Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (2001)
Actors:
Ben Affleck (actor),
Jeff Anderson (actor),
Diedrich Bader (actor),
Jerome Benton (actor),
Jason Biggs (actor),
Marc Blucas (actor),
Gavin Brooks (actor),
Thomas Burke (actor),
George Carlin (actor),
Wes Craven (actor),
Matt Damon (actor),
Matt Damon (actor),
William B. Davis (actor),
Morris Day (actor),
Ben Affleck (actor),
Plot: Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back is a tale of adventure on the open road. When Dante and Randal (of Clerks fame) get a restraining order to keep the punchy Jay and his hetero life-mate, Silent Bob, from selling drugs in front of the Quick Stop convenience store, their lives are suddenly empty. They find new purpose when their friend, Brodie, informs them a movie is being made featuring two infamous characters based on their likenesses. After visiting one of the creators of the Bluntman and Chronic, Holden McNeil, they set out to get what fat movie cash they deserve and hopefully put an end to people slandering them on the Internet. Along the way, they learn the rules of the road from a hitchhiking George Carlin, ride with a group of gorgeous jewel thieves, and incur the wrath of a hapless wildlife marshal for liberating an orangutan named Suzanne. The quest takes them from New Jersey to Hollywood where a showdown involving the police, the jewel thieves, and the Bluntman and Chronic filmmakers will decide the fate of Suzanne, Jay, Silent Bob, and their good names.
Keywords: 1970s, 2000s, angel-on-shoulder, animal-abuse, animal-experimentation, bitch, braces, breaking-the-fourth-wall, burglary, c4-explosives
Genres:
Comedy,
Taglines: Hollywood had it coming Someone is making their life story into a movie, and they haven't been paid. So they're on their way to Hollywood to get even. Scooping the Money! Scooping the Monkey Strike Back... August 24th 2001
Quotes:
Jay: Tickets? Since when did they start charging for the bus? Didn't we used to ride that shit to school every morning for free?
Jay: Yo lunchbox, hurry it up.
Sissy: Y'know, I don't get you, Justice. You used to be into all this girl stuff. Stealing, boning, blowing shit up, and now you're like this little priss with a conscience. It's really a fucking drag.
Jay: I am the master of the C.L.I.T. Remember this fucking face. Whenever you see C.L.I.T., you'll see this fucking face. I make that shit work. It does whatever the fuck I tell it to. No one rules the C.L.I.T like me. Not this little fuck::[referring to Silent Bob]::Jay: , none of you little fucks out there. I AM THE C.L.I.T. COMMANDER! Remember that, commander of all C.L.I.T.s! When it comes down to business, this is what I do. I pinch it like this. OOH you little fuck. Then I rub my nose with it.
Holden: If the buzz is any indicator, that movie's gonna make some huge bank.::Jay: What buzz?::Holden: The Internet buzz.::Jay: What the fuck is the Internet?::Holden: The Internet is a communication tool used the world over where people can come together to bitch about movies and share pornography with one another.
Banky: Stop the movie? What are you, crazy?::Jay: All these assholes on the internet are calling us names because of this stupid fucking movie.::Banky: That's what the internet is for. Slandering others anonymously. Stopping the flick isn't gonna stop that.::Jay: This isn't fair. We came to Hollywood, I fell in love. Fuckin', we got shot at, we stole a monkey, and I got punched in the motherfucking nuts by a guy named Cock-Knocker.::Banky: You know what? I feel for you boys, I really do, but Miramax - you know, Miramax Films - paid me a shitload of money for Bluntman and Chronic. So it occurs to me that people badmouthing you on some website, is NONE OF MY FUCKING CONCERN!::Silent Bob: Oh, but I think it is... We had a deal with you, on the comics remember, for likeness rights, and as we're not only the artistic basis, but also obviously the character basis, for your intellectual property, Bluntman and Chronic. When said property was optioned by Miramax Films, you were legally obliged to secure our permission to transfer the concept to another medium. As you failed to do that, Banky, you are in breach of the original contract, ergo you find yourself in a very actionable position.::Jay: Yeah.
Tricia Jones: [on "Bluntman and Chronic: The Movie"] Well! That was just another paean to male adolescence and its refusal to grow up.::Alyssa Jones: Yeah, sis. But it was better than "Mallrats". At least Holden had the good sense to leave his name off of it.::Tricia Jones: Why didn't Miramax option his other comic instead. You know, the one about you and him and your "relationship"?::Alyssa Jones: Oh, "Chasing Amy"? That would never work as a movie.
Jay: Do they say who's fuckin' playing us in the movie?::Holden: No, but it's Miramax. So I'm sure it'll be Ben Affleck and Matt Damon. They put those guys in a bunch of movies.::Jay: Who?::Holden: You know, those kids from Good Will Hunting?::Jay: You mean that fuckin' movie with Mork from Ork in it?::Holden: Yeah, I wasn't a big fan either... but Affleck was the bomb in "Phantoms".::Jay: Word, bitch, Phantoms like a motherfucker.
Jay: Affleck, you the *bomb* in Phantoms yo!
Chaka's Production Assistant: [after asked to get a new clean latte] Here's your coffee sir, booger-free.::Chaka Luther King: [slaps it out his hands] Get that shit the fuck out of here.
Graffiti Bridge (1990)
Actors:
Stevo Armani (actor),
Jerome Benton (actor),
Michael Bland (actor),
Atlanta Bliss (actor),
Tevin Campbell (actor),
George Clinton (actor),
Morris Day (actor),
Damon Dickson (actor),
Joel Edwards (actor),
T.C. Ellis (actor),
Mallia Franklin (actor),
Fred (actor),
Morris Hayes (actor),
J.D. (actor),
Patrick Adams (actor),
Plot: Graffiti Bridge is the unofficial sequel to Purple Rain. In this movie, The Kid and Morris Day are still competitors and each runs a club of his own. They make a bet about who writes the best song and the Kid's club is on the line. But the Kid has become a brooding character who writes letters to his dead father and ponders spirituality. Under the Graffiti Bridge in the park, he meets Aura, an angel-like poet with whom he falls in love. Once again, Morris tries to steal his girl, and in the end, she dies in a tragic accident. But not in vain, she has given the Kid his edge back, and Morris gives in and lets him keep the club after hearing the moving ballad the Kid composed.
Keywords: box-office-flop, critically-bashed, music-score-composed-by-director, sequel, written-and-directed-by-cast-member
Genres:
Drama,
Music,
Musical,
Taglines: Music is the power. Love is the message. Truth is the answer.
Quotes:
Morris Day: If you want something done right, hire good people to do it for you!
The Kid: [after singing a fake fanfare when Morris arrives at the club] The King has arrived! [everyone laughs]
Melody Cool: Tevin! Put that money down!::Tevin Campbell: But Mom, there's a couple of 20's in here!::Melody Cool: Oh! Then pick it up! Pick it all up!
Melody Cool: Let me give you a piece of good advice, & I do get paid for counseling!
[first lines]::The Kid: Are there really angels, or are they just in our minds? It all comes out in the wash... in time.
Aura: You can't fight fire with fire. When a man screams, you must learn to whisper.
Morris Day: Jerome... Please tell this woman her account's overdrawn at my bank.::Jerome: Robin, stop asking for so much money!::Robin: Stop asking for money? Boy, I own a part of this joint! If it weren't for my daddy's money, y'all niggas would still be shootin' dice down at the Glam Slam! Shit, you've got some nerve talkin'...::Morris Day: Robin... Honey... Sweetheart... Baby, please! You see this? [turns and aims his rear end to Robin, patting it twice] Take a week off and kiss it all!
Levi Seacer, Jr. (Kid's Band): [as the Time sings "Release It", entertaining the Glam Slam's crowd and outperforming the Kid's band] Damn, this is embarrassing!::Miko Weaver (Kid's Band): Man, they're doggin' us at our own club!::T.C.: I told you, Kid, you shoulda let me rap!::Levi Seacer, Jr. (Kid's Band): Damn, this is embarrassing!
Aura: It's just around the corner.
Morris Day: Name?::Aura: Aura.::Morris Day: Mmm... Lovely! Where'd you get that ass?::Aura: Same place you got your manners.::Morris Day: Jerome... where'd I get my manners?::Jerome: Same place she got that ass.::Morris Day: And where was that?::Jerome: Mama.::Morris Day: That's right, baby. Yo' mama!