people are so used to online content being curated for their consumption that they forget tumblr isn’t like that… this is my diary. I don’t post for other people. if you find the stuff I post depressing or annoying or too much or u don’t agree or whatever whatever…. that’s fine it’s not For You? it’s for me. there is no audience I’m performing for. feel free to unfollow me if u don’t like, I’m not a carefully crafted online persona I’m a real person
hiest-moved-deactivated20190716
have y’all seen that nasa pic of the earth with the sun behind it on the night time side it really really fucked me up my own soul became solid and like………….. weeped!
vladdies
who wouldn’t see this and then look deeply into their own emotional playing field to see what improvements could be made purely inspired by the vulnerable earth. this is the face of all literal gods
That ball of shiny blue Houses everybody anybody ever knew -Chris Hadfield, “I.S.S. (Is Somebody Singing)”
umbrellanumber5-deactivated2021
.
.
This.
This is why people who stay in my life are neurodiverse like me!
this!! I swear I lost like all my friendships bc of this, like I had a group of friends in hs that one day I realized “huh I haven’t talked to this people in a while” and popped in to say hi and they were all awkward?? because they hadn’t seen me in a while?? and that’s when I realized that friendship works different for them?? I was like yeah I haven’t talked to you in like four months but it’s not like I’ve forgotten about y'all why would anything change, and they were all like we haven’t talked to you in four months why are you here again acting like nothing happened? and it was really confusing for me
YEAH! THAT!
Also I have a thing where I just put the people on pause. If I don’t see them or contact them, my brain kinda put them in stasis. I don’t think about them nor misses them, and I stay on what I last knew about them (how they look, what they study/work). So when we meet again I’m like “wait, you’ve aged?” and I have the same familiarity with them thanI had before.
Anyway all my mutuals I haven’t messaged in forever - this is why
oh my gods this makes so much sense??? there are people who i haven’t talked to at all for literally over a year and we’ll pick up like nothing happened, but for their people it’s just like…… falling apart but onesided???? i think we’re still on the same level but actually we’re strangers??
Ohhhhhh
OHHHHHHHHH….
Ok but listen, on the other side of this, as a person who moved hundreds of miles away from everyone i knew and then became a hermit for several years, it was SUCH A FUCKING RELIEF to get in contact with an old friend and have him be like, “my friendship levels do not degrade, so in my mind we are still awesome close buddies” and i almost fkn cried. I thought he would be mad or would have moved on because i had slacked on my reaching out to him and staying in touch and doing all the friendship things. But NOPE. 800 miles of distance, depression, and life changing circumstances didnt steal our friendship and i am SO GRATEFUL.
#came back to tumblr after four years #lottie and I immediately went like that spiderman meme yknow tags via @rudjedet
I have literally no friendship degradation whatsoever. I will not have spoken to someone for 5 years or more, and they’re still as much a friend to me as if I had only seen them yesterday. I’m just very bad at communicating if someone is not in my direct orbit. So when Sonja reappeared on this site I basically screeched into her notes like a banshee because I was delighted and we picked straight back up where we’d left off.
Happy to go on the record that I don’t expect regular contact and will welcome hearing from people after a long time
……. I just realized why cons are such a huge deal in the hacker scene and why so many of us are ride or die for people we only see every 1-3 years.
“Excellent! I will see you for three days of hijinks and then not for two years! I love you!”
umbrellanumber5-deactivated2021
.
.
This.
This is why people who stay in my life are neurodiverse like me!
this!! I swear I lost like all my friendships bc of this, like I had a group of friends in hs that one day I realized “huh I haven’t talked to this people in a while” and popped in to say hi and they were all awkward?? because they hadn’t seen me in a while?? and that’s when I realized that friendship works different for them?? I was like yeah I haven’t talked to you in like four months but it’s not like I’ve forgotten about y'all why would anything change, and they were all like we haven’t talked to you in four months why are you here again acting like nothing happened? and it was really confusing for me
YEAH! THAT!
Also I have a thing where I just put the people on pause. If I don’t see them or contact them, my brain kinda put them in stasis. I don’t think about them nor misses them, and I stay on what I last knew about them (how they look, what they study/work). So when we meet again I’m like “wait, you’ve aged?” and I have the same familiarity with them thanI had before.
Anyway all my mutuals I haven’t messaged in forever - this is why
oh my gods this makes so much sense??? there are people who i haven’t talked to at all for literally over a year and we’ll pick up like nothing happened, but for their people it’s just like…… falling apart but onesided???? i think we’re still on the same level but actually we’re strangers??
Ohhhhhh
OHHHHHHHHH….
Ok but listen, on the other side of this, as a person who moved hundreds of miles away from everyone i knew and then became a hermit for several years, it was SUCH A FUCKING RELIEF to get in contact with an old friend and have him be like, “my friendship levels do not degrade, so in my mind we are still awesome close buddies” and i almost fkn cried. I thought he would be mad or would have moved on because i had slacked on my reaching out to him and staying in touch and doing all the friendship things. But NOPE. 800 miles of distance, depression, and life changing circumstances didnt steal our friendship and i am SO GRATEFUL.
#came back to tumblr after four years #lottie and I immediately went like that spiderman meme yknow tags via @rudjedet
I have literally no friendship degradation whatsoever. I will not have spoken to someone for 5 years or more, and they’re still as much a friend to me as if I had only seen them yesterday. I’m just very bad at communicating if someone is not in my direct orbit. So when Sonja reappeared on this site I basically screeched into her notes like a banshee because I was delighted and we picked straight back up where we’d left off.
Happy to go on the record that I don’t expect regular contact and will welcome hearing from people after a long time
……. I just realized why cons are such a huge deal in the hacker scene and why so many of us are ride or die for people we only see every 1-3 years.
“Excellent! I will see you for three days of hijinks and then not for two years! I love you!”
it’s dangerous to go alone! take this. *kisses you straight on the lips*
it’s dangerous to go alone! take this. *kisses you GAY on the lips*
people who experience psychosis and anger issues and paranoia and delusions and intrusive thoughts and addiction and dissociation and other “ugly” non-romanticized mental health issues i love you and i believe you and you are not a bad person
turns out the way you choose to live out each day dictates what your life will look like overall. no i know it's terrible
and another thing: no child should ever be made fun of for things they love especially by their parents
blipityblopityyy
it should go without saying but apparently it needs to be said over and over and over again because every time i hear my mom tease my sister for playing wolfquest, every time i hear a teacher tease a kid for doodling, every time i hear a babysitter laugh at a kid explaining the plot of a show they like, it drives a fuckin stake through my heart because i was that kid once.
i was made fun of enough times by adults, by peers, for liking something and wanting to share it that i just. didn’t. anymore.
dont fucking tease kids for liking things. even if you think its cringe. ESPECIALLY. if you think its cringe. because the way you speak and act towards them when they are sharing themselves with you STICKS and they will think of it years down the line.
BE NICE TO KIDS. BE NICE TO KIDS. LISTEN WHEN THEY SPEAK TO YOU. BE. FUCKING. NICE. TO. KIDS.
I was a substitute teacher for a little while between grad schools, and one day I had a middle school math class for the morning. The work they were assigned wasn’t *especially* hard, and one little girl knocked it out in 20 minutes. She started drawing what was very obviously Sans Undertale, and when I noticed I wanted to be supportive, and had the following exchange:
“What’s that you’re drawing?”
*panicking* “It’s nothing, I’m sorry, I’ll put it away.”
“No it’s okay, I was just curious about it.”
“It’s nothing. I don’t want to get in trouble.”
“You’re not in trouble, I just thought it looked like a character from a video game I like.”
Her face *lit up* the second I gave her the smallest bit of approval. She started asking me if I’d heard of various AUs for Undertale, and I tried to follow along as she explained her favorites. I obviously had to keep an eye on the rest of the class, answering questions and helping with algebra, but each time I passed her desk she had more things to tell me.
Anyway, it was very cute, but also a little sad how obviously starved she was for someone kind to talk about her stories with. Kids deserve to have someone in their corner, and it takes no effort at all to smile and listen if they have something they want to share. Preserve the earnestness you want to see in the world.
Making fun of children for being “cringe”, especially when you’re an adult is cringey in of itself. Like, how insecure and pathetic do you have to be to shit on kids for *gasp* liking things kids like? Cringe Culture and bullying people for their interests is fucking stupid and nearly all the people I knew who take part in that type of behaviour are the most insufferable and nasty mfs I’ve ever met.
nerviovago
wonderful example of a spell with both verbal and somatic components
There are manmade joys beyond my comprehension, too. The horrors aren’t special.
Highly recommend injecting a little whimsy into your life. Say hello to gravestones. Pretend the raindrops on your window are racing. When small children stare at you, wave. My grandfather had a studded belt that started losing its studs. He replaced them with googly eyes. Do what you can to make your life a bit lighter
some things aren't even headcanons they're just divine visions and u have no choice but to accept them
this emerged in my head when I was trying to drive
oldblankcanv-deactivated2022011
May I propose the fill ins?
you know what is funny to me . when people think that kindness and love are about ”keeping the peace” when in reality kindness and love are quite literally my driving force and are the root cause of my rage . I’m so angry because i care so much and i want everyone to be happy and healthy and comfortable and I HATE when people are mistreated . my kindness and love doesn’t always allow me to keep the peace.
this was in response to a now deleted tweet by an adult about disney channel "falling off" and I think about it all the time when people my age complain about teen media