DnD: Roll for Initiative!

Ill preface with the obvious stuff. i know dnd is a game.A game where most of the mechanics revolve around fighting. Some conflicts are unavoidable and none of the enemies are real. Its not anything i lose sleep over.

Ive been a player for about six years now. Dnd is a great game for telling stories. I love the social roleplay, even the fighting itself can be fun, but often i tend to empathise even with the 2 dimensional evil monsters and no matter what character i play it always feels wrong to take the life of a sentient being, even if they have done terrible things. To me it feels less like a victory to violently put down an enemy and more like a tragedy that it needed to happen.

If i see a troll terrorising a town a tend to think "Whats forced him out of his home?" If i see bandits robbing someone i tend to wonder why they need to resort to stealing in the first place. If we enter the dungeon of some monsters it always feels wrong because this is their home were invading.

Part of it for me is that killing always feels like the least interesting outcome. I always get more engaged when I can help the monster find an alternative solution, or redeem a bbeg. To me leaving enemies alive just opens up so many more potential storytelling opportunities.

But its also that I love playing good characters. characters who dont just fight the bad guys but actively try to practice compassion. Those human moments of warmth where you feel like youre able to help someone to me are some of the most rewarding. Removing all possibility of finding that connection honestly feels like a betrayel of that.

It frustrates me to an extent when i play with other players and they in or out of character consider a less violent approach inefficient or impractical. Sure its not always the easiest thing to find another solution but if were playing heroes should we not strive to find a better way? That usually gets an eyeroll but i see it as true. Being a hero, especially a fantasy hero should be about more than just winning and getting gold. Sure you need to make the hard call from time to time but why does that hard call always need to result in bloodshed?

At the same time though i get it. D&d kind of trains us to dehumanise monsters to a certain extent. most of the mechanics revolve around finding different ways of inflicting damage, dms are encouraged to ask players to describe the kill, most encounters are combat focussed etc. so im probably fighting the design of the game here and a reasonable response would be to play another system, which, fair. But i like the games im a part of in dnd so that probably wont happen. At the same time im not going to demonise anyone who likes to kill the odd goblin. This is all silly fantasy nonsense after all.

I guess im curious to see if im in the minority here. Do others feel the same way? Do you try to go out of your way to resolve encounters peacefully? Or do you prefer to use those cool spells?