r/TwoXChromosomes: You are the community. You have all the power of the internet to mold it.

Just a little vent today, but I’m sick and tired of being a woman. I’m plain exhausted of it all.

I’m tired of my plans being the only ones that need to be changed when the unexpected happens.

I’m tired of my parenting being blamed as the primary reason when my children misbehave, even though their father is absent. I’m tired of feeling guilty and looked down on when I don’t attend every one of a thousand events for my 3 children.

I’m tired of fitting my bathroom time in around everyone else, even my husband. My job is “flexible,” so why should I care about squeezing in 10 minutes of bathroom time after everyone else?

I’m tired of the blank stares when I tell my family I don’t know what’s for dinner. Obviously it’s up to me, right? I’m the family planner, after all.

I’m tired of going behind chores to pick up the rugs they don’t vacuum, the sink they didn’t rinse out after dishes, the crap stuck under the bed they didn’t notice. I’m tired of repeating myself, of asking again and again. I’m tired of “mom’s work” being the least important thing on anyone’s mind.

I’m tired of unpaid work being automatically shifted to me. Roof leaking? I better call because if I wait for my husband to do it, we will need an entirely new roof. That box that fell behind the refrigerator? If I don’t pick it up, it will be there until I die. There’s a box of trash on our porch that I asked my husband to take out over a month ago. I’m waiting to see how long it sits there, I’m guessing until I ask 2 more times.

Most of all, I’m tired of my day-to-day life being the most disrespected of anyone. Mom takes all the crap but loves unconditionally. Mom doesn’t want the home in disarray, so she will do it. Mom wants her children to be successful and good people, so she will work on herself and everyone else too. Mom won’t get angry and vent too much because then everyone will be grumpy and make her life harder in other ways.

I could leave my husband, but am I willing to go into poverty over shoddy chores and boxes behind fridges? Should I choose between respect or a harder life? I love my husband. Why should I have to choose between love and respect? Why can’t they understand? I’m tired of having to choose.

I could come up with all kinds of clever ways to get my family to “help me.” But at the end of the day, it will take my effort, dedication, and enforcement to make that happen. More work for me, terrific!