Military Spouses

Not a military spouse. I (44, F) met my partner (41, M, reservist) in October 2022. We both live in Germany, he's American, I'm European citizen. In January 2023 he gets a new assignment in a city 2.5 hours away from where I live, great opportunity I tell him I'm super proud but I'm not done for a LDR. He tells me nothing will change because he will be in the area every weekend to visit his child. It's April and he only came to visit me once (he comes to my area almost every weekend to see his child) and all the other times I saw him, I drove to his new assignment post where he lives in the barracks and I'm basically Rapunzel stuck in his apartment until he's back. I hate it, but since I can work home office it's the only way I can see him and he says he prefers me going to him because we can spend more time together rather than him coming for a few hours on his way back to his duty post after seeing his child. He's doing a lot of training for his new job atm so I don't want to be a whiney baby but I feel very neglected, I hate to know he's in the area and he doesn't make the slightest effort to come give me a hug. I told him this a couple of times already and he got super defensive, he told me I know how hard the exams he's studying for are and once he passes the exams it will be better and for now he doesn't have the extra time and needs to use the weekend to study and see his child. It also doesn't help that once I went to his place at the barracks, there was a hair pin on his desk (apparently he uses it to clean his ears because he has wax buildup because his eardrums ruptured when he was blown up in war?) and 2 empty contact lenses containers in his bathroom bin (I had to throw my panty liners, I wish I never saw this and he says might be from his friends who went to vist him because he doesn't wear glasses)... I did ask him right away about both and he was super hurt saying I don't see his integrity and how much he cares about me, yadayada.

I don't understand how he can be so detached, being literally 30 min from me and not even thinking about coming to say hi when at the same time he says he cares a lot. Ladies (maybe also men, you might know better) of reddit, is he playing me? Thanks for reading