's not what he seems.) Death by natural causes bores him, so he shows us the residents of body bags, i.e. those who die in horrific fashion, leading us to three horror tales:

"The Gas Station" - Directed by Carpenter, this is him riffing on his masterwork "Halloween" is fun style (seriously, the film is even set near Haddonfield). College student Annie (Alex Datcher) is starting her new job as the night shift attendant at a remote gas station, which would be creepy enough on its own. Except there's also a serial killer prowling the area (no, contrary to what you may think, it's NOT Michael Myers this time) and there's no shortage of red herrings in the parade of odd customers who show up. Even the previous shift's attendant (Robert Carradine) is not above suspicion. Can Annie figure out who the killer is and make it through the night? It's fun watching Carpenter basically do a new take on his most acclaimed film, but also you get a wide variety of genre names making appearances, including Wes Craven, "An American Werewolf in London's" David Naughton and Carpenter regulars Peter Jason and George "Buck" Flowers" among the parade of suspicious customers. (Craven in particular is a memorable creeper.) And you also get a most unexpected Sam Raimi cameo that plays into the story's twist.

"Hair" - Carpenter again handles this cautionary tale about men who won't accept their receding hairlines. Stacy Keach stars as an affluent businessman obsessed with his thinning hair, to the point that it's affecting his relationship with his girlfriend (Sheena Easton...yes, that Sheena Easton), who could care less. This obsession leads him to a mysterious clinic where the shady doctor (David Warner) provides him a miracle cure that ends up working wonderfully...but perhaps he should have checked to make sure where his new hair originated from. The twist is wonderfully bonkers and Warner in particular is in his element (aided by Deborah Harry as his loyal nurse). And yes, that's Greg Nicotero showing off his own flowing locks in one scene.

"Eye" - Tobe Hooper takes the director's chair for this one (he later appears onscreen himself with Tom Arnold as fellow coroners) which features Mark Hamill (yes, really) as an aging pro baseball player who loses one of his eyes in a car crash and, unwilling to admit his career is over, undergoes an experimental procedure that has his eye replaced with that of a recently deceased donor. The procedure works, but Hamill soon starts receiving horrible visions and dreams of murder and necrophilia and he realizes the eye came from a very evil source that isn't quite gone, which puts his wife (Twiggy) in serious danger. Very much the darkest of the stories, with Hooper in his element and Hamill in excellent form as a nice guy slowly being twisted into something monstrous (by the climax, he's basically doing his Joker). Also for MST3K fans, the two doctors who do the surgery are played by none other than an aged John Agar and Roger Corman himself. Now that's a combo.

Any fan of "Tales From the Crypt" will want to check this one out. And if nothing else, it will make you wish we had a series to enjoy Carpenter's Crypt-Keeper expy chewing the scenery whole.