Biglaw lawyers on <reddit>.

Everyone talks about keeping your lifestyle the same when you get into biglaw so you aren’t trapped by the golden handcuffs. Don’t buy a big expensive home, don’t buy that luxury car, keep expenses to the same level. It’s really good advice.

But there is an element of the golden handcuffs I have not seen discussed: that your life may naturally grow and become substantially more expensive. I think it’s fair to say that from graduating law school to about year 7 of practicing, many people will go from single to married with kids. The golden handcuffs aren’t a luxury car and ordering takeout daily (though they can be)- they are living in a good area, the high rent or mortgage for that home (which needs to be big enough for the family), and the insane cost of daycare and/or private education (or the comparably higher rent/mortgage of an area with good schools). Rent and daycare are more than half my monthly paycheck (caveat: take-home pay). If that good area to live is far from family, your expenses further increase bc you need sitters more often and costs to travel home. It snowballs fast.

Moral of the story: it isn’t as easy as it sounds. Kids are expensive. Giving them a safe environment and good opportunities is expensive.

Why did I write this? Maybe venting. Maybe for commiseration. Maybe because it makes leaving big law, which is causing major challenges for me personally, even harder.

Edit: typo

Edit 2: I think I know why I posted this. The golden handcuffs dilemma for me, currently feels like the following difficult (and possibly false) choice: opportunities for my kids vs. my mental health.

Edit 3: thanks for the award!

Edit 4: just to clarify a couple things. 1) I believe in and support public education, and if I lived in an area with safe and strong public schools I would opt for that over private school. I don’t see private schools as the only option, but the COL in an area with good public schools can be just as expensive as mortgage + private school in a less expensive area. 2) i am not complaining I don’t make enough. I’m Im so grateful for the benefits I have and that I work for a great firm. I’m just exploring the challenges of leaving biglaw, not trying to complain that I need more money nor that I’ll end up broke. I’m beyond fortunate to be where I am.