Thanks for the detailed response. I’ve been trying to get all of my routines back to normal and go out more often. Today I went out for several hours and although I went to familiar places there were some changes that really stood out to me (shops boarded up for renovations, new stores open etc).

The biggest issue I’m dealing with is at work, for the past few months my Manager & his Manager (Executive Manager for the office but not the top person if that makes sense) have been on my back about one thing or another. I won’t go into too much detail but basically I’ve asked for adjustments due to both a physical injury and mental health issues. Both were denied siting “operational convenience” as the reason. Then suddenly they said they could consider the adjustment for the physical condition provided I give them a medical documentation, they also decided that an occupational therapist was needed to determine what adjustments were suitable. I gave them a referral letter from my chiropractor (which is covered under both public & private healthcare in my country) but they said that it had to come from my gp. So I went to my gp and asked her for a letter about this condition she’s never treated me for, still not good enough here’s some forms to have her fill out. Nope sorry, that only explains your symptoms we need more details. It’s just one thing after another and I’m utterly exhausted.

Added to this, I have explained to them how my mental health issues have impacted me at work and how the repeated meetings and not having any adjustments put in place have caused me even more anxiety. Also, there’s a few newer people in the team who I’ve been helping to understand everything as I have worked in the office for around 9 years (more than both of these Managers combined). Knowing all of this, they have informed me that my performance isn’t up to the standard of the rest of my team and I need to improve. I asked them to clarify what needs to improve and what aspect I’m doing ok in. They said they will soon be meeting with all the team members to discuss what performance measures will look like. So in the meantime my instructions are do better, work faster and stop helping others.

I just don’t even know what I can do from here. I’ve been trying to apply for other jobs but have been too exhausted to put much time into this and I just really want to quit but absolutely can’t afford to. I used to get on with my direct Manager just fine but now I can’t stand being in the same room as him. The Executive Manager has only been there a couple of months and I absolutely loathe him, but because I’m not a nasty person I haven’t told him exactly where he can shove it and I just smile and continue with my day instead.

I think the only thing that will get me out of that shithole is finding another job and the only thing keeping me going is imagining how satisfying it will be to hand it my resignation and get the fuck outta there.