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I am not the Original Poster. That is u/HungryTaco4/ . They posted in r/actuallesbians/
Mood Spoiler: Depressing for now, hopefully OOP will follow through and get some justice
Content Warning: Racism, LGBTQ discrimination, trans discrimination, police, injustice, mental health
Original Post: May 27, 2023
So I was playing mini golf with my gf. We were at a pretty crowded outdoor place, and there was a family with kids behind us.
At one point we kissed and the mom stormed over all upset saying "How dare you. Disgusting. What if my kids see? You should be ashamed."
In response I kissed my gf a minute later right as her daughter was putting. We're both so fed up with homophobia that we have a lot of anger built up and wanted to get back at her. Not like we did anything wrong though.The woman called somebody on the phone and then just stared at us, smirking.
About 15 minutes later two police officers pulled out guns and told us to get our hands in the air. My girlfriend was shaking and in tears as they handcuffed us. She's black. I can only imagine the sorts of things running through her head at this point.So I'm trying to explain to the police that we didn't do anything, they just tell me to shut the fuck up. By now I'm half sure one of us is gonna get shot.
Finally after I said for the 900th time "We haven't broken the law," one of the cops replied with "Sexual harassment of a minor is a felony." Thinking as quickly as I could I said "Ask the children. They'll tell you we didn't do anything." They just tell me to shut up again, and we get paraded off the course in handcuffs and thrown into a police car. After a few hours in a holding cell they finally let us go.
I don't want to relive that experience or even talk about it here. I've never seen my girlfriend so devastated in my life. She looked like she had just gone through torture. It was like the light in her eyes was flicked off. Once we got home she just sat on the couch hyperventilating, with her hands on her head and legs against her chest. I tried to comfort her but she smacked my hand away. I didn't get a word out of her until morning.
When she finally woke up we got to talking. She seemed better than last night, but still among the worst I've seen her. It took a few hours of talking to calm her down enough for her to make any sense. One thing she said really stuck out to me. "I thought my life was over, that I'd never see my friends and family again, that I'd never feel fresh air in my lungs. It was like dying while still being alive."
I'm at a loss for words. This whole experience was so traumatizing. I'm just glad that I didn't realize the gravity of it while I was in that cell. The idea that I'd get sentenced for real never crossed my mind. My girlfriend was no so lucky. I just want to get this out, to tell somebody. Our parents are homophobic. I don't have many friends. I hope I can find support here.
We live near Houston.
Update (in original post): I'm going to the mini golf place first thing tomorrow to try and get the footage. We need to work on finding therapists and at least start recovering mentally before we consider legal stuff cuz we're not in a state to deal with this right now and my gf might have a mental breakdown.
Comments:
From OOP: We now know that she did not call police and tell them we were kissing. She specifically said that we were "touching them".This is exactly why I felt so scared, American jails are fucked up to a level that's hard to even describe. You are not treated as a human. There are literally zoos that treat their animals better than jails treat human prisoners. I was really worried I'd miss taking my estrogen which I need to survive as a post-op trans woman, but the risk of outing myself was too high when I was put in the women's section without a second thought.
Reddit comment: Also contact local and state news agencies, the police will be much more likely to follow up the course of justice if the public eye is on them, instead of sweeping it under the rug. I'd also recommend filing charges against that woman for falsely reporting a crime, put her on blast so people know what a shitty human she is.
OOP response: I just don't think I can put my gf in that situation, let alone myself. Reliving this trauma will take years off our lives. The one good thing is that the mini golf was not in the same city where our house is, so a different police department.
I think my gf would be in danger of having a mental breakdown if she tries to relive any of this stuff. It's already bad enough that she can't see a therapist about any of it. I guess I can try to be her therapist but it's tough cuz I'm traumatized too, even if not as much as her. Between being black and Cuban with some family members having spent years in jail under the dictatorship, her mind went right to the very worst case scenario and I don't blame her. She was so scared.
Commentors made suggestions about legal action and suing the police, many suggesting the ACLU and Lambda Legal. One comment was an excellent compendium of resources in the Houston area from u/ScaredArmadillo69, and a resource for LGBTQ mental health resources from u/AbFabFreddie.
UPDATE– Posted May 29, 2023 (2 days later)
So we got the footage from the mini golf place, they were more helpful than I was expecting. The footage comes from a good direction so it shows the woman smirking, making the phone call, and then the police pulling guns on us.
After doing a little digging I found the pos who did this to me on social media. Both of the officers who arrested us are following her on multiple platforms, with comments on her posts going back years. They obviously knew each other and I'm guessing that she didn't call 911, but she called her 'friends' to do a favor for her, to scare the gay out of us or some shit. They knew they didn't have any evidence cuz we got let out, not bail or anything, after only a few hours.
Just wanted to let people know that I'm trying to compile as much evidence as I can, but we're not gonna take any legal action until my gf has had a few therapy sessions, as right now if she's forced to relive any of this trauma she could have a mental breakdown, she's as close to it as I've ever seen in 16 months of dating.Thank you all so much for being supportive, I really appreciate it and hopefully we will get through this together.
Please be safe out there!*hugs* -a texas transbian
Update in update post: My gf and I are switching apartments, to the floor above, so that if the woman tries to retaliate she'll have the wrong place.
OOP comments in update post:
(1) I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but we can't really see a doctor so easily. To put it plainly neither of us have insurance. Our jobs are more freelance style. So I don't think this is an option.
(2) I'm reaching out to a lawyer tomorrow. My girlfriend's parents know somebody who works as an attorney in Beaumont, and we're gonna give him a call.
Many Redditor comments about documenting everything, getting screenshots of the dodgy social media posts, connecting OOP to resources, legal suggestions, etc, and emphasizing the importance of speed on this matter to ensure recordings are maintained.
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I really hope OOP gets a good lawyer and sticks it to these cops!
Reminder: I am not OOP, this is a repost sub.