I am not The OOP, OOP is u/TOMATOES-4-EVER

OOP HAS SINCE DELETED THEIR ACCOUNT

My(24m) parents(49m),(49f) disowned me 5 years ago for false accusations, now they want to talk

Originally posted to r/TrueOffMyChest

TRIGGER WARNING: Homophobia, mentions of rape, mentions of death of a child, verbal abuse, emotional abuse emotional manipulation

Original Post March 15, 2023

English isn't my first or second language I'm sorry

I am bisexual, when that happened I was still in the closet and didn't tell anyone about my ex our relationship.

My ex and my family were my whole world. I thought I had a good relationship with my parents. I had inside jokes with my dad. Shared hobbies with my mom. I also had a good relationship with my sister(10)at the time. I didn't drink, smoke, or be late most nights. I wasn't perfect. But I wasn't that troubled teenager of a boy that didn't even deserve to be fucking heard.

In the summer, my ex and I planned "sleep over" at his parent's house. I know it was a stupid decision to sleep at his parent's house when no one knew about our relationship, but I was 19, stupid and hormonal. His parents heard us and his father entered the room and beat my ex-boyfriend, when he tried to hit me, his wife grabbed him and I quickly grabbed my clothes and ran away and went to my home. In the evening of the next day my father entered my room and grabbed my hair while my mother was crying and telling me if I had raped my little sister as well? I didn't understand what she was saying, and I told her of course I didn't rape her, but my father said that I was just a mistake and dragged me out of the house and told me that if I didn't run away from him now like i ran away from my victim house yesterday, he will turn himself in to the police because he will be murdering me.

I tried to call my ex-boyfriend to make sure he was okay, but he didn't answer. When I called my grandmother, she told me I should be ashamed of myself and i should surrender myself to the police, and that she would support me if I did this. I tried to ask her what was happening, but she said that she couldn't bear to hear my voice and hung up the phone. I went to the house of my close friend Angle, she wasn't at home, but her father was(I call him uncle) I did not plan to talk to him, but I could not stand it and cried in front of him, he listened to me and assured me that i had a place in his house and to not worry.

The next day, my uncle sat me down and told me that he spoke to my father, and he told him that I had raped my ex-boyfriend and forced him to do things he didn't want to do, had it not been for his parents discovering us, I would continued the rape. I was shocked and showed him the messages that were between us. I don't remember what happened but I was crying hysterically and Angle was holding me and my uncle calling the ambulance. After I got out of the hospital, we spoke with a lawyer and reached an agreement with my ex-boyfriend that he would confess to my family that it was a lie, otherwise I will file a defamation case. All the evidence was against my ex-boyfriend and he accepted, but it wasn't enough for my parents because they sent me a legal disowned letter.

I will spare you from the details, but know that I am fine now. Two days ago, my parents sent me a long message, asking to"talk" they said my sister died, and they wanted me at the funeral on Friday, and to "talk", I told them to fuck off and to give the funeral location, they told me ethier I talk to them or they won't give me the time/location.

I want to see my little sister, but I don't want to see my parents, the thought of them only make me sick. what did I do wrong to deserve this? Be gay?

Edit: my uncle is actually my friend father i call him uncle out of respect for him, he isn't related to my family and doesn't know anyone except my parents

Edit: I couldn't find my sister's death record online as some suggested, but I spoke to my aunt, and she assured me that my sister had died. I asked her about the location of the funeral, but she refused to tell me.

I see alot of comments saying they are lying about my sister death i don't think they are i have nothing, I'm not successful, I don't own my own company or my own home I don't even have kids.

Update March 26, 2023

English isn't my first or second language I'm sorry

Summary:- I was in a secret relationship with my ex-boyfriend. We were discovered and my ex-boyfriend accused me of raping him. My dad then disowned me 5 years ago. Two weeks ago my dad told me that my little sister had died. They asked me to talk to them, otherwise they would not give me the location of the funeral.

I would be referring to my relatives by U an A, U for my uncle and A for my aunt, I would be calling my friend father uncle.

Before the update I want to answer some questions:- Why did they accuse you of raping your sister and who accused you?

I don't know

Why don't you search for your sister's name online instead of talking to your family?

I tried, but I couldn't find her name. My friend told me that sometimes these things take up to two weeks to go public.

Why not ask funeral homes?

I tried, but the law in my country is different

Why don't you lie and tell your parents you'll talk after the funeral?

My parents were very clear in the messages that they wanted to talk before Friday

Why not ask your family members?

I did. I asked U and A. U told me that he doesn't want to be in a family fight, and A confirmed my sister's death, but she didn't want to give me the location. I didn't want to continue asking because my family is small, and I didn't want to risk my parents knowing about my search for the funeral location

About my ex:-

When my ex-boyfriend confessed, he said that his parents wanted to kick him out and stop paying his college fees ,so he told them that I had raped him, and he wanted to report me to the police to shut his father up, but his father told him not to do that so he thought his parents dropped it. He didn't expect his parent's to go and talk to my parent's.

The update:-

Thanks Reddit I took a lot of your advice

(This happened two weeks ago)After the post and talking to A and U, I decided to meet my parents. I didn't have much time until the day of the funeral, and I didn't want to miss it. Many of you advised me not to go, but I hope you understand my position. She is my only sister. I know that she has changed and isn't the same person anymore. But I was going to say goodbye to that child that I remember, not the person she is now.

On Wednesday evening, I told my uncle about my decision. I didn't need to ask him if he could come with me or not. He beat me to it and said he would go with me. I asked Angel and another dear friend of mine, and they accepted. I spoke to the same lawyer who handled my rape allegations. I asked him to supervise my meeting with my parents. I did not expect him to accept, but surprisingly he did, he tried to confirm my sister's death, but unfortunately, due to lack of time, he couldn't. On Thursday morning, I spoke to my parents and told them that I would meet them this evening, but on my own terms:-

1. I will have a lawyer and we will meet at a law firm. 2) Half an hour after our meeting, my parents will give me the funeral location, or I will leave. My parents tried to argue, but I put my foot down and they agreed to my terms.

When I got to the law firm and saw my parents for the first time in years, they smiled at me and waved like nothing had happened. After they sat down, the lawyer started recording the meeting and introduced himself before mentioning my first and new last name (my father disowned me and I legally lost my last name). I heard my new last name a lot in the past 5 years, but in that moment, it felt real. I don't know how to describe it, but the realization that I was actually disowned hit me. I feel that my parents felt the same way because the joy on their faces disappeared after hearing my name. After the lawyer finished explaining everything, the meeting started and my parents spoke to me as if the past 5 years had not happen. I was disgusted when my mother tried to hold my hand, but I pulled away.My parents didn't say anything worth mentioning. After half an hour, my lawyer asked my parents to give me the funeral location. My father said that when the family goes through difficult circumstances, they support each other. My friend interrupted him and told him my new last name. My parents seemed devastated, but my mother continued and said " do you know those feelings that you felt when you heard the news of your sister's death?, I will feel them soon". I was confused and asked her, What does this have to do with the funeral location? My lawyer spoke and asked my parents if my sister died or not? My father tried to change the subject, but my lawyer repeated the question and my father said no.

You were right reddit, it was a lie. My sister didn't die. The writing was on the fucking wall, but I couldn't see it. Nothing written in the message was real. After my father told me that my sister wasn't dead, my body felt very heavy and I couldn't breathe. That's all I remember. I was told that I looked like a ghost, my lawyer tried to talk to me, but I didn't respond, so he decided to end the meeting, but my father objected and started yelling at me, I tried to run, but I fell and started vomiting excessively before I passed out on the floor. I feel like an idiot. I can't believe I fell for this lie. I kept telling myself that my parents wouldn't lie to me about this. We're not in a TV show or a movie. I kept telling my self that U who hates family drama wouldn't get involved in something like this, I can't believe they did this to my sister, FOR FUCK SAKE I AM THEIR SON! When my dad told me that he was going to kill me, I never thought he would do it, but now I'm not sure. I don't know who my parents are anymore. I don't even know why they lied. After the meeting, they sent me a message asking if I was okay? They didn't apologize or even give me any explanation what so ever.

I filed a restraining order against my parents and anyone who's involved, including U and A. Some of my relatives contacted me and swore to me that they had nothing to do with what was happening and that they thought that my parents were going to talk to me about my grandmother's illness and her desire to see the family together. some of them even sent me medical reports proving her illness and her wanting to see me, but I don't want to see her or any of my family members ever again. When my ex confessed his lies she didn't believe my ex, she said I pressed my ex legally to lie about not being rape by me and I should stop lying and confess so everyone can move on. What hurt me the most was that she wanted to "fix me", she was sending me places that treat rapists and "me too" stories until I gave up and blocked her.

The police were called on my parents, my sister is currently living with one of my relatives, and no I didint talk to her. My therapist advised me not to. I currently live with my uncle. I feel safe near him. He helped me a lot without question or hesitation. He even took care of my pet bird for free. I owe him,Angel and my friend a lot. Even in my teenage years before this happened, they were always by my side. I don't think I would have survived without them. I hope my sister have the same support too. I don't know why my parents resorted to lying about my sister, and I don't think I want to know, I lost what little respect I have for them.

Thank you reddit. I don't know how this would have ended without your advice

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